any gardeners out there

[CRH]

Earlier this week,the police informed the public  that a ...spade...had been found in connection with the incident!!!!!....and yesterday a eyewitness came forward stating he can identify the culprit??.....local buisiness man and land owner...old mcdonald..who used to own a nearby farm""(AKA)...e,eye..e,eye...hoe!!....was taken to diggernam police station to hopefully identify from a line up!!....several spades appeared in the line up,,and this appeared to confuse mr mcdonald..(specialy as one spade looks like another)!!!!!!!!.....this got even more confusing for the poor old fella when a frustrated policeman told him to hurry up and take his>>>>>>>>PICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....the case continues>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Pat]

Police announced today that the G4S van had been held up on a dual-cabbage way by a couple of Swedes carrying pea-shooters & the suspect released,  currently they have no leads, but are sure something will turnip.  The spokesman went on to say "We know that the criminal undergrowth can't keep oat a secret for long & should anything leek onto their grapevine one of our grasses will no-doubt spill the beans"

[DryRob]

 

[DILLIGAFF]

Paul is concerned after vandals left patches of bare earth on his allotment. He is hoping somebody will grass them up.

[Hodge]

The local community said "weed like to help but he wont lettuce".

[Looney tune]

Hoe hoe hoe......................... Hope this doesn't go on forever. But suppose others will be saying lawn may it continue.

[DryRob]

Apparently special branch are getting involved in the hold up and have assured the escapee that, "he will be berry sorry when we catch him as he faces the full weight of the loam"

[Hodge]

Apparently the case has become a little bogged down with the suspect believed to be a (re)peat offender.