What do people usually say?

[YamFazFan]

Whenever you mislay your car/bike keys the 1st question is usually..'where did you last have them/see them?'..well if I knew that..... :rolleyes

[hotmetal]

When I was a kid rellies would always say "my, haven't you grown?!" Er, yeah, that's what we do you know. Trouble is, they still say it now I'm 45, just outward not upward LOL fat foccer (ish).

[ChristoT]

When I tell people I'm an Aerospace engineer:
"Wow, you must be really intelligent" / "Isn't that really hard?" (The answer: "no I / it ain't. But I'm still crap at it." worries 'em  )

Followed shortly by:
"Can you please fix this?" Generally pointing at something bloody simple that requires 2 minutes with a screwdriver. Or a car.  :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes

[hotmetal]

My dad is a clever foccer with a PhD in electronics or something. Whenever he gets introduced to people at parties as Dr they always start telling him about their aches and pains.