An old flame phoned

[lew600fazer]

[size=1.35em]The Old Flame.
[/size][size=1.35em]  [/size]
[size=1.35em]I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning rang 'out-of-the-blue' [/size][size=1.35em]to see if I was still around. [/size][size=1.35em]  [/size][size=1.35em] We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. [/size][size=1.35em]I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling [/size][size=1.35em]a little of that "old magic". [/size]

[size=1.35em]"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. [/size][size=1.35em]"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have." [/size]

[size=1.35em]She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge". [/size]

[size=1.35em]"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone... everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"[/size]
[size=1.35em]She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. [/size][size=1.35em]She teased me - saying that tubby, grey-haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
[/size][size=1.35em] 
[/size][size=1.35em]The​n she giggled and said, "Anyway, I've put on a few pounds myself!"
[/size][size=1.35em]  [/size]

[size=1.35em]So I told her to bugger off.[/size]



Borrowed from elsewhere

[paul1606]

ahhh that reminded me years ago i had a new girlfriend 2nd date sat in babysitting my younger brother,ex girlfriend contacted me to "go out for a drink for old times sake".........Left the new one babysitting while i nipped out for a drink with the ex 


The new one could of been a mad axe murderer for all i knew lol oh to be young & stupid again

[lew600fazer]

My Mrs said to me yesterday. What happened love I can remember you when what you now have round your middle used to be up by your chest. I felt a bit annoyed by that so I asked her what about me buns. She just looked at me ever so sweetly and said you always where a tight ass.  :eek

[Oldgit]

this couples love life was getting a bit boring, so the guys wife goes out and buys some sexy gear, she is sitting on the couch crossing and uncrossing her legs and her hubbys says "Is that crotchess nickers your wearing" his wife says "Why yesss darling" he says "thank christ for that, I thought you were sitting on the cat" 

[Deefer666]

A guy comes home from work and as he goes to open the the front door it is flung open to the sight of his wife of 10 years wearing a dressing gown which she flings open to reveal a peep hole bra and a pair of edible panties, she leaps on him and shouts "SUPER PUSSY!!!!!"

The guy tiredly pushes her off and says "What kind of soup?"  :rollin :rollin :rollin