Change of Direction

[nick crisp]

Have you ever found yourself bimbling happily through life (or so you thought), and then for whatever reason, realised you're actually not at all happy with things, and made a complete change? E.g., quit your job, jacked in a relationship, or whatever, to do something entirely different?

If so, was the realisation quick, or did it dawn on you more gradually? And what did it take to make you finally actually get off your arse and do something about it?

Might be at that point myself right now, and am asking myself a lot of searching questions lately  :eek

[dazza]

42, the answer is 42...https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl...lBiw#t=159

[fazersharp]

Every change in my life has been one that I did not plan for and yet looking back was a change for the best that gave me a push ---- that step that I needed to take but first needed a push. Maybe you are just lacking a push

[noggythenog]

Isnt that just a mid life crisis? :evil

[noggythenog]

Personally im a slow burner.


Ill always know that something isnt quite right but ill be quite calculating i suppose and ill think and think and think about it....then some more.........eventually i will blow but all of that thinking will have prepred me for the moment & so even though ive blown i wont be completely surprised & i seem to have always coped really well that way.


When i look back on my life so far then i really do agree that you make your own luck really.......at the time you think shit that was lucky but later you start to realise that you are a product of your own mind.

[Frosties]

Know the feeling and understand where you're coming from Nick. For me, crept up slowly and then accelerated as I put the pieces together and decided where I wanted my life course to go. Unfortunately, sometimes you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and have no choice but to simply bumble on with it (bumbling for 7 yrs now)......very difficult as you see the time pass and opportunities wasted.

All depends on what it takes to get off your arse and change things - you may doubt your own assessment of things; worry about a big change at a certain age; if your more worried about how your actions will affect others etc. If you are certain about things then I'd say you've got one life and it's your choice how you want to live it.

Good luck.

[Val]

Every change in my life has been one that I did not plan for and yet looking back was a change for the best that gave me a push ---- that step that I needed to take but first needed a push. Maybe you are just lacking a push

Story of my life.

I even have a poem about it:

Do I look like a fool?
I am tired by wife's rule.
She is cunning than Pilate.
Will become a pilot!

On a serious note Who is born to be hanged will never be drowned.

[nick crisp]

Unfortunately, sometimes you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and have no choice but to simply bumble on with it

I have a choice. Carrying on in the current situation however, is not an option. One way or another, things will change for me soon. I had been thinking I was making the sensible choice; ensure I have a roof over my head for the foreseeable future. But will it just be a trap in which I will quickly stale out?

I'm a smoker, for 30 years now. Not likely to change. I've smashed myself up pretty good over the years, and I have all kinds of increasing problems to look forward to from that. For some time now, I've kidded myself that at least I can be comfortable at home, but that no longer seems to be the case, so perhaps the idea of a nice, safe home is losing it's attraction for me.

Live for the now (which is pretty much what I've done for most of my life anyway), or try to secure my future? What future do I have to look forward to anyway? See above? That probably comes across as pretty depressing, but that's not how I actually see it. To put it in a more positive light, maybe I'm missing an opportunity if I go down the "expected" route?

I have no ties, I have no dependants. This should be an easier decision for me than it would be for many, but.....conditioning? Brainwashing? Part of me says it shouldn't even be a difficult choice to make. So why am I dithering about it? What do I need to kickstart me? Aren't all the reasons already there?

[His Dudeness]

I don't know the specific details of your decision nick, that's your business! But talking in general I think living life is about the struggle to improve yourself, challenge yourself to achieve new things and better yourself. Once you're just cruising along and everything is nice and cosy and one day just blends into the next sure what's the point! It's probably the hardest thing to do but putting yourself in positions where you're not sure what the outcome will be is what it's all about I think.

That doesn't mean taking stupid risks but I suppose what one person thinks is a stupid risk might make total sense to someone else. Take riding a bike for example, most people think you'd be mad to ride a bike so they drive a car but we take it as normal, no big deal. We're taking that risk to better ourselves I think.

The thing that you have to recognise is that no one will make the decision for you, you just have to commit to what you believe is the right thing to do and see where it takes you.

[slimwilly]

reading between the lines here,,


i think you are wanting to tell us all something




That you are ready,,,to tell us ,,,,,,,that you want to come "out "  you know,,in your words tell us,,,come Freddy Mercury did  :\

[nick crisp]

reading between the lines here,,


i think you are wanting to tell us all something




That you are ready,,,to tell us ,,,,,,,that you want to come "out "  you know,,in your words tell us,,,come Freddy Mercury did  :\

Well, I do have something to tell you Bill.

I'm afraid it might be a big disappointment to you.

It might even shock you quite a bit.

I'm afraid...

















I'm not going to be the one replacing your Mrs.
Try not to cry, plenty of fish in the sea an' all that  :lol

[sinto607276]

[quote author=slimwilly link=topic=17708.msg204481#msg204481 date=1437420676]
reading between the lines here,,

i think you are wanting to tell us all something

That you are ready,,,to tell us ,,,,,,,that you want to come "out "  you know,,in your words tell us,,,come Freddy Mercury did  :\

Well, I do have something to tell you Bill.

I'm afraid it might be a big disappointment to you.

It might even shock you quite a bit.

I'm afraid...

