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+--- Thread: At a Loose end... (/showthread.php?tid=64730)
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At a Loose end... - nick crisp - 27-07-13
There was a young biker from Stow
Who didn't know where to go
So he sat on his arse
and smoked loads of grass
And maintained the status quo
Re: At a Loose end... - Dave48 - 27-07-13
There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate green apples & died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside
Also at a loose end! :lol
Re: At a Loose end... - ChristoT - 27-07-13
On a 33 horsepower Fazer
There was once a half-french hell raiser
On the last line he's stuck,
But does not give a fuck
So he goes off to ride his bike rather than finding a way to make the last line rhyme with laser. :lol
Re: At a Loose end... - caretaker - 27-07-13
there was a young woman from bude
who went for a swim with no clothes on.
a man in a punt
stuck a pole in her ear
and said, you cant swim here, it's private.
Re: At a Loose end... - ChristoT - 27-07-13
(27-07-13, 08:11 PM)caretaker link Wrote: there was a young woman from bude
who went for a swim with no clothes on.
a man in a punt
stuck a pole in her ear
and said, you cant swim here, it's private.
There was once a young man of Dee
Who stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He said: "Not a bit!"
I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet!
I'll get me coat... :rolleyes :lol
Re: At a Loose end... - Phil - 27-07-13
There is a biker from Poole
Who doesnt get out as a rule
Except for bike night down the Quay
Being seen there is the thing to be
Each year clocks up just one hundred and twenty three.
Re: At a Loose end... - Kosmic Kartman - 27-07-13
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky panky
Jack forgot his johnny bag
so Jill gave him a wanky
Re: At a Loose end... - mickvp - 27-07-13
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have Alzheimer's,
Cheese on toast.
:lol
Re: At a Loose end... - Exupnut - 28-07-13
(27-07-13, 10:05 PM)mickvp link Wrote: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have Alzheimer's,
Cheese on toast.
:lol
That is fukin funny LMAO
Re: At a Loose end... - pierre - 28-07-13
(27-07-13, 05:37 PM)Dave48 link Wrote: There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate green apples & died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside
Also at a loose end! :lol
Very good.
Re: At a Loose end... - ChristoT - 28-07-13
There was once a lady from Riga,
Who went for a ride on a tiger
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger!
Re: At a Loose end... - caretaker - 28-07-13
this is my mates valentine poem. always works without fail apparently.
roses are red
violets are blue
i've got a knife
get in the van. :eek
Re: At a Loose end... - Grahamm - 28-07-13
Roses are red.
Violets are purple.
Are you fucking colour-blind?
Re: At a Loose end... - nick crisp - 03-08-13
There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!
Re: At a Loose end... - ChristoT - 03-08-13
(03-08-13, 10:35 PM)nick crisp link Wrote: There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!
A witty old foccer, Nick Crisp
Decided to take quite the piss
At the failings of those
Who ensure that his nose
Will meet at high speed with their fist!!
Re: At a Loose end... - noggythenog - 03-08-13
(03-08-13, 11:24 PM)ChristoT link Wrote: [quote author=nick crisp link=topic=9110.msg92338#msg92338 date=1375565704]
There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!
A witty old foccer, Nick Crisp
Decided to take quite the piss
At the failings of those
Who ensure that his nose
Will meet at high speed with their fist!!
[/quote]
The London Foccers Kept Crashing
Now there are threats of a Bashing
They trash their Wheels
And eat Jellied Eels
We all find their banter just Smashing!!!!
Re: At a Loose end... - nick crisp - 03-08-13
Nick Crisp has been threatened with pain
His cheering-up efforts in vain
Trying to bring on a smile
But alas all the while
It was for no discernible gain!
Re: At a Loose end... - ChristoT - 04-08-13
(03-08-13, 11:54 PM)nick crisp link Wrote: Nick Crisp has been threatened with pain
His cheering-up efforts in vain
Trying to bring on a smile
But alas all the while
It was for no discernible gain!
Though Nick's intend is hardy and good,
This foccer's still sore, so you should
Wait for a bit more
For the banter to pour
For, you know, it undoubtably would.
I do not want to cause damage
To put you at any disadvantage
Your nose stays intact,
So with your lack of tact,
You will painlessly hopefully manage! :lol :lol
Re: At a Loose end... - Chillum - 04-08-13
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill the dill, forgot her pill
and now they've got a daughter
Mary had a motorbike
She rode it on the grass
Every time the wheel went round
A spoke went up her arse
Now Mary had a motorbike
So she rode it back to front
Every time time the wheel goes round
A spoke goes up her front bottom
Re: At a Loose end... - Chillum - 04-08-13
Mary had a little lamb
That she could not stop a-gruntin'
She took it up the garden path
And kick it's little **** in.