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+--- Thread: Real men (/showthread.php?tid=56305)
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Re: Real men - martynR - 27-10-11
(27-10-11, 07:42 AM)Captain Haddock link Wrote: [quote author=knoxy link=topic=650.msg4043#msg4043 date=1319666095]Thats an unusual shape for a chicken, does it make much noise in the morning when the sun rises?
I'm a real man cos I have a cock the size of an Anaconda :o
[/quote]
ROFL :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2 :lmao2
Re: Real men - locksmith - 27-10-11
Just how big is an anaconda's cock then?
Re: Real men - BIG MAC - 27-10-11
presumably with all that crawling around it would be well worn
Re: Real men - GringoRojo - 28-10-11
amazing what you find on the interweb... tried to find factual info about snake reproductive organs and found these lyrics...
Yummy bitch on her knees
"Gimme love" is all she screams
Back down low, knees up high
I'm gonna make her cry cry cry
My Anaconda Cock, Anaconda Cock
She loves it, oooh, oooh
My Anaconda Cock, Anaconda Cock
And her name's Anna...
:lol
Re: Real men - Tmation - 28-10-11
WOMEN -
[/size]Two female friends are catching up:
- So, how was your evening last night?
- A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4
minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep 2 minutes later.
And you?
- Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work.. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles we had and our foreplay lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderfull...
MEN -
Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"...:
- So, how was your evening last night?
- Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep. You?
- A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I
switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness.
Couldn't find the bloody fusebox, so when my better half arrived, I took her out.
It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earfull... Dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f * cking candles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to come. In the end, I was so p!ssed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing...
- Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work.. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles we had and our foreplay lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderfull...
MEN -
Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"...:
- So, how was your evening last night?
- Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep. You?
- A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I
switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness.
Couldn't find the bloody fusebox, so when my better half arrived, I took her out.
It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earfull... Dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f * cking candles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to come. In the end, I was so p!ssed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing...
Re: Real men - Fazerider - 28-10-11
(27-10-11, 09:54 PM)BIG MAC link Wrote: presumably with all that crawling around it would be well wornSnake genitalia are internal to avoid such problems.
Which means it's very difficult to tell whether they're male or female by looking at them.
Re: Real men - Captain Haddock - 28-10-11
If you meet a grumpy anaconda close up it doesn't matter if it's male or female, your still fucked! :lol
Re: Real men - Tori - 28-10-11
One that doesn't cry and jump on the sofa when the cat brings a mouse in.
One that doesn't lie even when he's been caught red handed (Why do men do that???)
One that is faithful and respects people.
One that can keep up...
I know it's a massive ask!!
Re: Real men - jon - 29-10-11
A WOMENS POEM:
As I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man thats not a creep,
One whos, hansom smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks,
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
and when I spend, wont get annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand,
Massage my feet and help me stand.
A MANS POEM:
I pray for a deaf, mute gymnast nymphomaniac,
with big tits and a fanny tighter than a mouses waistcoat.
She owns a pub, loves the taste of cum, and occasionally takes it up the wrong 'un.
This doesnt even rhyme but who gits a shit, poetry is for women