|
Jail
|
16-12-16, 01:35 PM
I've only been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice.
My uncle doesn't f*ck around when playing Monopoly.
Malc
Old enough to know better. 
17-12-16, 02:16 AM
So no get out of jail free card then,
MT-09 Tracer for those who no longer can handle a BIG boy Fazer
22-01-17, 10:49 PM
:lol Nice one :rollin :rollin :rollin
Ever since the missus picked the iron in monopoly I knew she was a keeper.
Treat everything in life the way a dog would- if you can't eat it or foc it, forget it.
23-01-17, 11:34 PM
monopoly..............closest I've ever come to having a fast car :rolleyes
fire never sleeps
23-01-17, 11:51 PM
(22-01-17, 10:49 PM)celticdog link Wrote: :lol Nice one :rollin :rollin :rollin I'd never pick the iron - would give the game away :look
Those are my principles...if you don't like them I have others.
24-01-17, 12:52 PM
Little Johnny was late for school and told his teacher "Sorry miss but Granny got burnt"
Oh, nothing too serious I hope? Well miss, they don't fuck about at the crematorium.
I used to not give a foc, then I discovered Red Bull and now I don't give a flying foc !!!
24-01-17, 02:06 PM
(24-01-17, 12:52 PM)DILLIGAFF link Wrote: Little Johnny was late for school and told his teacher "Sorry miss but Granny got burnt" Have a heart guys, I only just buried my Granny yesterday :'( Mind you took some doing, ended up having to smack her over the head with the spade as she kept trying to climb back out of the hole. 
25-01-17, 09:35 PM
I'm in the dog house again
My Mrs told me to turn off the light and stick it in her ass With hindsight I guess I should have let it cool down
Complete fabrication, I didn't make it up!
01-02-17, 12:20 AM
My wife said tie me to the bed and do what ever you like,
So I tied her up, then took the Fazer out and went for the best spin ever :lol 
01-02-17, 12:56 AM
Old but .....
The mrs said to me .. give me 12inches and make me bleed , so I fucked her 3 times and punched her on the nose. 
01-02-17, 08:26 AM
Gutted to find out the wife's been cheating on me after 10 years of marriage ?
Logged onto the computer last night and she'd forgot to close the Web page down. She was googling 'how to enjoy sex with a fat man with a little cock' Just wait till I find out who he his ??
01-02-17, 09:58 AM
(01-02-17, 08:26 AM)Dudeofrude link Wrote: Gutted to find out the wife's been cheating on me after 10 years of marriage ? Its me!
01-02-17, 10:23 AM
(01-02-17, 09:58 AM)slappy link Wrote: [quote author=Dudeofrude link=topic=21545.msg251354#msg251354 date=1485934009] Its me! [/quote] Bastard!! ???
01-02-17, 01:25 PM
I have high blood pressure problems, my wife wants to know if she can help in anyway . I did suggest she could fuck off . Looks as if I will have to continue with the medication.
MT-09 Tracer for those who no longer can handle a BIG boy Fazer
01-02-17, 07:16 PM
The Missus gave me an early valentines present today, it was a fancy dress costume shaped as a giant pair of knickers?
I enquired as to why she'd bought me such an odd present Her response was "well you act like a cunt, so you may aswell dress like one!!"
Wow! Just reading some of these, I really have lived a sheltered life. I was 23 years old before I found out an Itchyfanny wasn't a Japanese motorcycle.
Treat everything in life the way a dog would- if you can't eat it or foc it, forget it.
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
