Made me laugh

[tommyardin]

Another school story copied from elsewhere. Amend football teams as appropriate 


A Primary Teacher in Swansea explains to her class that she is a Swansea fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Swansea fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a Swansea fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Swansea fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Cardiff City fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Cardiff City fan?' 'Because my mum is a Cardiff City fan, and my dad is a Cardiff City fan, so I'm a Cardiff City fan too!''Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Cardiff City fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?' 'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Swansea fan.'

A science teacher addresses his class and says today children we are going to look at Natural Science, in particular the whale. Now children, most people think that a whale is a fish but it certainly is not, it is a mammal.


The whale is a filter feeder and it can eat nothing larger than a mans thumb, at this point little Jenny shoves her hand up in the air and says in aloud voice 'Please sir' the teacher replies yes 'Jenny what is it' 'Well my Sunday School teacher told me that Jonah was swallowed by a whale' The teacher said that is is an impossibility that a whale could swallow a person and that it was just a child's story.


Jenny quite sadly said 'but my Mum and Daddy also said that about Jonah so it must be true'. the teacher said in a condescending way again 'Jenny they are just children's stories, they are not true'


Jenny now quite upset that the teacher appeared to be ridiculing her in front of the class said 'I read in the Bible about Jonah, it tells the whole story' The teacher replied 'Bible stories are not true they are just myths and very old fashioned and that no one believes stories like that anymore' Jenny now in tears said 'When I go to Heaven I will ask Jonah' The teacher smugly 'replied what if Jonah went to Hell' Jenny quickly replied 'Then you ask him'    :lol