Making a Pig's Ear Out of Booking Mother's Day Lunch

[fazersharp]

No, ok then its exactly the same with chicken --- tin foil--- foil off last 1/2 hour, get the juicey bits out the pan this time with a glass of white wine (drink the rest) also to this a little double cream, then cheat with the instant gravy in to that.

[Frosties]

Roasting stuff is the easiest. In the oven for 2 hours at 200 C (or longer if it is big). The secret to stop it drying out is tin foil and a mug of water. It seems wrong but pour in a whole cup of water before you scrunch the tin foil together at the top. Perfect every time.

Roast your veg instead of boiling it. It's just as easy, keeps in the goodness and tastes 100 times better.

Do what he says -- its is so easy, you can get the kids to help she will be sooooo impressed. But take off the foil for the last 1/2 hour and put some salt on the top to get a nice crispy skin. Dont do the foil trick with pork as that needs to be un covered to get that crackling. Stick to lamb.
When it is almost ready the water will be gone and there will be lots of stuff - hard backed jucies that kind of thing, take out the meat and put the pan on the top hob and stick a glass of red wine in (drink the rest )and that will lift off all of that lamby taste - now stick that in a saucepan and add water and gravey granuals for an easy gravey cheat

ok - drink rest of wine, got that 

No, ok then its exactly the same with chicken --- tin foil--- foil off last 1/2 hour, get the juicey bits out the pan this time with a glass of white wine (drink the rest) also to this a little double cream, then cheat with the instant gravy in to that.

Swap above for Chicken - check!
Drink rest of wine (white) - check!


So mushrooms in bread crumbs with dip to start, roast chicken done as above with veg and new spuds, followed by 8 varieties of cheese cake.


Sound ok Sharpy & Foley?

[bigbluebear]

Better to keep the kids happy otherwise they will moan their through the day spoiling it....tell her she's getting a foccin McDonalds and a seeing to when the kids go to bed

[locksmith]

Sounds 100% Frosty

Tell you what though, get rid of the kids one night and cook her the seafood risotto, works a treat I tell yer!

[fazersharp]

Sounds 100% Frosty

Tell you what though, get rid of the kids one night and cook her the seafood risotto, works a treat I tell yer!

Would you end it with the risotto thing already

[robby boy]

Cooked (roast) chicken from the supermarket, all you've got to do is the veg...









Just remember to go and get it early enough as there will be a queue of can't cook won#t cooks there. 

[cfoley]

Swap above for Chicken - check!
Drink rest of wine (white) - check!


So mushrooms in bread crumbs with dip to start, roast chicken done as above with veg and new spuds, followed by 8 varieties of cheese cake.


Sound ok Sharpy & Foley?

If you're doing chicken, throw some onion quarters and carrot chunks (i.e. cut carrot into 2 or 3 bits) on the tray around the chicken. They take the flavour of the chicken juices and will be the best thing on your plate. Fit in as many as you can! You can also put some inside the bird but I don't bother as the ones on the tray are better.

10:40 pm and I'm wondering if it's too late to make myself some chicken...

[Frosties]

Better to keep the kids happy otherwise they will moan their through the day spoiling it....tell her she's getting a foccin McDonalds and a seeing to when the kids go to bed

No chance there of a session - it's like the friggin Sahara in my house 

Sounds 100% Frosty

Tell you what though, get rid of the kids one night and cook her the seafood risotto, works a treat I tell yer!

Nooooooooo, if I don't stick with the chicken I'll get confused and end up giving her fish fingers 

Cooked (roast) chicken from the supermarket, all you've got to do is the veg...

Just remember to go and get it early enough as there will be a queue of can't cook won#t cooks there.   

Good shout fella, that'll save a few hours in her kitchen 

Swap above for Chicken - check!
Drink rest of wine (white) - check!


So mushrooms in bread crumbs with dip to start, roast chicken done as above with veg and new spuds, followed by 8 varieties of cheese cake.


Sound ok Sharpy & Foley?

If you're doing chicken, throw some onion quarters and carrot chunks (i.e. cut carrot into 2 or 3 bits) on the tray around the chicken. They take the flavour of the chicken juices and will be the best thing on your plate. Fit in as many as you can! You can also put some inside the bird but I don't bother as the ones on the tray are better.

10:40 pm and I'm wondering if it's too late to make myself some chicken...

Ahhhh crap, back to the cooking then - liking the idea of the carrots! Ahhhh, if the chicken is wrapped in foil as per earlier, do the carrots go inside the foil  . yeah I know it's a f*ckwit question.


Loving the advice fellas - I could/maybe/possibly just be Golden Balls for a few hours.... 

[cfoley]

Carrots inside the foil so they soak up some of the juices.

