Ethernet question

[Buzz]

I tried a spliter to go from 1 of the ports and then plug two devices in to that, and yes that is right it dont work

As long as your switch has got a autosensing port or an uplink port then you can plug a router/modem in and it will work.

i have to get under the cupboard thread the one i want up - yank out the router carrying all other cables with it and swap.

That's madness, surely!

I dont want anything else plugged in the mains so a hub or switch is no good for me.
I dont like wifi.
All cables are hidden as i dont like them either.

You sound like you need some Homeplugs, I know that's another plug but they'll give you wired networking all over your house