Bike Tips 101

[mhowse]

When checking the brake disc's to see if the disc's are hot and your calipers may be sticking, Do Not do this using your Wee Pinky Finger after you have just stopped ...they will be hot you have just stopped..

Been there done it ..Not doing it again ooh Ouch 

[bigralphie]

When you come home after a weekend away don't make a big fuss of your German Shepard while your still sat on the bike
GS nails will go through fuel tank paint like hot butter  :'(

[RobG UK]

For a dog, do not sniff the exhaust pipe when your owner arrives home.  LOL

[fazersharp]

When you have changed the oil dont leave it in a bowl for you to stand on the edge and flip the contents over your shins

[bri h]

Before buying a new battery check the kill switch.

[Jdalt]

Undo the lock before trying to ride off.


dumbest-motorcycle-rider-ever.mp4

[Dave48]

Before removing front wheel remember to support base of engine to avoid having to ask neighbour to help lift bike off floor!

[Dead Eye]

If you are going to support the bike on a hydraulic floor jack, make damn sure that it actually works and doesn't drop your bike on the floor after a few unattended hours....

[Red Ceri]

Always have spare jars available for:

1) the nuts. bolts and washers you invariably have left over from any work you do on your bike

2) the nut that turns up right in the middle of your garage that you dropped two weeks ago and spent 2 hours looking for during a half hour job

[Oldgit]

havearightgoodpissbeforegoinganyfairdistanceonyerbike  :pc

[Mattsplat]

havearightgoodpissbeforegoinganyfairdistanceonyerbike  :pc

I do and I still need another half an hour later  :rolleyes

With age my bladder has turned into the size of a pea...

[dcurzon]

When you're travelling uphill, low on fuel and in sight of the petrol station... If the bike dies (fuel) and you decide to leap off whilst it still has some momentum so you can look all cool whilst you push the last 50meters, DONT get your foot stuck on the top box that you'd clearly forgotton about

[Ash69]

In the event of an accident - assume the twat who knocked you off really is a twat who will lie through his back twatting teeth to wriggle out of a claim, get witnesses to his twatishness and take photos of any twatmobile he/she used to try to kill you.


Expect everyone who you deal with in the process of returning your twatted pride and joy back to the road to be lining their twatting pockets.

[Ash69]

Don't go for a ruby in Scarborough the night before visiting Olivers Mount ................. :o

[bigbluebear]

Tell the council it was their pot hole that fucked your tyre

[dx408]

When taking your bike where there are many to search though add a unique identifier to help you find it!!!!!  :eek

Worked one year at Ramsea sprints IOM packing my gear into the op box and Justin (I think that's who it was from here) walked up and said Hi DX thought it was you. How did you know it was me Fazer with a big Welsh flag on it was a right give away  :lol

[dx408]

When returning to this country via Dover and you get waved though customs make sure your helmet is on before you ride though as you go straight onto main roads with no helmet otherwise (yep I did)

[dx408]

Before snapping on the disk lock make sure the key is not on the bunch you left in the house..... (no I haven't)

Before riding off make sure the removable luggage is actually locked on properly

If using a on-bike camera make sure the view does NOT include the spedo

If using a plastic bag as a hat make sure no one has a camera


Remember no matter how good your machine looks when you park up there is always someone who will go one better


When parking your bike make it as hard as possible for any git to nick it unless they can do a good job of riding off road

[HarryHornby]

After working on your bike, make sure to clean up the sink in the bathroom after washing your hands, especially if the wife only cleaned the bathroom 15 mins previous!  :evil

[hightower]

If you are going to support the bike on a hydraulic floor jack, make damn sure that it actually works and doesn't drop your bike on the floor after a few unattended hours....

I did this recently, the jack method under pipes I mean - once up I used an axle stand too just to make sure