Author Topic: Embarassing things I have done (Read 5803 times)

lew600fazer · « **on:** 29 December 2014, 06:14:06 pm »

This is about when a dealer lends you a courtesy bike.

When I had my Z1000SX in for servicing they lent me a Versy 1000 , great bike bags of go in it.
The next time it was having some warranty work done again then lent me a Versy, I rode it up the road went round a round about and took it back to them. This is crap I says, whats up with it? sounds and feels as if it is off a cylinder no go in it. He then mentioned the fact it was the 650 twin they had let me have. Fecking red face or what.

Another one was, I fancied a run on a Suzuki 700 something or other a 4 cylinder thing anyway.

He wheeled it out of the showroom started it up for me and away I go, take your time he says just bring her back when you feel like it. Headed up to the Ponderosa in North Wales. Stops for a brew. Gets back on will not start, funny everything seemed alright. Gave them a ring asks if they ever had any bother with the bike, no they say, stay on the phone and talk me through what appears on the console etc!, okay he says I can hear it doing the initaial checks, now pull the clutch in, press the starter, fecking thing started. Red face time again I did not know it is a Suzuki thing.
Glad I did not call for recovery

stevierst · « **Reply #1 on:** 29 December 2014, 08:17:19 pm »

We've all done it............ Haven't we?

highlander · « **Reply #2 on:** 29 December 2014, 08:26:01 pm »

After working in a car garage for a couple of decades, I have heard the embarrassed pause from many customers when they find out that the carpet mat has tucked up under the clutch pedal & it starts immediately after. This, however, soon turns to pleasure when they at least know that they are not stuck.
Foolishness through a lack of knowledge is temporary, stupidity in some people lasts forever. these are the ones to look out for.

Grahamm · « **Reply #3 on:** 29 December 2014, 08:49:09 pm »

Quote from: lew600fazer on 29 December 2014, 06:14:06 pm

pull the clutch in, press the starter, fecking thing started. Red face time again I did not know it is a Suzuki thing.

Hmm, I was always taught to dip the clutch on starting, whether it was a car or a bike because it stops it trying to take off if you accidentally leave it in gear (or the "in gear" kill switch isn't working) and puts less load on the starter.

NorthWestern · « **Reply #4 on:** 29 December 2014, 08:53:54 pm »

Doing event security I once spent 30 mins directing folk down a corridor to the toilets. It had a self closing set of doors halfway down. Turns out it just led outside, people were having to argue with the guys on the door to get back in to see "Prince"...

dazza · « **Reply #5 on:** 29 December 2014, 09:35:22 pm »

I once went to look at a little tdi polo on a forecourt and the salesman handed me the keys and let me crack on.
After having a good old look over it, boot, under the bonnet, drivers position etc I thought I would get in the back to check out the leg room for passengers.
Yep, you've guessed it, went to open the door and the foccing child locks are on.
So, now I'm stuck in the back off this little car looking around for the salesman....Nowhere to be seen.
I make the decision that my only way out is to climb into the front.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, it wasn't the most graceful and dignified manoeuvre which resulted in me ending up upside down, head in the passenger foot well and feet stuck between the seats.
Anyway, I didn't realise my trousers had come down and timing couldn't have been worse when the salesman came back with two nuns that also wanted to view the car.

OK, so I may have made that last bit up.

slappy · « **Reply #6 on:** 29 December 2014, 10:15:19 pm »

Many years ago I had just serviced my RD250 at my girlfriends house. Afterwards no matter what I did I could not get it to run. I ended up pushing to my house 7 miles away and dumping it in the garage. Next day I had another look and found that I had managed to fit the air filter the wrong way round and completely blocked off the air supply.

lew600fazer · « **Reply #7 on:** 29 December 2014, 10:50:28 pm »

