I was trying to explain to my missus tonight how hard it is to fart while riding

[midden]

I must be some kind of freak then because I have no problem or special technique for farting whilst riding a bike 

Not a freak. You've just obviously grown up
  :rolleyes

[lew600fazer]

Trust me at 65 you do not just let it rip, always has to be a slidder.  :rollin .Real nerve wrecking if you have just had a Vindalu. Thank god for Fabreez when you do get the leathers of after a run.

[Davebo]

I think we've found a level here. Very popular thread.  :lol

[JZS 600]

Toilet humour, works every time  :lol

[lew600fazer]

Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'(  :eek 

[Andy FZS]

I nearly pissed myself laughing and I'm not 50 YET

[mr self destruct]

Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'( :eek

Leave it safely tucked away and use a Shewee. 

[lew600fazer]

[quote author=lew600fazer link=topic=11528.msg124437#msg124437 date=1391274513]
Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'( :eek

Leave it safely tucked away and use a Shewee. 
[/quote]

Ihave to ask what is a shewee

[ChristoT]

[quote author=mr self destruct link=topic=11528.msg124506#msg124506 date=1391327327]
[quote author=lew600fazer link=topic=11528.msg124437#msg124437 date=1391274513]
Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'( :eek

Cough cough...

[img height=625 width=1042]http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0219/6740/products/T-FrontsUsingSheweeCloseUp_CMYK.jpg?v=1368778931[/img]

Leave it safely tucked away and use a Shewee. 
[/quote]

Ihave to ask what is a shewee
[/quote]

[Drax]

Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'( :eek

Coffee is a diuretic i.e it a substance that makes you pee more.

Nick Sanders (some guy who travels a lot on a bike) recommends (in an article somewhere) that its vital you keep yourself hydrated using water /juice rather than tea/coffee for the above reason.

However..as your over 50 - if you contact Saga then they will send out some panty pad / liners in case you dribble after youv'e shook. I only know this as I've just received some in the post. Gonna kill my wife!!

[fazed]

I agree with lew  NEVER TRUST A FART.....ESPECIALLY when you're riding after a curry!

[JZS 600]

Wait till you absolutely positively definitely completely have to have a shit right this second!

[dickturpin]

Wait till you absolutely positively definitely completely have to have a shit right this second!

Now there's something to look forward to! :eek

[JZS 600]

Then, any where will do,,,,,,


(sorry Prague town hall......)