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+--- Thread: STROKE.........advice and help needed (/showthread.php?tid=74567)
STROKE.........advice and help needed - cable tie - 01-01-16
I feel for you fella, I'll never forgot 23rd March 2012 as i pulled onto my parents drive I noticed all the lights on, the front door wide open, wtf is going on ! I enter to find my mother crying and in bits as my father has just had a stroke, it happened 5 mins after he parked his van outside, walked in and answered the telephone and suddenly crashed to the floor, by the time I had got there the ambulance had already rushed him to hospital, we rushed straight to the hospital and seeing him in intensive care was so upsetting it was like something had stolen his sole, they gave him 24hrs it was touch n go as my father had a serious stroke, he managed to pull through the night and spent the nxt 13wks in hospital I was at his bedside every day after work until they kicked me out in eve, it was very hard for me because my father had a business so I had to sort all that out and sell it as well as some property and still go to work myself, look after my mother and visit my father everyday and whilst I sat talking to him every eve it allowed me to read up on strokes and was very interesting and allowed me to understand, but all this came at a price after so long i ended up having a breakdown myself I was so drained. The stroke effected his left side of his body so it's the oppo side of the brain and my father was left handed so it caused complications with writing and banking so I have power of attorney and sort everything out. Eventually when he came home his speech was mumbled but 3 years later he talks fine, he cannot walk without aid and has a electric wheelchair, he is able to go toilet himself and that's important to him, he talks non stop now where as before you only got one line conversation. When he first came home I found my mum crying and she said it was all too much for her and she cannot cope and said he might have to go in a home, she had home help but she felt as tho they were invading and pushy, so we got shut of them and I now live around the corner and go there twice a day (morn & eve) everyday, go shopping, pay bills, do jobs and so now I live a double life, even when we have holidays I have to think whom will look in ! So my wifes family help with keeping an eye on them it's hard work but these are my parents and they wiped my shitty arse so I'm now repaying the favour. My father now says some awful things, swears calls me a cnunt (the effect of the stroke) but we have lots of great banter and talk shitte he looks forward to my vists everyday and talks non stop but I do miss not being able to ask him life questions and feel as tho ive lost my Dad and gained a Best mate but I'm thankful he is still around.
It's strange how I used to think they will live forever but that's not true, @70 still worked 6-days a week and was really fit being X-forces pt instructor and still muscular but that made no difference to the stroke.
So Maddog my deepest sympathies go out to you and your family, i no what your going through it will be a rough ride at times but there's light at the end of the tunnel even tho it seems like a long tunnel you will get there.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 01-01-16
thanks for that Cable tie, very moving.
I don't think anyone can fully understand the effects of a stroke until you've seen one, I certainly didn't. Somehow its harder to deal with seeing a loved one fucked up rather than dead, my dad died slowly of cancer and we knew it was coming so for me it was a relief for dad that he was pain free even though I was gutted he'd died. Watching my wife lie there paralysed is very hard but I expect that I'll cope and my lad appears to be coping a bit better now
I was going the ozzy 3 times a day at first and after 5 days I was fucked physically, I realised I'd be no good to anyone and there was a possibility of me going down with something serious and my lad would be a wreck with his mum and dad out the game, I'm now going once possibly twice a day and its still hard trying to do the usual chores like walking the dog, cleaning etc and I feel guilty about only seeing her once a day. I'll have to return to work soon and that will impinge on things but worse things happen at sea................onwards and upwards
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 01-01-16
BTW.......I've got a hospital meeting next week with everyone who's involved in the wife's care/rehab ie doctors/nurses/speech therapists/physios
to those who have been down this road, what questions can I ask?
I spoke to a doctor yesterday and its the same old......"everyone is different with a stroke and its just a waiting game to see how it goes"
maybe they're right but its not helping me much
STROKE.........advice and help needed - cable tie - 01-01-16
Your are correct no one can understand the effect of a stroke until you have seen one, my mother never came to the specialist meets shes partially deaf and old and not well herself so to come was probably asking to much, but that meant it was harder for her to understand my fathers needs and his rash remarks.
Questions: I probably asked hundreds but the one I'll not forget is will my father have another stroke ! Stroke victims are more vulnerable regarding having another stroke over say me or you so the medication is very important to them, I was told not to overdue asking my father questions because they are quick to snap and cause stress, the pysio was very good and my father had 12 months but there's only so much they can do and age plays a massive part on recovery, your wife sounds young'ish so hopefully will make recovery but it ain't a race so will take time. We also brought my father a tens machine (it feels like getting a small electric shock) he puts his feet on it and it exercises his feet and puts feelings in his leg.
Don't worry about questions to ask they will give you all the info plus more and tell you what to expect .
