old - Fazer Owners Club - old
General => General => Topic started by: Dave48 on 13 September 2012, 12:29:55 pm
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Apart from the few times Ive dropped the bike because my foot slipped/ground sloped away when putting on side stand. usually with an audience!...The MOST EMBARRASSING & POTENTIALLY LETHAL was when I forgot to turn my left indicator off and then made a digital gesture to some poor old fella who started to pull out from a side turn into my path. Guess the moral of this tale could be "This is going to hurt me more than you!" :eek
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Or you could be at a bike meet, with 500-600 onlookers, laying on the floor with your bike on top of you after pulling away a bit too quickly and dropping it in the most embarassing of styles! Thankfully, not me, but my friend Chris. Oh how we laughed (after) :lol
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not happened to me, but a mate not long passed his test and got a gsxf suzuki. Pulled up to group of bikers in a car park and tried to act "nonchalant" as if hed been biking for years.
Pulled up beside them, stopped the bike, got off and walked away.
Me forgot a key element - use the sidestand
he got a roasting from the "audience"
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not happened to me, but a mate
[...]
Me forgot a key element
Typo or Freudian slip...? ;)
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I don't suppose there can be many of us who have never crashed, overbalanced or made some sort of cock-up that has ended with our bike on its side. And it's always embarrassing.
Probably my worst was a few years ago on the switchback road that goes from Keogh Barracks towards Pirbright past the army ranges. After being held up for a while by a driver who appeared to think there was a 30mph limit I dropped back then accelerated as a short straight came into view. There was nothing coming the other way so I rocketed past him in fine style and absolutely nailed the next few bends. :D
Unfortunately, at that point I took a break from concentrating in order to mentally congratulate myself on the speed with which I'd negotiated those bends. A second later I woke up to the fact that there was a tricky off-camber downhill right-hander ahead and, as a direct result of my earlier successes, I was approaching it much faster than I'd ever attempted it before. Sensible braking was all that was required to get round it... sadly, that wasn't what I did. A boot-full of brake and fixating on the impact zone saw me lock the rear and slide ignominiously round the corner backwards leaving a trail of broken plastic in my wake.
Moments later, Mr 30mph arrived and patiently watched as I picked the bike up and cleared my debris out of his way. :o
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Outside where I work there's bike bays that get really busy. I got there late once and struggled to find a gap, once I'd got in one (backed in to kerb) I had to use the centrestand as there wasn't room to lean it on the sidestand. Since it was wet my foot slipped off the stand and as I was heaving the bike up I very nearly tipped it over away from me... there was a line of 15-20 bike there, could've gone like dominos :eek I just about caught it and held it up.
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Years ago riding a superdream went to do a u-turn on a hill but a police station dropped the bike (turning downhill) had a big problem picking it up as I had to pick it "uphill" a few people around none came to help got it up thought start bike ride off quickly bloody thing would not start straight away as cars had dumped their fuel so sitting on the bike trying to start it when it did drove off feeling a right burk
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Years ago riding a superdream
SAY NO MORE :b
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I suppose dropping the 265kg fully loaded (Bandit) at 0 MPH on your own leg breaking it badly putting yourself out of work for 3 plus months comes close to being as embarrasing as it can be!.....It was in front of friends and thankfully a nurse filling her car with fuel......Bless her little cotton socks!
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I must say it is reassuring to hear your mishaps, as I have experienced a few over the years, but the most recent involved the Gen 1 Fazer I have just sold.
[/size][/color]A group of us were out on a training ride with our local IAM group, when the Trainee Observer pulled his "Associate" into a layby for a briefing. As I was overseeing, I dutifully did the same to listen in, and as soon as I put the side stand down I guessed I'd be in trouble![/font]
[/size][/color]All was fine until we were ready to leave, then as I suspected, the camber was too acute to allow me to straighten out the bike so I could get the side stand up. I heaved and I heaved, but as there was a real risk I would be left behind, had to swallow my pride and ask for some manpower, which did the trick and off we went.[/font]
[/color][/size]This was not the first time it had happened and was one of the reasons I [/color][/size]changed[/color][/size] the bike for a Gen 2, but at least if I'm on my own, I can wheel it along the road until I find a bit level enough so I can heave it upright.[/color] :o
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Well apart from giving a suicidal pedestrian a good long blast of my starter motor (ooops. wrong side)
Many moons ago I was on a ride out from Box Hill. All went well and I was just starting to think I could keep up with the leaders when the bike in front of me touched on the brake entering a sweeping right hander. As we were all bunched up I also had to brake which immediately stood the bike upright and headed me towards a fuck off big oak tree on the apex.
