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Down the pub - the thread about nothing and everything

Husband:
My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and has not come home...


Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?


Husband:
I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?


Sergeant:
Weight?


Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.


Sergeant:
Color of eyes?


Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.


Sergeant:
Color of hair?


Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.


Sergeant:
What was she wearing?


Husband:
Could have been jeans, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.


Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?


Husband:
She actually went on my motorbike...


Sergeant:
What kind of bike was it?


Husband:
It was my brand new Red Honda Fireblade CBR1000RR 2019 YM Bore × Stroke  (mm) 76 x 55 Carburation PGM-DSFI Compression Ratio 0.5423611111111112  C02 Emissions (g/km) 132 Engine Displacement (cc) 999cc Engine Type  (cm³) Liquid-cooled 4-stroke 16-valve DOHC Inline-4 Max. Power Output  141kW/13,000rpm Max. Torque 114Nm/11,000rpm Oil Capacity (Litres) 3.4 L  Starter Electric Wheels Suspension Front Telescopic inverted fork with  an inner tube diameter of 43 mm, and a Big Piston Front Fork with  preload, compression and rebound adjustment, 120mm stroke Suspension  Rear Unit Pro-Link with gas-charged HMAS damper featuring 10-step  preload and stepless compression and rebound damping adjustment, 138.2mm  stroke. Rear Balance Free Rear Cushion with preload, compression and  rebound adjustment, 62mm stroke. Tyres Front 120/70ZR17 58W Tyre Size  Rear 190/50ZR17 73W Wheels Front 17 inch Wheels Rear 17 inch Dimensions  and Weights Battery Capacity (VAh) 12V-7AH(Li-ion) Caster Angle 23°20’  Dimensions (L×W×H) (mm) 2,065mm x 720mm x 1125mm Frame type Diamond;  aluminium composite twin spar Fuel Tank Capacity (Litres) 16L Ground  Clearance (mm) 130mm Kerb Weight (kg) 196kg Seat Height (mm) 832mm Trail  (mm) 96mm Wheelbase (mm) 1405mm Transmission Clutch Wet, multiplate  with diaphragm spring with assist slipper Final Drive Chain Gearbox  6-speed Instruments and Electrics Headlight LED Instruments TFT-LCD Tail  Light LED (sobbing).


Sergeant:
Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike.
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Re: Down the pub - the thread about nothing and everything - by mtread - 30-08-19, 12:24 AM

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