Today's "what got your chuckle on"

[fazerscotty]

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[NorthWestern]

Crossing Warrington on the bike while the cars are gridlocked

[Frosties]

Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol 

[slappy]

Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol

In the present climate you will probably find yourself in court for sexual harassment.

[stet]

oops!

[YamFazFan]

When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??

[tommyardin]

Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol

Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes

[darrsi]

When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??

Could have a faulty gauge, and the plane is suffering carb icing.
Personally i'd be putting my parachute on though 'cos either way it's a serious brown trouser moment.  :lol

[Frosties]

[quote author=Frosties link=topic=17550.msg271619#msg271619 date=1511550803]
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol

Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes
[/quote]


I can't lie Tommy - had a few do that over the summer especially. You need to time it right  :lol