I wrestled with control and found myself doing a Thelwell pony impression along the grass verge, mostly out of contact with the bike and the ground.
I finally brought it to a a very ungraceful stop on the raised embankment and was greeted by one of the other riders informing me....................
"This aint foccing motocross y'know" :o
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Well apart from giving a suicidal pedestrian a good long blast of my starter motor (ooops. wrong side)
Many moons ago I was on a ride out from Box Hill. All went well and I was just starting to think I could keep up with the leaders when the bike in front of me touched on the brake entering a sweeping right hander. As we were all bunched up I also had to brake which immediately stood the bike upright and headed me towards a fuck off big oak tree on the apex.
I wrestled with control and found myself doing a Thelwell pony impression along the grass verge, mostly out of contact with the bike and the ground.
I finally brought it to a a very ungraceful stop on the raised embankment and was greeted by one of the other riders informing me....................
"This aint foccing motocross y'know" :o
Lol....Wot a MUPPET!....That was very funny! Thanks for that mate :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
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i was parking my bike under a tree once and i managed to poke myself in the eye with one of the branches and over went the bike with me still clinging onto it :lol . luckily there was no damage done.
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S'funny really how easy it is to lose control over a bike...........You must have been branching out!.......... :lol :lol :lol
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oh leave off wood ya :lol
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It wood be nice but my roots are set!!... :rolleyes (sorry that was bad)!!!.....
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yeah that was pretty bad i think we should nip this in the bud
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Back in the days of my youth I had a BSA Rocket Goldstar. I stopped for some petrol, realized I was at the wrong pump tried to push the bike to the 5 star pump while standing on the right hand side of the bike (my wrong side for pushing).
The bike went away from me with me holding the throttle with both hands trying to save it; the inertia picked me off my feet and through me over the bike like a WWF wrestler.
In my jeans back pocket I had one of those solid aluminium hair combs, on impact it turned sideways in my pocket and everyone of the teeth was driven its full depth into backside.
The bike on its side I was in agony trying to pull out the comb and the people in the petrol station were pissing themselves laughing.
ATB YFM
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And we have a winner :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
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went to do a u-turn on a hill
Ah, yes, something I tried to do having missed a turning on an Observed Ride! Not something I'll try doing again...
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yeah that was pretty bad i think we should nip this in the bud
Ok bud, i'll leaf it fur now.....How about yew?...(getting werserer) :'(
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Ive had several, usually while standing still..
Worst one.. on a tour with a group of mates up the Highlands, I had a 600 Bandit at the time with a wing rack.. As onme of the guys was taking a pillion I offered to strap his tent and sleeeping bag on the back seat of my already overladen machine..
Stopping at Callender for a cuppa we all decided to part in a big line in the car park. Now this car park was partly on a slight hill.. as I was one of the last to arrive I opted to park on the downhill section at the end of the line.. pulls the bike up and paddles back into the end of the line with everyone else on my right everything felt good. with all the weight present I carefully put the bike on the sidestand. It felt secure so lifted the bum out the seat only to have the bike start to fall to the left due to the sudden weight transfer..
I tried to hold it up by putting my hand one the end of the bar but the weight took it right over.. The boxes saved most of the damage happening but I did end up getting pinned to the ground by my hand with the end of the bar..
It took 3 of my mates to lift the thing back up and move it to a flatter area.. lesson learned and a bit embarrassed.. couple of scrapes and a bent lever I got off light.. No-one wanted me parking next to them the whole of the trip after that..
Budgie
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Trouble is you don't realise how heavy the standard unladen bandit is........and then we put every thing on them....including the kitchen sink!
