Date: 03-11-25  Time: 18:51 pm

Author Topic: Some old, some new!  (Read 1926 times)

dickturpin

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Some old, some new!
« on: 17 February 2012, 11:48:12 pm »
1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3.. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie ( Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchorwoman from Tyne Tees who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Ton13

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #1 on: 18 February 2012, 12:09:24 am »
 :lol

JKay

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #2 on: 18 February 2012, 01:13:20 am »
Great collection :lol :lol :lol

alan09

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #3 on: 18 February 2012, 09:49:06 pm »
seen them many times but still very funny, i'm sittin here laughin me cock off i really need to get a life   :lol

pitternator

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #4 on: 19 February 2012, 07:18:03 am »
LMFAO...I need some cheer this morning .  :lol

imax

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #5 on: 19 February 2012, 12:00:42 pm »
All from the legend that is Murray Walker

It's raining and the track is wet!

There are four different cars filling the first four places.

This is lap 54. After that it's 55, 56, 57, 58.

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second which is less than one second.

This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up but down as well.

Look up there! That's the sky!

The faster he goes the quicker he'll get to the pits. The slower he goes the longer it will take.

Twenty four points for Schumacher, twenty three points for Hill, so there's only one point between them if my mental arithmetic is correct.

As you can see, visually, with your eyes.

Either the car is stationary or it's on the move.

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

I imagine the conditions in those cars today are totally unimaginable.

I make no apologies for their absence. I'm sorry they're not here.

It's not quite a curve. It's a straight actually!

He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed.

With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.

He's here again for the first time.

And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place.

A sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montréal for today's Grand Prix.

dickturpin

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #6 on: 19 February 2012, 01:32:09 pm »
 :rollin

Ton13

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #7 on: 27 February 2012, 05:37:11 pm »
very funny, hes just trying to please all the fans  :lol

rustyrider

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Re: Some old, some new!
« Reply #8 on: 27 February 2012, 11:29:21 pm »
He hasn't lost it either.  I was working at the GP at Silverstone last year and went into the gents in the broadcasters compound.  It was pretty miserable and raining outside and standing just inside the door, huddled up in an overcoat and hat, was this little old man.  I looked at him and then did a doubletake.  Was this really Murray Walker hiding in the bogs?  He saw me look and said, "Yes, I am Murray Walker and no I don't usually hang around in gents toilets, I'm just trying to keep dry!"