"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. ”
- Oscar Wilde
Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- Murphy
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. ”
- Albert Einstein
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
- Mark Twain
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- George Burns
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
- Peter Kay
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- Peter Kay
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- Peter Kay
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
[color=rgb(102, 102, 102)]says I may well look like I've been beaten with an ugly stick, but you look like you were gang raped by the entire forest!![/color]
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. ”
- Oscar Wilde
Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- Murphy
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. ”
- Albert Einstein
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
- Mark Twain
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- George Burns
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
- Peter Kay
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- Peter Kay
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- Peter Kay
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
[color=rgb(102, 102, 102)]says I may well look like I've been beaten with an ugly stick, but you look like you were gang raped by the entire forest!![/color]
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"