Making a Pig's Ear Out of Booking Mother's Day Lunch

[mr self destruct]

Got to agree with locksmith here, nothing will surprise her more than you & the kids cooking for her and you'll be mr golden bollocks for ages. 


Doesn't have to be a roast or anything fancy like that, a simple starter-main-dessert will do.


Starter: Prawn cocktail.
Get a packet of prawns, chop up some lettuce, mix 1 dessert spoon of tomato sauce with 4 spoons of mayonnaise, mix in the prawns, stick the lettuce in the bowls and put the prawns on top, maybe sprinkle a bit of paprika on if you have it. Couple of rounds of bread. Done.


Main: Seafood risotto.
Buy a steamer, a Seafood Selection (mixed fish, mussels, haddock bits etc.) bag from ASDA, a bag of Arborio rice, white sauce and a bottle of white wine.
Steam the fish and boil the rice, when the rice is done drain the water away. When the fish is done pour the water into a jug, add the white sauce and make a runny paste.
Stick it back in with the rice, add a splash of the wine, add the fish bits, add a bit of garlic (sauce, powder or fresh is ok), add a bit of mixed herbs from those little jars your mrs definitely has knocking about in the kitchen somewhere, mix it all up in the saucepan.
Pour out into bowls, sprinkle a bit of parmesan cheese on top and serve.


Dessert: Cheesecake.
Buy cheesecake, take out of box, put on a plate, serve.


Easy, only uses two saucepans and two hobs, and creates a shitload of washing up your kids can score brownie points by doing.