Looking a bit of help with a role play situation. I am on a course at the weekend which will involve actors being in my face and ranting on about how i am not doing the job quickly properly good enough etc. I have to stay professional and resist the temptation not punch their lights out.
I would normally match their rant with my own but i am in unfamiliar territory being the passive person.
Any one liners or suggestions how to help.
Depends on who it is opposite you but you could say something like "did your mum dress you this morning?"
Another ex-Fazer rider that is a foccer again
Let them spout off and annotate any matters of fact or things you want to chin them on...Then apologise that they have cleary been upset and that as a manager your job is very much to get to the bottom of things and drive any changes neccessary. then pick up your pencil and a clean piece of paper and say 'Let's write this down to make sure we have the details correct and agreed - then against the principal issues we will agree and action plan and agree the priority actions' -- most importantly we must be able to trust each other and be working in concert to achieve the quickest possible resolution.
No 1 rule..it's difficult to fight someone who is agreeing with you - has empathy and tries to see your point of view.
Rule No 2...don't pander to them..if there is some bad news give it to them as part of your 'agreed' strategy..get their finger prints on it...encompass their ideas if they are sensible and positively park them by the side of the road if they are bollix.
You simply have to manage them, your demeanour and how quickly you grasp and deal with what you are presented with is what marks you out.
If you get any pre reading and they give you paper to write on..don't...write small salient and intuitive notes on the pre-reading itself..this trick will stop you writing stuff you don't need to which is already in there...and they will often pick this material up for analysis.
Just been through the process myself and had fun with it.
The Frying Scotsman
Don't forget the BullSh1t sandwich.
Praise - bollock - praise
or
Agree - correct - agree
or (as is sometimes needed)
Lie - truth - lie
Get them in a good mood, break the bad news to them and then get them to leave on a good note.
Well...........
1. Ask them to wait a moment while you take off your jacket and roll up your shirtsleeves. When they ask what's going on tell them
"Well we are obviously heading for a fight. I'm just getting prepared"
2. "For your comments to be insulting, I would need to care"
3. Practice your Glasgow kiss on a watermelon.
4. ....................but seriously.
5. Try and remember that if you lose your temper, you often lose the argument.
6. Let them rant on, remain passive but attendant. Gently nod your head to acknowledge each point raised. When they finish and hopefully calm down a bit, respond to their grievances.
7. Be aware of your body language. Do NOT fold your arms, point your finger, swear or raise your voice.
If all this fails, kick 'em in the nuts and run. :evil
8. Try and edge yourself out of his personal space, normally at least an arm's length.
I used to not give a foc, then I discovered Red Bull and now I don't give a flying foc !!!
don't try to out shout them, speak quietly and they should reply in kind
don't try to cut them off, let them finish
don't tell them to calm down or that you understand why they are annoyed
wear a karate suit with 3 black belts
thou shalt not kick
If they ask you a question - answer it and stop. If they pause before asking another question, don't be fooled into expanding your answer, just keep quiet and wait forthe next question.
Good info guys, i am hoping that because they are actors and it is role play they will stop ranting when they are supposed to (eg real life) not just keep it going and going no matter what i say or do. I should be in the position to pass them on to a junior member as i cannot keep talking to them as i have to keep an eye on what else is going on elsewhere. They will want to keep talking to make me miss something so i need to end it quickly.
Look them in the top of their ear (left or right) while talking to them. It will feel very strange, they will think you're a bit crazy, psycho, scary. Be nice, patient, answer questions shortly, honestly, while always looking in the top of their ear, instead of their eyes.
And try not to break unpleasant silence. When asked a question, answer with yes/no if possilbe and then shut up.
Most things done in a hurry need to be done again - patiently.
Remember your body language and dont take a defensive or aggresive stance.
Ask them to respect your personal space, normally an arms length.
Ask them what is wrong, keep your voice level low and even.
If you dont have the answer tell them you will go and find out.
And ffs don't call them all the cunts under the sun.
DaveG is..... The Deer Hunter
Slip into the conversation that you are having anger management sessions. Go to the meeting with your fist bandaged up and a black eye. Select your finest pair of ripped trousers and scuffed shoes.
On a serious note - get the shouter to suggest the solution - they are bought into it then and often it is not as horrendous as you might think.
use the classic "me no speak the english"
Bollock's
Stupid title :whip
Better to stand and look a fool than speak and prove it !
If it aint broke, I'll fix it till it is !!
wait until they have finished their 1st rant and suggest that as they are clearly upset by the situation maybe a cup of tea and then you can think clearly of how to assist them. then get them to sit down nearly opposite you. that way you can maintain a bit of distance. when you come back with the bre you can say, i've been thinking of what you just said and i suggest .... what do you think or I been thinking what would you do if you were in my position?
It ain't what you ride, it's who you ride with!!!
