accident claim?

[Skippernick]

I got one of those calls only this morning  from Punjab Pete asking if I had had an accident, looks like that is what has happened here and the chap has said "as it happens yes" so they then take it from there saying they don't have to do anything and just sit back a wait for the money.
The chap maybe even tried to tell them he wasn't injured but once they have there hooks in. It will all backfire on the bloke because from now on his number will be passed arround and he will be plagued by calls.

I jus kept saying "hello" until he hung up, but next time I am going to let rip, any ideas on insults ?   

I like the one where you pretend to be a cop investigating the very recent murder of the owner of the phone,  and that you would like to know why they are calling the deceased and would like there details so that you can come round to take a statement.