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I took a break from concentrating in order to mentally congratulate myself :rollin :rollin
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While I had my scooter...
anyway the really embarrassing bit, I "flew" around a corner past a garage with a nice looking Jag for sale. I was wondering how much it cost when my brain piped up "why not have a look?". I did and it goes without saying there was a car waiting at the zebra crossing immediately after the garage. I avoided panicking but not locking the wheels, sliding into the back of the car and launching myself into a somersault over the boot, executing a fine landing on my back in the gutter. When I went to the car owner's house to settle the repair bill he told me he'd thought he was going mad after he felt the impact and saw nothing behind him. To add to the embarrassment my dad knew the guy in the car behind me who saw the full display, said it was the funniest thing he'd seen in ages.
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About 2 months ago on a trip to Brecon with the missus.
I'm going 5 mph down a hill on a single lane track, with a blind corner to the right in about 15 m...we'd just left the farm we were staying on about 1 min earlier. Suddenly a tractor screams up the road aiming for a gap in the hedge 10m in front to my left. I slow down, pull over to the right to let him through....I put my right foot out to find with horror that the solid bank has suddenly turned into a 1 ft ditch filled with water. Both me, the bike and her on the back go right in...absolutely soaked with the bike almost at 45 degrees facing down. I'm a bit trapped so can feel the water running down the back of my trousers, into the boots, into the gloves etc, she somehow manages to keep her footing and jumps straight off the bike like the gazelle she is.
The farmer and my wife were p*ssing themselves laughing as we lifted the bike back out...
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About 2 months ago on a trip to Brecon with the missus.
I'm going 5 mph down a hill on a single lane track, with a blind corner to the right in about 15 m...we'd just left the farm we were staying on about 1 min earlier. Suddenly a tractor screams up the road aiming for a gap in the hedge 10m in front to my left. I slow down, pull over to the right to let him through....I put my right foot out to find with horror that the solid bank has suddenly turned into a 1 ft ditch filled with water. Both me, the bike and her on the back go right in...absolutely soaked with the bike almost at 45 degrees facing down. I'm a bit trapped so can feel the water running down the back of my trousers, into the boots, into the gloves etc, she somehow manages to keep her footing and jumps straight off the bike like the gazelle she is.
The farmer and my wife were p*ssing themselves laughing as we lifted the bike back out...
I think we have a winner!!!! :rollin :lol
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Dunno if this qualifies (cos it wasnt me) but remember reading this a while ago (apologies if previously posted)
What colour is Adrenaline?
Some of us wear BMW style two piece "open chin" helmets - you know the type - where the lower chin piece can be opened by pressing two thumb locks. Some people have also fitted their bikes with electronic cruise control or a version which operates on friction on the throttle - either way they hold the speed of the bike reasonably constant without any input from one's throttle hand. We also all wear gloves which invariably fasten around the wrist with either a velcro flap or a press stud; some of the more expensive types have a zip fastener as well, among other features.
Picture if you will, one lone BMW rider with an opening-chin helmet and a pair of good quality velcro fastened gloves sailing along the Hume Highway at 115 kph (that's all I'll admit to!!) dialled in on the electronic cruise control. Weather is good, no cars in the immediate vicinity, scenery is boring, no cops, life is good!! Junction of highway with Albury/Wodonga Road about 5 km away, no need to slow down yet; bike is running beautifully!! Looking forward to lunch.
Bugger! Is that a bee that just got into my helmet through the small gap I've left for some fresh air? Could be. Well, I'll just open my helmet visor to let him out. Visor up ... no, the little bugger is going to be stubborn, cantankerous even! He's not going to leave and is now behind my sunnies, must be tired from all that pollen hunting. Don't want to be stung on the eyelid -- I'll just open the chin piece on my BMW helmet (very handy) and get him out .... let go of handlebars .... squeeze the release buttons ... bike is nicely balanced and holding line well ... speed steady ...no cars ... this should be easy ... got the helmet open ... glasses off ... piss off bee! ... glasses on ... slam shut helmet ... hands back to bars.