[fazersharp]

Some oinion quarters or 16ths in there also wont go  a-miss and they all add to those bits that will stick to the bottom of the pan which you will (if you remember ) remove with a glass of wine and you know what to do with the rest.
You may not have the equipment but I take out those carrots and oinion and wiz them up with a hand held blender in the gravy saucepan.

[cfoley]

Never thought of blending them into the gravy but I think I love them too much as they are to try it.

[BBROWN1664]

If you cant cook a roast dinner there's something wrong with you.

Seriously though, something simple, pop into Iceland and look in the freezer cabinets for something you like the look of, pick up the type of veg etc frozen too as well as the spuds and desert. Read instructions and tell kids to help. You cant go wrong but it won't be as good as something cooked properly.

[cfoley]

The thing about that is it's no easier than just doing a roast with fresh ingredients. Less oven time for when you're in a hurry, and you don't need to plan ahead so things don't go off. But for a one off, doing a roast is just as easy. I suppose with the Iceland stuff you don't have to chop the veg.

[fazersharp]

Never thought of blending them into the gravy but I think I love them too much as they are to try it.

Just do it with the oinoin

The thing about that is it's no easier than just doing a roast with fresh ingredients.

Exactly.

Frosties after all our help you have SO got to do this now----------- and take pictures and we have got to see

[Frosties]

Done deal Sharpy - pics up Sunday evening. Already bought one of them there Aussie bush fire whackers so got it all covered me thinks.


Cheers for all the advice fellas, much appreciated 

[locksmith]

What time do you want us round?

[His Dudeness]

You'll have to change the title of the thread now to "Making a Pig's Ear Out of Cooking Mother's Day Lunch" 

[Frosties]

What time do you want us round?

About 10 to start peeling spuds and veg...........thgen you can all sod off 

You'll have to change the title of the thread now to "Making a Pig's Ear Out of Cooking Mother's Day Lunch" 

  [size=78%]  Dude, not wrong fella.......... you just KNOW when something is going to go tits up don't you [/size]

[BBROWN1664]

Frosties, are you still with us or did the Mrs kill you?

[fazersharp]

Frosties, are you still with us or did the Mrs kill you?

I hoped he cooked that chicken properly---------- hope everyone is ok

[Frosties]

Frosties, are you still with us or did the Mrs kill you?

I'm still around.....misses nearly wasn't 


Saturday lunch went well, everyone stuffed and happy - result!


Went out with my 7yr old daughter Saturday afternoon to get cards, flowers, pressies etc. Daughter chose what she wanted her & her brother to give their mum - box ticked me thinks!


Told her I was going to do a Sunday lunch that evening...... "you sure?"....."yep" says I, "got it all covered".


Cut, pasted and printed off all the advice you had given me all ready for Sunday morning shopping.


Sunday morning - the flowers were wrong "don't normally like these..................i prefer *whatever the feck she said*".  Quietly reminded her that her daughter had chosen them and to please stop moaning....cue *face on*.


Pressie was apparently too expensive (figurine ornament)...... Quietly reminded her again that her daughter had chosen it. Cue more intense *face on*.


Left to go shopping with list in hand and full of confidence that this would go right.................*phone call with full basket in Tesco's*......."don't fancy a roast today.....can we just have a sandwich and something later"?? "Not a problem" (gritting teeth)...so put it all back, went home and made us all sandwiches...woop de feckin woop!


Later on, "Right then, what do you want for dinner"......"fish 'n' chips"......."what, you sure.......??"......"yeah, fancy a nice bit of fish".


Go out at 5pm to our usual (which does do a cracking bit of fish).....feckin closed, no lights on, nothing. Try another...closed down. Try another....shut! Phones up "sorry love, all closed - any ideas"......."why they all closed then" ......."don't know, shall we go Chinese instead?"......"really fancied fish 'n' chips". Then, then I lost it big time and long story short we had a Chinese which we/she all enjoyed, and was sheepish all evening after a major bollocking when I ran the past week past her!


YOU COULDN'T FECKIN MAKE IT UP!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


Seriously, she is turning into her bloody mother and she cannot see it.......but she moans about her mum for the same reasons.


TAXI..........one way to the nearest camper van sales perrrrlease! Feck off round Europe, sounds REALLY good!!.....Unless one of you wise fellas can either put me straight or explain women to me!!


Really enjoyed my ride in to work this morning at 5.30am for some reason.........in the words of William Wallace...."Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedommmmmmmmmmm" 

[fazersharp]

After all your worries about being able to do this and then having the courage to go for it, going the extra mile to do something special out of your comfort zone and then
.................*phone call with full basket in Tesco's*......."don't fancy a roast today
Im just lost for words

[Frosties]

I should have paid attention to your 1st reply Sharpy - shouldn't have bothered. Lesson learnt fella...........lesson learnt.

[His Dudeness]

I was expecting this to end in a trip to A&E so I think you did well grasshopper 

[locksmith]

Blimey, she's a bundle of laughs