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General => General => Topic started by: CRH on 08 August 2012, 08:47:02 am
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it was reported last night that several members of the "Cameroon team" had gone missing!!! :eek ....mabe looking for asylum?....WELL FOLKS NOT TO PANICK?.....all now is well :) ..... they where this morning ....ALL..awarded...GOLD MEDALS!!!!!!!!!...PLUS....housing benefit....PLUS....council tax...PLUS...free prescriptions...PLUS....free school meals....etc,etc,etc, :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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was this in the Daily Mail funnies section? :rolleyes
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In the sailing, Sweden took Gold, GB took Silver and the Somali team took a retired couple from Weymouth.............
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Irish long jump champion ran out of stadium today?,as officials told him that he was ..next..for the HIGH JUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes
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another irish champion and 800mtr finalist..was today disqualified after stopping mid track ....not once?...but three times?.....twice to get his breath!!!...and once for .....directions???????????? :rolleyes ............
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The Irish synchronised swimming team were disqualified today, after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
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being an Irishman I think I'm qualified to tell the both of ye to go and fuck yerselves ;)
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being an Irishman I think I'm qualified to tell the both of ye to go and fuck yerselves ;)
.......and being a ...English man?.....i think ime qualified to tell you that there are........."3"....of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :b :b :b
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One of the athletes has been shot with a starting pistol. The police think it is race related.
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that reminds me paddy & murphy went to the job centre, they saw a sign that said : TREE FELLERS WANTED: paddy said "foc it murphy there's only 2 of us"
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I went to a mate's wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me "isn't the bride a right ugly cow".
"Do you mind? that's my daughter you're talking about" :( .
"I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were her father" :o .
"I'm not!..........I'm her mother you cheeky t %£&".
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Paddy and Mick get invited to a fancy dress party and are told to come dressed representing a feeling or emotion.
They turn up at the party and when the host opens the door he finds Paddy stark naked with his penis in a bowl of custard and Mick completely naked with a pear on his cock.
The host says what do you think you are doing, you are supposed to be dressed as emotions or feelings?
Paddy says "we have, I am f##king Dis Custed and Paddy has Cum in Dis Pear"
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NEWS FLASH......the former bike ace and silver medalist...Paddy knievel ...died today after going for gold by attempting to jump 26 double decker buses!!!!....it was reported that everything appeared to be going well"...until at approximately the 13th bus some bastard ....rang the fkn bell!!! :\ ....a former friend of paddy,s....said it was allways a dieing wish of his to be buried at ...SEA!!!!! and that ...ALL...his close friends and family to be at his graveside!! :rolleyes .....
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keep them coming there CRH you've got a gift for comedy
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The ethiopion team"..were this evening at the bedside of there...top athlete"...Annyrexia bones!, a top world class former "amazon river swimmer!!who was rushed to hospital with suspected food poisoning !! :eek .....she apparently fell into " crocodile infested waters"...and ..ate 3 before being rescued!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes ....
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..........SILVER MEDAL!!!.....Minge~eater flickclit won her first silver medal this morning!...in the all new.."piss flap tug of war",,Minge,,"ex lesbian and former bus driver from bradford"..was said by her team mates?,.." to have had .."the BIT"..between her teeth for this one!!!!!but allways knew that she could....LICK~EM!!!............ :rolleyes
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CHINESE TEAM NEWS!!.....China today released to the press that there [multy medal winner]....FOO~king~COW..has split with her husband and former coach...ONE~hung ~ LO"...LO was reported to have left london and gone back to ....WAN~king!!!!!!! :\ ........
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Jesus they are the shittist jokes ive ever read, give it up fella !
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Apparently the French would have had a great equestrian team but for one slight problem.
They ate all the horses.
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Jesus they are the shittist jokes ive ever read, give it up fella !
........well theres a simple answer to that isnt there??.....DONT FKN READ THEM!!!!! :rolleyes
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Ah, but where's the point in that!
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Its a bit hard not to read or notice them when EVERY second WORD OR thereabouts APPEARS to BE a ,,... :lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol BY A :lol:lol:lol series of shouty WORDS :lol:lol:lol:lol AND BUT VARIOUS smileys and animaTIONS!!! :lol:lol:lol:lol
It might have been awrite if the jokes were any fuckin good
The sailing one was a cracker tho
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Sh1t jokes are sh1t.
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Probably go down a storm at a BNP social though.
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Yorkshire radio had an interview on today with the next medal hopeful, Peter Sutcliffe said "he hoped to win gold with the hammer" I'll get my coat.
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Anyone see that Russian high jumper - Ivan Nokabolokov?
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...or that useless Ukrainian in the women's 400 metre hurdles - Eva Stumbelova?
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<blockquote> A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
Caller: "Goan... spelt, G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ: "... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Goan f**k yourself!"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ: "96FM, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
Caller: "Smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."
DJ: "... You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!"</blockquote>