Insults... whats your best?

[Billy Balthorpe]

Theres a comeback I use when someone calls me Fuckface.

Fuckface, yeah I like that one (insert guys name here), i'll have to remember that one the next time I'm climbing off your Mum.

Shamelessly stolen from Snatch.

[DILLIGAFF]

I was playing pool with a friend one time way back when it was 50p a game. I checked my change and had no 50p coins, so I asked if he had one. He threw a 50p. coin on the table with the words..........." Here, buy yourself a personality!"

In a rare moment of inspiration I threw 20p. back at him and said..........." Here's your change, I bought one like yours"

[lew600fazer]

Today!!! my insurance quote for my MT-09 just under €600 fucking euro. Full no claim. I have never had a claim in my 50+years of riding bikes. Phoned the twats up and asked WTF! that is 100% increase since last year. Some oriental gentleman says , well sir you are now nearing 68 years of age do you not think it was time to stop biking. I am booked on the next flight to Bombay, cheeky bastard.

[Slaninar]

Telling people in a calm tone to take a bath seems to piss most of my countrymen off.  When I really want to provoke someone to a fight, that usually does it.