I’d always had funny feelings about my sister, that somehow, she wasn’t quite right, but nothing really too bad ever happened – she was just really difficult at times.
Then eventually as times moves on my parents got older, frailer and both began to suffer from dementia. I live in the same town as them, so I did everything I could to look after them, my life revolved around them. My sister lived some 25 miles away.
But my sister, who is extremely plausible and can be very charming, who also happens to work in the nhs as well as being married to a church minister (ex-solicitor who was happy to help her with the shit stirring) did everything she could to undermine my care of my parents.
She almost drove me to a nervous breakdown. The manipulation and lies just kept coming and never stopped. And whilst I was in the thick of it – looking after my parents – I didn’t have time to deal with her whilst looking after my parents. Further I couldn’t see the wood for the trees, and frankly was like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
Eventually with one parent having passed away and the other in care (massive fight to get the right care home etc) I started reading books on psychology. Getting an understanding of how some people function, and realising that those with certain types of behaviour will most probably never change was a turning point for me.
Even though my mother died a year ago now, so both parents have now passed, it still continues to a degree. Trying to settle the estate is a nightmare as we are both executors. The crazy thing is that no matter how many times she gets caught out, how often she makes a complete and utter fool of herself, she just keeps coming back for more. But eventually it will be over for me, I can cut her completely from my life.
It’s difficult from just a few internet posts, two sides to a story and all that, but;
You’ve recognised you are being bullied and controlled, and further it’s taking it’s toll on your health. The hard bit is obviously that there are young kids involved. It’s a completely different situation from mine. You do appear to be in a situation that cannot continue as it is.
First step, yup stash the bike somewhere safe. You'll get back on it in the near future
Then eventually as times moves on my parents got older, frailer and both began to suffer from dementia. I live in the same town as them, so I did everything I could to look after them, my life revolved around them. My sister lived some 25 miles away.
But my sister, who is extremely plausible and can be very charming, who also happens to work in the nhs as well as being married to a church minister (ex-solicitor who was happy to help her with the shit stirring) did everything she could to undermine my care of my parents.
She almost drove me to a nervous breakdown. The manipulation and lies just kept coming and never stopped. And whilst I was in the thick of it – looking after my parents – I didn’t have time to deal with her whilst looking after my parents. Further I couldn’t see the wood for the trees, and frankly was like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
Eventually with one parent having passed away and the other in care (massive fight to get the right care home etc) I started reading books on psychology. Getting an understanding of how some people function, and realising that those with certain types of behaviour will most probably never change was a turning point for me.
Even though my mother died a year ago now, so both parents have now passed, it still continues to a degree. Trying to settle the estate is a nightmare as we are both executors. The crazy thing is that no matter how many times she gets caught out, how often she makes a complete and utter fool of herself, she just keeps coming back for more. But eventually it will be over for me, I can cut her completely from my life.
It’s difficult from just a few internet posts, two sides to a story and all that, but;
You’ve recognised you are being bullied and controlled, and further it’s taking it’s toll on your health. The hard bit is obviously that there are young kids involved. It’s a completely different situation from mine. You do appear to be in a situation that cannot continue as it is.
First step, yup stash the bike somewhere safe. You'll get back on it in the near future