I was trying to explain to my missus tonight how hard it is to fart while riding

[mr self destruct]

Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'( :eek

Leave it safely tucked away and use a Shewee.