Oh, sheeite! Thumbs of both gloves jammed in helmet!!! Gloves won't move even though I'm pulling like hell!! Wow, this will be interesting ... can't quite press the release buttons with little fingers ... Junction now 3.5 km away ... I know, I'll just pull one or both hands out of my gloves .... no, that doesn't work: "velcro is good stuff, won't come undone if you fall off!" I remember the salesman saying that. He was absolutely right, they're stuck fast, I'd have to tear my head off first .
Well, next brilliant idea, what if I just touched the foot brake --- nooo, dumb idea! That won't work, this Airhead Beemer has great engine braking and when I get to about 40 kph and can't balance the bike any longer and the dreaded BMW boxer-wheel-wobble starts, which it will, I am going to have major tank slappers --- sheeeiite!! I'll be off on my bum so quick and still hanging onto my helmet so tightly they'll have to bury me in it!!
Won't do the bike much good either!!!
Hell, I can see the junction up ahead about one and half k's away and I am really starting to get the wind up ... tense even ... certain parts are beginning to pucker ... if the lights change to red and that huge B-Double waiting at the lights is in the middle of the junction when I get there, jeeesus, I'm going to be a hood ornament next to that bloody chrome bull dog!! Must try and pull hands really hard ... can I make them any smaller ... 800 metres ... the left one is giving a little ... maybe the gloves are slipping on the sweat now pouring from every pore ... 600 metres yes, yes, that's it, they're wet with sweat ....... I am going to have to hit the footbrake in the next few seconds ... can't hit that @#$*&@ big truck at this speed, it might scratch his duco.
Yes! yes! ripper! Got the left hand out ... now hit foot brake to cancel cruise, de-clutch and slow bike with foot brake ... steer for the shoulder ... slowing down ... Slide foot ... stop ... ease out clutch to stall bike ... side stand down ... Switch off bike with left hand, right hand still glued to helmet ... Tintops going past must think I've got toothache ... fall off into grass ... lay there for 5 minutes till the shaking stops and the adrenaline rush dissipates ... Now release helmet with left hand and remove sweat soaked head. Breathe out -- -- Shizer! Was that ever close! I'll buy a Tatts ticket in Albury!
When I had recovered, I realised there were two observation here:-
No. 1. It's not a good idea to open or shut your helmet when on the move.
No. 2. Did you know, "adrenaline" is brown!!
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:lol :rollin :lol haha , bloody fantastic,
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Lazarus, That my friend was the best story i've heard in a very long time!! Absolutely bloody brilliant as has already been said. Fookin fantastic!! :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
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The first one is simple. I dropped the test bike outside the test center just as I arrived. Right in front of a large pane of glass behind which were all the other people out for a fail.
Second one is a bit more long winded and goes back to my sorry yoof, and it's all true, apart from the illegal bits of course.
I was sharing a house with a mate of mine (who got me into bikes). He had just bought a little 200cc cruiser, can't remember the make. Anyway, he said I could take it out for a ride one day. Anyway, he was at work (on a Sunday) and I decided that today was the day I rode his bike, so I hotwired it (that reminds of a moped incident on an RAF base when I was 10 but that's another story - actually embarrassing as well but can be excused because I was only 10).
So off I tootle. This was the first time I'd ever ridden a motorbike mind you (apart from the Moped when I was 10 and that doesn't really count). First embarrassing moment was going round a dual carriage ring-road in an old English town on the A1. I couldn't turn the bike (I didn't know how to lean). As I neared the kerb I ended up doing that kind of one legged pedalling motion that you do on pushbikes sometimes, well it go me round the bend...just.
I decide to take off for quieter roads and ended up taking a back road out of my village that I didn't know too well, as I didn't drive either at the time (so no licence..you can see where this is going). As I'm pootling along, the road starts getting all bouncy, and I start to feel a little out of control. At the same time the road narrows and there's a line of gravel in the middle.
Now I knew that gravel was bad, so I got on the left hand side of it because there was a crest coming up and the road went to the left, giving me a fair chance of making it round without hitting the gravel. No it didn't, it went right and now I'm stuck, but what's this - a grass verge..I'm saved! I decided to ride onto the verge and slow down gradually, nothing wounded other than my pride, which I didn't have too much of anyway being an ignorant twat full of his clog.
