Positron-I am reading the continuing saga/drama of this thread and ,without meaning to patronise you, you remind me very much of the way I was as a youngster(I was once!).
Salient points;
You need your bike on the road to commute(presumably to work?)
You dont have a lot of time/knowledge/many tools
You say youre heavy handed with limited attention span.
As "noggy" says....Slow down,take a deep breath.
We all need help from others-hence this fantastic forum with all the knowledge it has to offer (often gained by bitter experience!)
Thoughts for consideration:
I suggest you must have some attention span in order to ride a bike/pass a test-Dont sell yourself short!
Have you got any friends with bike knowledge local to you?
Do you have a copy of the manual for your bike(download from forum)/Haynes manual?
Looks like you are trying to do all the service/maintenance jobs but while trying to save money/learn about your bike-you are maybe rushing at things which is causing you unnecessary pain/expense.
Slowly build up a kit of tools that you will actually use-as "unfazed" says-you will only need certain sizes of sockets/spanners.
Dont start a job that you cant finish before needing bike to ride again-sounds obvious but talking from experience.
For safety critical jobs like brakes if you dont have the knowledge yet-get a wise friend or a trusty dealer.
its taken some of us years to learn how to do things without "foccing" them up & sometimes I still do!
Above all relax & "Give Time Time "
Good luck