Hey Skipper....just my noggence worth......I don't think that you should kick yourself too badly and I also don't think that you can really practice over cooking it.
you have drawn comparisons with others on here that are fast riders but even they will overcook it at times albeit maybe at different lean angles.....I am sure that they are here for the grace of god too and not from superior skill once things went tits up because to actually get to the stage of being tits up means really that planning and being controlled have already gone out the window.
I've practiced Punkstigs "funky chicken" ever since he posted it up a couple years ago and it does help become more self aware and relaxed.
I also read somewhere about sticking your leading elbow out towards where you want to go...so chin up and pointed to the exit and also the elbow.
Leaning over the tank might help a bit, more weight on the front end and better feel through the arms of what is going on via the front wheel and handlebars although on an upright bike it can be difficult to maintain.
also do you find that you have this problem even solo or is it when following others?.
and after all that noggyness & we all know I'm no guru....what would I say about tyres......If you don't do much wet weather riding then id say go for it get some sticky compounds on there, Rosso Diablo or whatever....when you see small stones sticking in them during summer it puts the mind at ease about how soft and sticky they are and the placebo effect certainly kicks in a bit so you stop worrying about them.
I highly rate the Pilot Power 2CT which I had on the FZ1 and now on the Noggysaurustrx they are great.