What do people usually say?

[Razgruff]

when asked what I do
I reply  "I dig holes".

subject moves on, nobody seems interested in holes 

[Farjo]

Not even a "Well , well, well?"

[richfzs]

By all that's holy, frazer, is that the best you could do?

[Farjo]

Yes And I don't see you coming up with anything better

[alan sherman]

Cycle.  Do you wear a helmet?

Who gives a shit whether I do or don't.  Really?

[stevierst]

When I was in the Army and home on leave and I saw friends/family, one of the first things they say is "when are you going back?" Charming!

Standing there in my leathers, wearing my helmet whilst paying for petrol, and the only bike on the courtyard. cashier looks across at the pumps and asks "which one is yours?"

And these people are allowed to be out on their own......;D

[Farjo]

Cycle.  Do you wear a helmet?

Who gives a shit whether I do or don't.  Really?

Apparently some people shout out of cars "Where's your helmet?" At cyclists. Have you ever  had that?

[Looney tune]

When I say ' Gamekeeper ' I get, cruel bastid, murderer etc. If I give it another angle and say Wildlife management I get , interesting, great job etc. One day people will see we don't walk about all day with a shotgun and dog at our side.

[locksmith]

When I give em the bill

HOW MUCH ?

 

[Kosmic Kartman]

When I go for a curry and ask for a chicken Phall 

"Oh Sir dat is velly velly hot curry Sir"

Er Yes... That's why I ordered it.

[BIG MAC]

'Will you shut the feck up about independence' seems fairly common these days

[Oldgit]

in the west of Scotland shop assistants always say "Is that you" there way of asking if you have finished ordering or such.----Crazy

[bigralphie]

When i tell people I am a technical manager for an electronics retailer
 
Oh you into computers and gadgets then.....No Im into motorbikes
Oh I thought you would have to be.....No I know a lot about them but I,m into motorbikes   

[darrsi]

when asked what I do
I reply  "I dig holes".

subject moves on, nobody seems interested in holes 

What sort of depth are we talking about?
I met a Channel Tunnel worker years ago.......

[pete786.u]

I met a mate of mine one day and he asked if I was still working nightshift and when I said yes his Mrs` said "Oh that must be good as you have all day to do what you want" to which my mate replied "You stupid foccin woman, when do you think he sleeps" She still didn`t get it.

[YamFazFan]

Whenever you mislay your car/bike keys the 1st question is usually..'where did you last have them/see them?'..well if I knew that.....

[hotmetal]

When I was a kid rellies would always say "my, haven't you grown?!" Er, yeah, that's what we do you know. Trouble is, they still say it now I'm 45, just outward not upward LOL fat foccer (ish).

[ChristoT]

When I tell people I'm an Aerospace engineer:
"Wow, you must be really intelligent" / "Isn't that really hard?" (The answer: "no I / it ain't. But I'm still crap at it." worries 'em  )

Followed shortly by:
"Can you please fix this?" Generally pointing at something bloody simple that requires 2 minutes with a screwdriver. Or a car. 

[hotmetal]

My dad is a clever foccer with a PhD in electronics or something. Whenever he gets introduced to people at parties as Dr they always start telling him about their aches and pains.