07-04-13, 07:55 PM
How can I get Nigel Slater to marry me?
He's not in his usual spot in the observer today and I feel lost.
I can only deduce that I must stalk him and have him be my beau.
Indeed I risk injunctions and the like but spunking over the life size canvas print on my wall just isn't enough any more.
I am empty without him and sensual description of chips and halibut. His extolling of the virtues of crunchy nuts in a bean and chorizo stew. His magnificent verbalising of sweetcorn fritters on a beach in Manky-on-sea. All I have is self loathing and misplaced longing scaling down my soul like an overcooked chowder
I must have him.
Please help
He's not in his usual spot in the observer today and I feel lost.
I can only deduce that I must stalk him and have him be my beau.
Indeed I risk injunctions and the like but spunking over the life size canvas print on my wall just isn't enough any more.
I am empty without him and sensual description of chips and halibut. His extolling of the virtues of crunchy nuts in a bean and chorizo stew. His magnificent verbalising of sweetcorn fritters on a beach in Manky-on-sea. All I have is self loathing and misplaced longing scaling down my soul like an overcooked chowder
I must have him.
Please help
Smell ones mother. Yaas!