Well.........thats never happened before!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pilgrim]

 
Right.
Will have to relate this tale on here, cos if I tell the wife she will throw the biggest wobbler since the invention of wobblers!
Here goes.....
Decided to grab a quick shower before tea tonight. Suitably washed and scrubbed, I grabbed the towel off the back of the bathroom door and began to dry off, starting with the upper body and gradually working southwards so to speak.
Wrapped the towel around my waist for a moment as I stepped out of the shower, in order to continue the drying process in a more spacious environment, and when I removed the towel, well.........
Not quite sure how it managed to stay within the confines of the towel during the whole process, but there was this....
Spider.
Now, I'm not generally squeamish about these kind of things, but...
 
Lets just say it had become intimately acquainted with yours truly without even kissing me first!!!!!!!!!
Could have sworn it even tipped me a sly wink, in a feminine way of course
Suffice to say I may have had a bit of a tizzy fit and done an excellent naked arm flap around the bathroom.
Now I know that may sound a bit of an over reaction, but for some reason I suddenly had this image of little venom dripping fangs far too close to where a chap really does'nt want that kind of thing going on.
So, with that image in my head, toilet 1, arachnid 0.
One large glass of wine  and three cigs later, I managed to look back on the event and laugh, nervously, but for some reason its not an experience
I would like to repeat anytime soon.
Or ever.
And SWMBO has a mortal terror of the little eight legged critters, and will never, ever hear about this.
I hope
 
 

[Lazarus]

lol pilgrim....i actually laughed out loud at that.
 
hope your "Colonel" survived the onslaught. Might need to promote him to "Major" after surviving that kind of attack

[richfzs]

 

Full marks for sharing  

[pilgrim]

Afraid to say the poor chap became even more Private after that.
Counselling may be in order for Post Traumatic Stress disorder

[AdieR]

You'll be delighted to know this little "estimate" then...





































...It's reckoned that on average, one person will swallow 5 (yep, five) spiders every year while sleeping!

[manuel32]

A lad i know is in the army, he recently got a spider bite in Africa, the bite went bad and last week as the photos on facebook prove=====he popped a MAGGOT out of the puss,,how vile is that, spider larvae in ya

[know your limitations]

Are you more bothered about the fact it happened in the first place? Or the fact he's never called you since and you feel used.... like a piece of meat?

[caretaker]

thats nothing. my missus has cobwebs on her......

[pilgrim]

Would have been nice to have a couple of drinks first or something!
And it was a lady spider which is actually more frightening.........cos they eat you afterwards

[DILLIGAFF]

I suffer, no enjoy, a little mild OCD and just this morning I noticed that I ALWAYS shake the towel before use. Then I remembered a similar tale to youre and that explained it.

[pilgrim]

Wise words. I think towel shaking may well become part of my post shower ritual
I suffer from CDO. Its like OCD but the letters are in the correct order, as they should be.

[locksmith]

 
 
errr maybe not 

[pilgrim]

Oddly enough, I'm not in the habit of taking a camera in the shower with me.
Well, not since I started the medication
PS. Still hasnt rung.
Bitch.

[know your limitations]

Was it this spider......? If it was, I'd probably still be in the shower ALL day... 

[Captain Haddock]

Are you more bothered about the fact it happened in the first place? Or the fact he's never called you since and you feel used.... like a piece of meat?

Since when did spiders start life as a maggot????
Sounds more like a bot fly bite.
We do have one of the spiders with the strongest venom in this country, it's one of the most common, but due to size they can't pierce human skin anyway so no problem.
Get a grip you arachnaphobic poofters! 
I believe the false widow spider is getting quite prevalent darn sarf which can give quite a nasty bite if you are alergic to them.

[pilgrim]

Defo wouldnt have told the missus if it was that spider above
Dont suffer from arachnaphobia, but its no consolation knowing that we have a very poisonous spider, which could have been on my todger!!!!!!!!!!
Humm, thinking about the false widow spider, she did look a bit desperate, and was also darn sarf!
 
PPS. Still no phone call.
Slag.

[Tori]

Are you more bothered about the fact it happened in the first place? Or the fact he's never called you since and you feel used.... like a piece of meat?

Since when did spiders start life as a maggot????
Sounds more like a bot fly bite.
We do have one of the spiders with the strongest venom in this country, it's one of the most common, but due to size they can't pierce human skin anyway so no problem.
Get a grip you arachnaphobic poofters! 
I believe the false widow spider is getting quite prevalent darn sarf which can give quite a nasty bite if you are alergic to them.

Myth...we do not have the most venomous non biting spider lol. The smallest of spiders are capable of piercing human skin. The false widow can be nasty, and yes, it bites!

[JZS 600]

Jesus, nearly gone cross eyed looking at the "spider" in the picture!