At a Loose end...

[Hedgetrimmer]

There was a young biker from Stow
Who didn't know where to go
So he sat on his arse
and smoked loads of grass
And maintained the status quo

[Dave48]

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate green apples & died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside
 
Also at a loose end!

[ChristoT]

On a 33 horsepower Fazer
There was once a half-french hell raiser
On the last line he's stuck,
But does not give a fuck
So he goes off to ride his bike rather than finding a way to make the last line rhyme with laser. 

[caretaker]

there was a young woman from bude
who went for a swim with no clothes on.
a man in a punt
stuck a pole in her ear
and said, you cant swim here, it's private.

[ChristoT]

there was a young woman from bude
who went for a swim with no clothes on.
a man in a punt
stuck a pole in her ear
and said, you cant swim here, it's private.

There was once a young man of Dee
Who stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He said: "Not a bit!"
I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet!




I'll get me coat... 

[Phil]

There is a biker from Poole
Who doesnt get out as a rule
Except for bike night down the Quay
Being seen there is the thing to be
Each year clocks up just one hundred and twenty three.

[Kosmic Kartman]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky panky
Jack forgot his johnny bag
so Jill gave him a wanky

[mickvp]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have Alzheimer's,
Cheese on toast.

[Exupnut]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have Alzheimer's,
Cheese on toast.

That is fukin funny LMAO

[pierre]

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate green apples & died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside
 
Also at a loose end!

Very good.

[ChristoT]

There was once a lady from Riga,
Who went for a ride on a tiger
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger!

[caretaker]

this is my mates valentine poem. always works without fail apparently.






roses are red
violets are blue
i've got a knife
get in the van.

[Grahamm]

Roses are red.
Violets are purple.
Are you fucking colour-blind?

[Hedgetrimmer]

There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
 
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
 
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!

[ChristoT]

There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
 
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
 
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!

A witty old foccer, Nick Crisp
Decided to take quite the piss
At the failings of those
Who ensure that his nose
Will meet at high speed with their fist!!

[noggythenog]

There was a young biker from France
Who's Fazer liked a good dance
So a bump it did hit
And threw him in shit
He really had no Foccin chance!
 
And another young fella I know
Who's Fazer refused to go
Where he wanted it to
It just said Foc you!
And now he has bruises to show!
 
There's a moral to this terrible tale
When riding your Fazer don't fail
To look where you're going
Or it's grass you'll be mowing
And you'll wind up feeling quite frail!

A witty old foccer, Nick Crisp
Decided to take quite the piss
At the failings of those
Who ensure that his nose
Will meet at high speed with their fist!!

The London Foccers Kept Crashing
Now there are threats of a Bashing
They trash their Wheels
And eat Jellied Eels
We all find their banter just Smashing!!!!

[Hedgetrimmer]

Nick Crisp has been threatened with pain
His cheering-up efforts in vain
Trying to bring on a smile
But alas all the while
It was for no discernible gain!

[ChristoT]

Nick Crisp has been threatened with pain
His cheering-up efforts in vain
Trying to bring on a smile
But alas all the while
It was for no discernible gain!

Though Nick's intend is hardy and good,
This foccer's still sore, so you should
Wait for a bit more
For the banter to pour
For, you know, it undoubtably would.

I do not want to cause damage
To put you at any disadvantage
Your nose stays intact,
So with your lack of tact,
You will painlessly hopefully manage! 

[Chillum]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill the dill, forgot her pill
and now they've got a daughter


Mary had a motorbike
She rode it on the grass
Every time the wheel went round
A spoke went up her arse

Now Mary had a motorbike
So she rode it back to front
Every time time the wheel goes round
A spoke goes up her front bottom

[Chillum]

Mary had a little lamb
That she could not stop a-gruntin'
She took it up the garden path
And kick it's little **** in.

[evesdad]

Mary had a little lamb
The midwife had a fit