I had a hair dressers sports car for a while Merc 230 SLK, bought it for the wife but she did not like it so I ran it for a couple of years. The roof used to act up now and then sticky micro switch You know the one the roof opens and folds into the boot. You need diagnostics to indicate which one is not making and breaking.
Anyway there is a shelf in the boot which you put into position so as you do not overload the boot with lugauge. I was selling the car and decided to get it checked out properly. As in all things Merc ££££. Sorted up down , up down great. The guy that comes to view the car looks it over we go for a test run dead impressed he is. Is the roof operating okay? yea no bother , tests it, feck all. I am livid , he rightly so is now not that impressed. I says I have just had this looked at, come with me, we go flying off to the garage, me in a rage, screeches to a halt half drags out the mechanic and goes off on one. He says pop the boot, pulls the shelf out and puts it in place(it is a bit like a roller blind )try that now roof opens , roof closes , roof opens , roof closes. One of those moments when you want the earth to open up and swallow you whole. Thankfully the guy buys the car.

When we moved out to Spain my Mrs says to me I wish you had kept that SLK , it would have been ideal as run about for me out here now. As you can imagine I said , never mind sweetheart. It was sold at her insistance I actually enjoyed driving it when you floored it it went like a bat out of hell and the handling was great.

YamFazFan · « **Reply #8 on:** 02 January 2015, 06:59:01 pm »

Quote from: slappy on 29 December 2014, 10:15:19 pm

Many years ago I had just serviced my RD250 at my girlfriends house. Afterwards no matter what I did I could not get it to run. I ended up pushing to my house 7 miles away and dumping it in the garage. Next day I had another look and found that I had managed to fit the air filter the wrong way round and completely blocked off the air supply.

I suffered a self-inflicted airbox embarrassment years ago as well.Imagine what a twit I felt when I went to pick my bike up from the garage & saw item 2 (brackets)

.....

fazersharp · « **Reply #9 on:** 02 January 2015, 07:44:41 pm »

Parked up in town outside an insurance brokers -big window, all the women in the office looking at me in my leathers (obviously my helmet was still on ) puts the bike on the side stand --------------- only I hadn't put it out yet and down I went just like delboy leaning on the non existant bar.
Not embarrassing though as I have no shame

cherokee · « **Reply #10 on:** 03 January 2015, 09:37:57 am »

A long time ago (1970's), pulled up at traffic lights on my CB175. Didn't know the lace from my trainers (yeah I know!) was caught round the gear lever. Tried to put my foot down and went over like a sack of spuds, bloke in car behind crying with laughter!! Happy days.

Fazafou · « **Reply #11 on:** 03 January 2015, 09:43:46 am »

I was on a GS500E in the early 90s and thought I looked cool with my first tinted visor on. Was checking out some girls instead of paying attention and ran into the back of a car that has stopped for a milk float.

Was only going about 10 mph as I hit but still had a sore pair of spuds for a few days.

fazersharp · « **Reply #12 on:** 03 January 2015, 10:30:02 am »

Quote

I was on a GS500E

I had one of those in 1999

darrsi · « **Reply #13 on:** 03 January 2015, 12:22:05 pm »

Has anyone ever unwittingly tried walking over a tarpaulin that was covering a pond in a friends garden at a party??

Anyone?

Oh......just me then......early hours of New Years Day on Thursday.

Totally filled one boot up with pond water before i scrambled out of it. I promise you, i really wasn't expecting it at all.

Kosmic Kartman · « **Reply #14 on:** 03 January 2015, 01:20:50 pm »

Years ago I was with a design agency producing prestigious property details for large London office developments. We had a client that was always on the phone chasing stuff. I mean he'd fax over changes and five minutes later he'd be on the phone asking to see them and demanding why they hadn't been done yet... Like he was our only client. He'd phone like every 10 - 15 minutes.

