Dedicated "off" thread

[fireblake]

Thought I'd share my little off..... Whilst acting as an outrider on patrol we had a well organized contact from three separate positions. I could hear the zip, zip of rounds and when I started to feel the air displacement realized I was being targeted and they were starting to find there range.  Just at that moment I hit a pothole and preceded to veer into the river. As I lay under water with the bike laying on my legs,  lungs about to burst I had a brain wave.  I ripped off the rubber fuel overflow pipe on the tank and put it in my mouth. It was just long enough to allow me to breathe. This bought me enough time to free my legs but when I raised my head above the river bank I immediately came under fire.  I was well and truly  pinned down. I went back into the water thinking I would drift downstream out of harm's way when I suddenly realised that all the commotion had attracted the attention of some rather large crocodiles. It was then I remembered that I had shit loads of chappie in my ration pack as the beef curry and dry biscuits kept repeating on me. So, I opened a couple of tins with the intention of hopefully diverting the crocodiles attention but as soon as I smelt that meaty aroma I just had to tuck in. I think this saved my life as the crocodiles seemed to look at me with disgust and disbelief and fucked off up the river. Sorry lads,  got bored at work and it took so long to tap all this shit into my phone didn't have the heart to delete it.

I knew it was bollox once you mentioned eating Chappie. The smell of that would make me hurl.


Mickey