22-07-12, 10:39 PM
When a local reporter asked the Chief Constable how the investigation was progressing he replied it was a case of trowel and error.
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any gardeners out there
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22-07-12, 10:58 PM
Police last night discovered a man ripping out plants on an adjacent allotment. He was arrested & charged with disturbing the peas...
23-07-12, 05:21 PM
(22-07-12, 10:58 PM)Pat link Wrote: Police last night discovered a man ripping out plants on an adjacent allotment. He was arrested & charged with disturbing the peas... The Local Beet Officer's budding career was praised at the end of the daily update just before the investigating officer declared that's shallot for today.
23-07-12, 11:50 PM
when asked how they would transfer the accused to court without their own transport the officer replied, "wheelbarrow a van from G4S"
thou shalt not kick
24-07-12, 12:29 AM
Earlier this week,the police informed the public that a ...spade...had been found in connection with the incident!!!!!....and yesterday a eyewitness came forward stating he can identify the culprit??.....local buisiness man and land owner...old mcdonald..who used to own a nearby farm""(AKA)...e,eye..e,eye...hoe!!....was taken to diggernam police station to hopefully identify from a line up!!....several spades appeared in the line up,,and this appeared to confuse mr mcdonald..(specialy as one spade looks like another)!!!!!!!!.....this got even more confusing for the poor old fella when a frustrated policeman told him to hurry up and take his>>>>>>>>PICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes .....the case continues>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
24-07-12, 08:47 AM
Police announced today that the G4S van had been held up on a dual-cabbage way by a couple of Swedes carrying pea-shooters & the suspect released, currently they have no leads, but are sure something will turnip. The spokesman went on to say "We know that the criminal undergrowth can't keep oat a secret for long & should anything leek onto their grapevine one of our grasses will no-doubt spill the beans"
24-07-12, 10:35 AM
Paul is concerned after vandals left patches of bare earth on his allotment. He is hoping somebody will grass them up.
I used to not give a foc, then I discovered Red Bull and now I don't give a flying foc !!!
24-07-12, 10:05 PM
The local community said "weed like to help but he wont lettuce".
25-07-12, 08:49 AM
Hoe hoe hoe......................... Hope this doesn't go on forever. But suppose others will be saying lawn may it continue.
Better to stand and look a fool than speak and prove it !
If it aint broke, I'll fix it till it is !!
26-07-12, 10:17 AM
Apparently special branch are getting involved in the hold up and have assured the escapee that, "he will be berry sorry when we catch him as he faces the full weight of the loam"
thou shalt not kick
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