Good luck .
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 05-01-16
some good news tonight, wife managed to move left arm and leg.......nothing great but small improvements.....ozzy very happy with her progress
fingers crossed
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - unfazed - 05-01-16
(05-01-16, 12:27 AM)maddog04 link Wrote: some good news tonight, wife managed to move left arm and leg.......nothing great but small improvements.....ozzy very happy with her progress
fingers crossed
:thumbup
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - taylor - 05-01-16
physio is very important. I know two people who had strokes, the one struggled with physio the other didn't bother, the one is on a walking stick the other has never left her wheelchair. sad just that little bit of drive, o that was 15 years ago they are both okay.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 05-01-16
she's doing very well on the physio, they're very happy with and so much so, that she's being told off for trying to do too much herself eg getting up on the commode without help
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - unfazed - 05-01-16
(05-01-16, 05:26 PM)maddog04 link Wrote: she's doing very well on the physio, they're very happy with and so much so, that she's being told off for trying to do too much herself eg getting up on the commode without help
That is a good complaint and good for her own mindset, you will be amazed what a few weeks will do.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - mark g - 05-01-16
Sorry to hear this brother, hope she gets better soon. My dad had a stroke back in the late 70's, mum and me had to look after him. He struggled for years trying to get better but unfortunately it took him in 82, its horrible thing to happen to anybody, I would guess that as the years have gone by the treatment has got better...... fingers crossed for a speedy recovery pal.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 06-01-16
cheers Mark
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 24-01-16
wife is now getting physio to aid walking and she "walked" about 30m the other day with a nurse supporting her on both sides........staff and wife very happy
we're thinking of taking an iPad in for her and are wondering if anyone knows of any games that will aid her sight/brain recovery.......I'd only ask that people on here who have had a stroke/relatives had a stroke ......if you used something similar, reply
I ask that only because we can all second guess (me included.......I think crosswords maybe good.......but I maybe far off the mark and I don't want her stressing if she cannot do something) so only answers from those with direct experience please.......I've tried google to no avail and its hard catching a Doctor to ask the question
thanks in advance
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - sinto607276 - 24-01-16
Excellent news maddog, and I totally agree with your request for those that have been there before, I would imagine though that every stroke is different and what's right for one may not be right for another so don't just close your eyes. I can't help you in any respect of a stroke as I've had no experience but my dad suffers from dimentia and his isn't the same as someone else's so that's why I say keep an open mind.
Good luck fella.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 24-01-16
you're 100% right mate and everyone is different........maybe I didn't make myself clear and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone
I'm seeking advice from those with experience as I think that maybe the best route that's all
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - sinto607276 - 24-01-16
(24-01-16, 12:39 PM)maddog04 link Wrote: you're 100% right mate and everyone is different........maybe I didn't make myself clear and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone:agree
I'm seeking advice from those with experience as I think that maybe the best route that's all
And you never offended me mate, I was nearly pointing out that an open mind is a good route
Hope I didn't offend you either
It's hard to put into txt what sometimes you'd say with no problems
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - bri h - 24-01-16
I cant help with any useful advice but it sounds like your wife is doing well so good lick and i hope she makes a speedy recovery.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - fatbloke62 - 24-01-16
Mr Maddog, glad she doin ok ,when I had my CVA my wife got me a Nintendo ds brain train but I have to be honest I didn't use it to much mainly because i hadn't got the patience at first and i got very frustrated and short tempered when i couldn't do it ,I found everyday conversation and a bit of banter with family and friends the best therapy .And as i said in a earlier post if you need to bend someone's ear get in touch
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - hotmetal - 24-01-16
My best wishes to all concerned. Everyone is different but just a tale of hope - my best mate's dad had a pretty hefty one that forced him to retire. He was laid up for a while but now he's the same old guy he always was, always coming out with comedy gold, where for a while he couldn't speak properly but no issues any more. The only thing is he didn't bother getting his driving licence back as he was late 60s when it happened and not sure he'd pass the 70+ medical. Hope your Mrs makes a full recovery too.
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - maddog04 - 24-01-16
no offence taken by me pal
Fatbloke.....I clocked your offer early on and appreciate the offer, nothing's been to troublesome upto now but if things come on top then I'll pm you
I think the with one hand down plus dodgy peripheral vision....the DS might be a bit small
thanks to everyone else for the kind thoughts too
Re: STROKE.........advice and help needed - fazersharp - 24-01-16
(24-01-16, 12:11 PM)maddog04 link Wrote: we're thinking of taking an iPad in for her and are wondering if anyone knows of any games that will aid her sight/brain recovery......No stroke experience but my 75 year old inlaws are somewhat addicted to word storm on the ipad