Down the pub - the thread about nothing and everything

[Grahamm]

:rollin

[Grahamm]

:lol

[Grahamm]

:rolleyes

[fazerscotty]

:rolleyes

:lol :lol :lol :lol

[Grahamm]

:eek

[Grahamm]

What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?

Ian.

[Grahamm]

:eek

[Grahamm]

So, this morning I get disturbed by some clunking and clanking noises outside my house.

"Oh, great, someone's getting scaffolding put up..." I think

I hear a few more thumps.

"Terrific, sounds like it's next door."

Then I hear another thud...

"Hang on, that sounded like it was right outside my bedroom window!"

So I open the curtain to see a bloke with a ladder and a scaffolding pole standing on the top of my downstairs bay window!!

I knock on my window (didn't want him falling off in surprise), then open it and ask "Err, what are you doing?"

"Putting up your scaffolding, mate."

"Umm, what address are you supposed to be at?"

"52"

"Well, this is my house and I haven't ordered any f*****g scaffolding!"

He gets out his phone, and calls someone: "What address did you say? 72? You told us 52!"

He turns to me "Thanks, you saved us a job..."

:rolleyes

[Grahamm]

Forget the football – Mark Cavendish is this week's real story of sporting redemption

Cavendish has not just made his way back into the race and taken the green jersey awarded to the rider who secures the most points, but now stands on the brink of securing the all-time record of stage victories, which the Belgian cycling great Eddy Mercx has held for nearly half a century (and most presumed would for eternity).

On Friday afternoon Cavendish, who is married to former Page 3 girl and glamour model Peta Todd and a father-of-four, roared over the finish line to equal Mercx's record of 34 stage wins. He now has to win just one more stage to surpass it before the race finishes on the Champs-Elysees on July 18.

:thumbup

[Grahamm]

Don't start any arguments, this is just humour, ok...?!

[Grahamm]

:rolleyes

[Grahamm]

In the news: A man was shot 200 times yesterday with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.

[Grahamm]

"My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet to lose some fat."

"Did it work?"

"Yes, it made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean..."

[Grahamm]

"I'm starting a new business making glass coffins."

"Do you think it will be popular?"

"Remains to be seen..."

[Captain Haddock]

I went to a coastal restaurant and tried the seaweed earlier, it's crap! Made the skins go soggy and wouldn't light.

[Grahamm]

:eek

[Grahamm]

The Dictator of a small country was known for playing the trombone.

A group of revolutionaries said that, when they take power, he'll be the first against the waa-waa-waa-wall.

[Grahamm]

[Grahamm]

Sir Clive Sinclair, creator of the pocket calculator and the first affordable home computer dies aged 81

I never had a ZX 81 or Speccy, but he did a hell of a lot to bring computing to the masses :thumbup

[Dudeofrude]

My first ever games console was a ZX Spectrum ??
Before moving on to a commodore 64 then Sega Master system.
It's truly amazing how far it's all come especially when comparing to my current PS5.

To think theres probably more computing power in a modern motorbike than was used to launch the moon misson ?