I'm not going to be the one replacing your Mrs.
Try not to cry, plenty of fish in the sea an' all that  :lol
[/quote]
:rollin :rollin :rollin

[slimwilly]

AHHH Bollocks,,crying myself to sleep now :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[chaz]

First change you need to make is to no longer be a smoker, I stopped 9 years ago and now I wonder why I ever did, started at school when I was 12 and smoked for over 40 years. Next always put your home first, I was fortunate got my first in 74 and was mortgage free by 84 and even after divorce I still had enough to by a terrace house for cash, so for the last 31 years I've been housed for "free".
If I wanted to go off round the world I would rent my house out, so I had the lncome and somewhere to come back to, my advice is always move forwards and never backwards.

[sadlonelygit]

When i turned 40 i packed up the smokes, ditched the bitch and moved away in quick succession.
Best things i ever did. I dragged out leaving my ex for 3-4 years as it was never the 'right' time. Its never the right time so if you are unhappy, then either carry on being miserable or grow a pair and move on.
Life isnt a dress rehearsal,  live it

[unfazed]

When i turned 40 i packed up the smokes, ditched the bitch and moved away in quick succession.
Best things i ever did. I dragged out leaving my ex for 3-4 years as it was never the 'right' time. Its never the right time so if you are unhappy, then either carry on being miserable or grow a pair and move on.
Life isnt a dress rehearsal,  live it

And your as cranky as ever  :rollin :rollin :rollin

[esetest]

Buy a new bike on PCP as due to your age and being a  smoker , biking being a dangerous hobby , the world becoming increasingly unstable you probably won't have to make the final payment , but if you do at least your still alive.

[HarryHornby]

My friend always spoke about moving to Scotland, even when he was with his missus years ago.  He pottered on in our local area, had a couple of fair jobs in health and safety which he really didn't enjoy.  Then one day decided sod it and he moved to a little bungalow on a farm in Scotland by the Caingorms.  He rents it from the farmer.  He's dead dead keen on mountain biking so got a job at Halfords Bike Hut, it pays peanuts but he's loving the freedom it gives him.  He's working on bikes and loving that and getting loads of time to ride some fantastic trails.  He took the VFR with him and that makes him grin even more.


Will he stay there forever? who knows.  but at the mo he's loving it.


He doesn't have dependents either so I guess he's making the most of it.

[sinto607276]

I believe do what you want to do Nick.

Big wow if you smoke or not, what's that got to do with anyone? I smoke, stopped for 12 years and now back on them, so does that mean I can't make decisions as to what I want to do in the future? Don't think so!

Don't know about if you have any commitments anywhere, house? kids? And the likes. The later being the only thing that would stop me travelling or moving on,.lock stock etc etc. And yes I'm thinking once my youngest gets to 18 in 5yrs time may well just do that

For what it's worth, I'd say go for it, as you may well live the rest of your life thinking 'what if'? We get one shot on here,  do what you want to do and enjoy it man.

A friend of mine said to me years ago, "we only regret the things we didn't do in our lives"

Good luck in your decision,  and that's what it is...YOUR DECISION

[nick crisp]

[quote author=sadlonelygit link=topic=17708.msg204535#msg204535 date=1437459650]
When i turned 40 i packed up the smokes, ditched the bitch and moved away in quick succession.
Best things i ever did. I dragged out leaving my ex for 3-4 years as it was never the 'right' time. Its never the right time so if you are unhappy, then either carry on being miserable or grow a pair and move on.
Life isnt a dress rehearsal,  live it

And your as cranky as ever  :rollin :rollin :rollin
[/quote]

I believe he's only being cruel to be kind 

What my heart says- take the money you have, and go and see the world a bit - which for me means jumping on the bike and living an itinerant life until the money runs out, and sod what happens after that.

The problem is increasing aches and pains from where I've mistreated myself in the past (and that doesn't seem to have changed either  :rolleyes). For instance, to do the above, I'd want to do a lot of camping, 1) because I've always enjoyed that, and 2) because it would make the money go further, make the whole travel thing last longer (it doesn't even have to be anywhere exotic - just exploring Europe would be enough to keep me happy for quite some time). But I'm not even certain I can do the camping thing anymore. At the moment, my recent back injury and associated problems are throwing that into doubt. Maybe it will improve, maybe it won't, maybe it will get worse.

I'm not thinking about ways of prolonging my life indefinitely. Sooner or later, we've all had whatever time is allocated to us. Just wondering what to do with what I have left.

The plan until now has been to sell this house (eventually  :rolleyes) and buy one up in Cumbria, where I'll have access to new places to explore on the bike, and places to get back into the hill-walking and camping - all thrown into question now.

But I'm worrying that I'll just be moving to somewhere where the weather will increase the aches and pains to a point where I won't be able to do much, even more so than it is now, hence the reference in my OP about creating a trap for myself.

I also have this, not particularly serious, idea of moving to somewhere like southern Spain, where the aches and pains might be eased a bit. But wherever I go, I'm going to be limited in what I can do for a living (this already applies to even staying in the UK), so would such a move just be limiting my options still further?

These are the kinds of things that you have to weigh up for yourself in the end, and maybe it wasn't even a good idea to start this thread. But unless you discuss things with others who have more/different experiences to yourself, you won't know what options there are or how realistic they may be. I currently live in a place where I have no roots/ties, and don't have anyone around here to discuss these things with, so here it is