Today's "what got your chuckle on"

[YamFazFan]

That exaggerated, elongated, speeded-up, silly walk you do when a car unexpectedly stops to let you cross the road?.

[locksmith]

On the TV this morning they said to wash your hands properly you should sing the Happy Birthday song twice while washing.
I went in the shower and chuckled while wondering how many times i should sing it washing my fat body!!!

[YamFazFan]

On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

[BBROWN1664]

On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

..unless your driving in the south of England when you need to leave no more of a gap than 0.25s between you and the car in front or some other bugger will pull into that space and you will end up reversing all the way round the M25 to maintain the gap


My versions a bit long but...

[Dudeofrude]

On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

The problem I've always found with that 'saying' is that you can replace the two with pretty much any number and it still works so doesn't really help you remember anything. Only a fool breaks the nine second rule? ?

[YamFazFan]

Blimey it must have been donkeys' years ago! :lol


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf5d2DP4Pp0

[Hugh Mungus]

If you leave a gap of 2 seconds nowadays some fool will cut in front of you.

[tommyardin]

On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek

[Wharfe]

Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek



THAT made me chuckle...... :lol

[Hugh Mungus]

When I'm stuck in a queue of cars doing 35 in a 60 limit I'm usually thing "Who is the cunt at the front?"

[celticdog]

A trip to the Zoo is always educational for children

[Grahamm]

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted.' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!'"

[tommyardin]

Hey Grahamm,
Love the above joke very, very funny  :lol 


Not so sure about Gorilla Muff  :eek

[Nemesis]

I go to sea cod every Friday, usually within chips peas white bread and a pot of tea, its a long prawned out process, as for the shark thats how I ride, cos I bite back at carp car drivers :rollin

[Nemesis]

Filtering thru 2 miles of traffic :lol

[YamFazFan]

[quote author=YamFazFan link=topic=17550.msg268986#msg268986 date=1506681608]
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek
[/quote]


:lol I actually did LOL for real at that! :lol

[YamFazFan]

Danny Baker's Saturday morning show on Radio 5.

The only phone-in show where I actually want to hear peoples stories:lol

[Wharfe]

Riding home from work of an evening up the M606 into Bradford and then round the ringroad, without fail meeting some bellend in (usually) a BMW who spots me and takes my presence on a bike as incentive to then drive like a  tw*t, floor it and razz past me at 90+ looking all smug. Which is fine pal, my ego really won't suffer...but you ARE forgetting that I can filter and you can't. See ya.....

[maddog04]

yup, filtering

makes me piss my pants as all the goons who've cut me up/undertook me/flew past me....then grind to a halt


see ya mofo's :lol

[celticdog]

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'