One day he phoned and I put the phone on hold and hit the roof. I mean I called him every name under the sun, I was stomping around the studio screaming at the top of my voice, even Ed my studio manager was laughing. I then passed the call through to Ed to speak to the client. Big oooops! the wasn't on hold and he'd heard every word. I could hear my boss trying to give our apologies over the phone. This went on for about five minutes and in the end I heard him say to the client "LOOK JUST FUCK OFF" and slammed to phone down. Suffice to say he took his work elsewhere and a round of applause and cheers resounded around the studio.

taylor · « **Reply #15 on:** 03 January 2015, 10:02:13 pm »

darrsi, i was at a garden centre years ago when I heard kid in the pool, my nephew with me tried to walk over the rolled up pool cover. this bloke came running out of the showroom in his nice suit and jumped in the pool lol. I walked away crying with laughter he was about 12 then.

lew600fazer · « **Reply #16 on:** 03 January 2015, 10:35:01 pm »

My wife and I plus the wee fella were walking around MFI(remember them)My son must have been about 4 at the time. We were in the bathroom display section and we lost sight of Sean for all of 30 seconds. I went looking for him and bless him there he is sitting on a toilet having a dump, paper work quickly done and hurried moved onto the next display.

Kosmic Kartman · « **Reply #17 on:** 03 January 2015, 10:47:06 pm »

Quote from: lew600fazer on 03 January 2015, 10:35:01 pm

My wife and I plus the wee fella were walking around MFI(remember them)My son must have been about 4 at the time. We were in the bathroom display section and we lost sight of Sean for all of 30 seconds. I went looking for him and bless him there he is sitting on a toilet having a dump, paper work quickly done and hurried moved onto the next display.

taylor · « **Reply #18 on:** 03 January 2015, 11:08:12 pm »

taylor · « **Reply #19 on:** 03 January 2015, 11:15:22 pm »

sausage roll anyone.

darrsi · « **Reply #20 on:** 04 January 2015, 11:14:23 am »

Quote from: lew600fazer on 03 January 2015, 10:35:01 pm

My wife and I plus the wee fella were walking around MFI(remember them)My son must have been about 4 at the time. We were in the bathroom display section and we lost sight of Sean for all of 30 seconds. I went looking for him and bless him there he is sitting on a toilet having a dump, paper work quickly done and hurried moved onto the next display.

You just reminded me of something from a long time ago when i was a kid.
We had a large brick shed/garage, just big enough to fit a Mini car in basically, and back in the day the doors were a bit worse for wear so were basically just left open which wasn't really a major thing back then.
I looked out of the kitchen window and asked mum who the old woman was in the garage?
Anyway, dad went out and gently asked her what she was doing and she said "I live here."
After 10 minutes of wondering what to do they eventually called the police as she was obviously a bit confused and they picked her up then found out she was from an old peoples home a few roads away.
But we had a new toilet stored in the garage, waiting to be fitted in our house, and she had also left the most massive dump in it you could ever imagine.
It was like she hadn't been to the toilet for weeks.

lew600fazer · « **Reply #21 on:** 04 January 2015, 01:58:28 pm »

This was a while ago I first posted it on the SX forum, still makes me smile when I think back on it.

We have just had this new chief engineer joined the ship yesterday in Japan. He is from Glasgow and his sense of humour is just what this tired old ship needs.
He bent down to look at a gland on a pump and being rather on the large size , he squatted down to get a better look, he let one go. A puzzled look came on his face and he says there are two things that should not contain liquids (1) superheated steam and (2) A Fart, with that he waddled off to change. Ten minutes later he is back, mumbling away, I says whats up , he says fecking sushi. :008:

Sorry but at this stage of my trip I thought it hilarious.
Lew.

kitcrazy · « **Reply #22 on:** 04 January 2015, 04:33:48 pm »

bought a harley

lew600fazer · « **Reply #23 on:** 04 January 2015, 05:28:56 pm »

Quote from: kitcrazy on 04 January 2015, 04:33:48 pm

bought a harley

Robbie8666 · « **Reply #24 on:** 05 January 2015, 03:31:21 pm »

Mrs R rang me Christmas eve asking for AA number as her car wouldn't start. she'd been to hospital for an appointment & left her mother in car listening to radio when she came back car wouldn't start using start button, in fact it was dead!
i couldn't understand it as was only new battery in august. i texted her AA number then got a message back. she had put keys on dashboard & not put fob into socket!! glad she didn't call AA out before checking!!