Well, again, no. There was a large 'bump' in the grass which sent me up into the air, the bike carried on of course. I land on my arse and bang my head (I did have a helmet on!). The bike, however, hadn't finished it's ride-out so it decided to lock it's front wheel into the newly forming ditch and carry on riding without me. It fell over about 20 yards in, over on to it's right hand side. The handlebar dug in, which twisted the throttle. The bike had now turned itself upside down and was screaming the scream that only neutral can deliver.
I crawled over to the bike, leant across to turn the ignition off and burnt my arm on the exhaust (still have the scar).
So, now I'm in a ditch. I crawl out and contemplate how I'm going to get the bike out. I start to drag it when a nice lady in a shiny 4x4 drives up and asks me if I'm ok. So there I am, no licence, no insurance and a stolen bike I have, literally, ditched. "Yes" says I, "no problem" says I (please **ck off I'm thinking). She gives me a funny look but does drive off.
I manage to get the bike out of the ditch and start wheeling it back to the village, but it's in some kind of 'odd' gear, that is half neutral, half clunk and half nose dive. I eventually get back to the outskirts of the village whereupon I park the bike outside a row of houses and set off to find a phone box.
So now I'm calling my mate up. I didn't pussy around, I told him I'd broken his new toy and all he said was 'wait there'. Fortunately for me a couple of biker mates showed up and were chatting to me when my mate arrives on his KR1 (postage size pillion, about 1ft above the rider). I honestly thought he was going to nut me with his lid on, but he just said 'get on bike'. Being a sheepish wimp I did as bid, I was also a bit sorry as well I suppose.
Anyway, 80mph round the **cking ring road, pegs down in front of the cop shop with sparks flying into the top of my boots. We get back to the house where we pick up his van to go and get the bike.
When we get there to load the bike up, someone comes out of the house. I'd forgotted that this was where another of my mates parents lived. He said 'is this your bike'..'because I thought it was dodgy and have phoned the police'.
Well, that bike fairly levitated into the back of the van. We passed the cops about 200 yards up the road going the other way.
He never made me pay for the bike, he never even mentioned it again. He is still my oldest mate (since we were 11). However, before you think I've gotten away scot free he does, on occassion, bore the living shit out of me...and I don't complain.
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I had a similar experience when I was 16. Was pillion on a mate's scooter and went to visit his girlfriend. Needless to say I soon got bored while he was "busy" and borrowed the scoot for a tootle round the cul-de-sac. Next thing I know I am at the main road and going a bit too fast to stop and turn back, so, a quick whizz up the road and back............................... what could possibly go wrong?
Well, nothing, actually and filled with a whole 5 minutes of biking confidence I turned back intending to return the bike, but, well just a bit further.........................then..........................
Parked in a lay-by was one of those big fat evil looking police bikes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I rode confidently by and escaped his attentions but then realised I had to get back past him to return the bike. Gave it a few minutes and rode back in my best confident and competent style past him. Even gave him a little nod. Phew! Done it.................then......................... the sound of a foc-off big motorbike alongside me with the dreaded gloved hand signalling me to pull over.
Coughed to no licence/insurance etc and he made me push it back to the house where he grilled my mate Dan, the owner.
Poor sod, if he said I stole it he knew it was serious for me but in saying he knew I had it he was also guilty.
We both went to court, which terrified us, but taught us a valuable lesson.
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Reading Buzzs post reminded me of many years ago on Lambretta scooter with girl friend on back going up steep Devon country lane that had been resurfaced with a splash of tar & ton of loose chippings! Hill got steeper to the point where I needed 1st gear but I had almost stopped & tried to hold us on front brake and try a hill start. Brake wouldnt hold us-started to roll back & couldnt get right foot to back brake(on footboard). We rolled slowly back into ditch full of stinging nettles bike first then she fell into nettles then me! :eek When we got out & retrieved scooter she told me to take her straight home-thought shed get over it but she told her mum who then said "No more Pillion riding". Had 2 tickets for a WHO concert so just asked another lass at work! :lol