old - Fazer Owners Club - old
General => General => Topic started by: paul1606 on 19 July 2012, 08:53:58 pm
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I went to my allotment last week and found someone has covered it with 2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2 inches of soil.........The plot thickens!
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That joke has grown on me
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I hope you get to the root of the problem
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I went to my allotment last week and found someone has covered it with 2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2 inches of soil.........The plot thickens!
.....quick update!!!.....police are looking for 2 suspects in this case?...one is described has 6ft tall of slim build,..the other 5ft tall and rather plump!!......a spokes person today said ...police are still....looking "high and low" for them?......... :rolleyes
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I caught my little girl eating a slug the other night, "eugh" "what did that taste like?" I said. "worms!" was her reply ... I'll get my coat. :rollin
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I went to my allotment last week and found someone has covered it with 2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2 inches of soil.........The plot thickens!
.....quick update!!!.....police are looking for 2 suspects in this case?...one is described has 6ft tall of slim build,..the other 5ft tall and rather plump!!......a spokes person today said ...police are still....looking "high and low" for them?......... :rolleyes
Obviously they haven't got mulch to go on.....
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oh leaf it out, will ?
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earlier tonight it was reported that the police hadnt got ..mulch..to go on in regards to catching the culprits!!...but they have since named a suspect...who they believe ...plotted the crime as....DUG McGRASSUP...police have warned the public not to approach him as he can be a bit of a ...sod!!!!!!! :rolleyes
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I've just soiled my pants laughing..........
.........No, honest, I've shit myself
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:groan to all the above :D
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:lol
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At my allotment someone had dug a big hole...................police are looking into it.
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NEWS FLASH...........................Police have arrested an Irish topsoil thief at a local allotment. They suspect him of trying to bury the evidence.
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some of these jokes are truly groundbreaking
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:rollin :rollin :rollin
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NEWS UPDATE!!!.....police today confirmed that suspect...dug mcgrassup..was spotted in a greenhouse disguised as a ...flower pot man"..holding?"what police described as a ...sieve?..in front of his face!!....as police said?...obviously trying to ...riddle his way out of it?!!!!!!!.....
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keep them coming guys.......im making Christmas Crackers this year and need the input for the jokes :lol :lol
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NEWS FLASH!!!!!....police cuntstuble victoria dandylion of north..ants police ( VD) to her caulys"...yes i know what you all thinking??...poxed int it?..but couldnt think of owt else!!!!!.......said that McGrassup was tracked down to a laxative factory near to his last address!...but was still on the run tonight!!!!!!! :rolleyes .....but she did vowel"..that (no stone would be left unturned)...till McGrassup was apprehandled!!.....his former ( best slate) and brother- in-lawn" ...Angus McCoatup (a farmer taylor from diggernam) said?.....that his in-lawn was a privit sort of chap"...who never had a "pot to piss in"until he took up gardening and broke into that greenhouse!!!!!!!!!!!! :\ .............
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Police have found the spade involved in this incident. The spade is claiming racial prejudice.
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Police are still trying to weed out the culprits, and soon hope to cultivate a case against them.John Nettles has been enlisted to help out.
A senior officer said ' Thistle soon sort them out. We'll have this case closed in no thyme.'
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When a local reporter asked the Chief Constable how the investigation was progressing he replied it was a case of trowel and error.
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Police last night discovered a man ripping out plants on an adjacent allotment. He was arrested & charged with disturbing the peas...
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Bravo :lol
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Police last night discovered a man ripping out plants on an adjacent allotment. He was arrested & charged with disturbing the peas...
The Local Beet Officer's budding career was praised at the end of the daily update just before the investigating officer declared that's shallot for today.
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when asked how they would transfer the accused to court without their own transport the officer replied, "wheelbarrow a van from G4S"
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Earlier this week,the police informed the public that a ...spade...had been found in connection with the incident!!!!!....and yesterday a eyewitness came forward stating he can identify the culprit??.....local buisiness man and land owner...old mcdonald..who used to own a nearby farm""(AKA)...e,eye..e,eye...hoe!!....was taken to diggernam police station to hopefully identify from a line up!!....several spades appeared in the line up,,and this appeared to confuse mr mcdonald..(specialy as one spade looks like another)!!!!!!!!.....this got even more confusing for the poor old fella when a frustrated policeman told him to hurry up and take his>>>>>>>>PICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes .....the case continues>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Police announced today that the G4S van had been held up on a dual-cabbage way by a couple of Swedes carrying pea-shooters & the suspect released, currently they have no leads, but are sure something will turnip. The spokesman went on to say "We know that the criminal undergrowth can't keep oat a secret for long & should anything leek onto their grapevine one of our grasses will no-doubt spill the beans"
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:rollin
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Paul is concerned after vandals left patches of bare earth on his allotment. He is hoping somebody will grass them up.
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The local community said "weed like to help but he wont lettuce".
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Hoe hoe hoe......................... Hope this doesn't go on forever. But suppose others will be saying lawn may it continue.
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Apparently special branch are getting involved in the hold up and have assured the escapee that, "he will be berry sorry when we catch him as he faces the full weight of the loam"
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Apparently the case has become a little bogged down with the suspect believed to be a (re)peat offender.