Bike Tips 101

[dcurzon]

See attached pic... Sums it up

[devilsyam]

When treating bike with acf50 keep off discs
When kitting up for pouring rain take keys out pocket first

When using bike cover protect screen as will scratch

If you sneeze make sure visor up

When putting side stand down make sure engine off first less the gear shift you hit

[rustyrider]

If you ride something like a Ducati single where the exhaust pipe is held into the head by a threaded collar which periodically works itself loose, when you start the bike and notice that the downpipe is rattling and the exhaust is blowing, do not stop after you've covered 100 yards or so, grab hold of the downpipe with one (bare) hand to push it into place while screwing the collar in with the other (bare) hand.  The handprint burnt into the downpipe will not polish off no matter how hard you try and the smell every time you stop at traffic lights reminds you of pork crackling.  However, you could commit all sorts of crime for the next month with little chance of being caught as you have no fingerprints........

Guess who once owned a Ducati single........

[Skippernick]

If you ride something like a Ducati single where the exhaust pipe is held into the head by a threaded collar which periodically works itself loose, when you start the bike and notice that the downpipe is rattling and the exhaust is blowing, do not stop after you've covered 100 yards or so, grab hold of the downpipe with one (bare) hand to push it into place while screwing the collar in with the other (bare) hand.  The handprint burnt into the downpipe will not polish off no matter how hard you try and the smell every time you stop at traffic lights reminds you of pork crackling.  However, you could commit all sorts of crime for the next month with little chance of being caught as you have no fingerprints........

Guess who once owned a Ducati single........

Ouch

[UG]

When getting off the bike at Bourton on the water, make sure Raz is there to hold your bike up as you slide along the kerb on wet leafs. 

[midden]

Don't leave choke on, even a little. Eventually engine starts coughing 

[hightower]

Don't leave choke on, even a little. Eventually engine starts coughing 

I did this, thought all the way home "this is gonna be expensive". When I pulled into the drive the engine stalled, and that's when I noticed choke. School boy, won't do that again.

[ChristoT]

Put the right bloody fuel in!! :O

[midden]

Put the right bloody fuel in!! :O

Would that make a difference then

[mr self destruct]

When stopping off at a petrol station to hose your bike down after a ride along some very muddy roads, make sure you're wearing your waterproof trousers rather than your kevlar jeans. Otherwise expect a wet arse on the ride home. 

[Panthor]

Don't trust new sump plug from m&p's.  Doing oil change now and new sump plug started stripping the thread, luckily got it out with any any major damage and re-used old one