I feel your pain but I'm sure that most of the time you love your Fazer. Machinery is always a pain in the ass when something threatens to defeat us. The love will come back when you get this sorted. However, I'm not entirely sure I understand the problem. I have no idea what a graphite or a steel wool gasket are. I fitted an SP Engineering link pipe and end can to my boxeye some time ago and was supplied with stainless exhaust clamps to tighten the manifold onto the link pipe and then the link pipe onto the end can. A certain degree of manipulation was required to get the side stand bung plate to line up but its a question of taking your time and walking away for an hour if you start getting frustrated. I reinforced the seal at both ends of the link pipe by smearing a bit of silicone gasket inside the mating surfaces before fitting it all together. It may not have needed it but I did it just to make sure.
Just calm down and have another go at it over the next few days when you formulated a different attack plan.
By the way, buying another bike will only bring you a different set of problems or maybe even the same problems but on a different bike. They're machines and its what they do