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General => General => Topic started by: Fizzy Pies on 20 April 2014, 08:00:37 pm

Title: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Fizzy Pies on 20 April 2014, 08:00:37 pm
Thinking along the lines of what I've been asked:

"Do bikes have special tyres or are they just car tyres?"

and

"I bet you get wet on that thing when it rains"

or

"Is it cold on a bike during winter?"


whats had you  :rollin then?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: noggythenog on 20 April 2014, 08:01:55 pm





Why you got your name on your bike fraser?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: codgie on 20 April 2014, 08:08:48 pm
is it fast ????

Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 20 April 2014, 08:12:09 pm
Are the blue ones faster? :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Exupnut on 20 April 2014, 08:14:30 pm
I havn't got a bike licence but can I have a go....
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: goldfazer on 20 April 2014, 08:28:26 pm
'Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?'

Probably quite smart compared to the dumbest thing a biker has asked :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Gav on 20 April 2014, 08:38:52 pm
"Can you still ride along if you have a puncture ? "   FFS!
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: mr self destruct on 20 April 2014, 08:41:45 pm
"Are you mental?"
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 20 April 2014, 08:50:28 pm
"Are you mental?"

Answer: of course! :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: mr self destruct on 20 April 2014, 08:56:19 pm
"Are you mental?"

Answer: of course! :lol

A guy at work asked me and my reply was more like: "You have a 3/4 mile walk to the car park, a 20 minute queue to get out onto the road, straight into queueing traffic and you ask me if I'm mental?"  :D
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: adeejaysdelight on 20 April 2014, 08:57:23 pm
It always seems to be "how fast can it go?".


Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: dazza on 20 April 2014, 08:59:54 pm
Do you need a bike to do the Brands Hatch road skills day?!....Now,  who was it that said that?  :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: devilsyam on 20 April 2014, 09:18:50 pm
'Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?'

christo - wot can i do to my fazer 600 my reply paint it pink, wadda he do fitted a trailer then crashed it - moral pink was the way to go :rollin
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 20 April 2014, 09:24:27 pm
Do I hear the pained yelpings of the guy who's had his ass whipped on his own thread?

Say, Luke, when was the last time your speedy Thou (fastest thing on 2 wheels) overtook Deefer's STANDARD 600? Oh yeah, I thought not...
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: bigralphie on 20 April 2014, 09:25:22 pm
Where do sit when you go on the Chunnel ?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: JoeRock on 20 April 2014, 10:51:35 pm
Do I hear the pained yelpings of the guy who's had his ass whipped on his own thread?

Say, Luke, when was the last time your speedy Thou (fastest thing on 2 wheels) overtook Deefer's STANDARD 600? Oh yeah, I thought not...


Well it does have swingarm extensions on it, I'm surprised it even goes around corners to be honest :P

Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Frosties on 20 April 2014, 10:56:24 pm
Thinking along the lines of what I've been asked:

"I bet you get wet on that thing when it rains"

or

"Is it cold on a bike during winter?"



Both the above plus how "how fast is it" and "seriously, you don't pay Congestion Charge or Parking" - nope just a quid a day in Westminster "a feckin quid"........


Aaaaaand the classic "how many times you come off it" - feck off!! :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Punkstig on 20 April 2014, 11:12:45 pm
'must take you ages to deliver anything outside of London cause you're not allowed on the motorways are you?'

I kid you not!
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 20 April 2014, 11:14:47 pm
'must take you ages to deliver anything outside of London cause you're not allowed on the motorways are you?'

I kid you not!

Wow...

They exist!  :eek
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: fazersharp on 20 April 2014, 11:18:43 pm
Summer time if its hot
" I bet your hot in that lot arnt you"
My stock reply
"Not at 150 mate"

then I tootle off at 30---------- feckin sweating
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 20 April 2014, 11:22:19 pm
"Is it diesel or petrol?"

(Or when I had my Varadero 125):
"Is that a 400, mate?" Oh how I laughed.  :lol :lol

Or even the old favourite:

Them: "What bike is that?"
Me: "A Fazer 600"
Them: "Oh, cool - what size engine does it have? Bigger or smaller than an R1?"
Me: Facepalm.
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ogri48 on 20 April 2014, 11:54:09 pm
When I got fetched of my harley fatbob just outside of a petrol station in Peterborough by young girl in her first car, the bloke working in the garage wandered over as I was picking it up, looked at me bike and said "ahh, that's a shame, I love Harvey's..."
And there's always that bloke who says..
" I always wanted a bike but my mum wouldn't let me have one.."
"Well, why don't you get one now?"
" my wife won't let me...." :rolleyes



Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Doddsie on 20 April 2014, 11:54:56 pm
` Did I see you on a Harley earlier?`


`No`


`Oh I thought it was you in a green jacket`


` I havent got a green jacket`


` No, I didnt think you had`!!!!!!!!!!


 :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: darrsi on 20 April 2014, 11:58:57 pm
An ex girlfriends sister once asked me if that was my surname on my crash helmet..........Shoei.  :rolleyes
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: richfzs on 21 April 2014, 12:08:50 am
An ex girlfriends sister once asked me if that was my surname on my crash helmet..........Shoei.  :rolleyes


That's a bit harsh darrsi, dumping a lass because her sister's thick... :b
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: darrsi on 21 April 2014, 08:17:54 am
An ex girlfriends sister once asked me if that was my surname on my crash helmet..........Shoei.  :rolleyes


That's a bit harsh darrsi, dumping a lass because her sister's thick... :b



Is it just me, or do you get the same thing when you talk to a stranger and they find out you ride a bike, then they immediately give away their very little knowledge of bikes by saying "I've got a mate who's got an R1"


It really bugs me.  :wall
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: DekF on 21 April 2014, 10:06:54 am
'Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?'

Probably quite smart compared to the dumbest thing a biker has asked :lol

 :lol you ain't kiddin' gf
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: midden on 21 April 2014, 10:15:33 am
Who put that there?  Old git having just come back from grocers to find my bike under car. Silly sod had left handbrake off  :groan
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: red98 on 21 April 2014, 10:19:29 am
Sounds like cable adjustment at the carbs to me.....have a play with them to see whats best......sticking throttle is an mot fail, and bloogy dangerous  :eek
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: richfzs on 21 April 2014, 10:35:47 am
Sounds like cable adjustment at the carbs to me.....have a play with them to see whats best......sticking throttle is an mot fail, and bloogy dangerous  :eek


erm, how dumb is it posting in the wrong thread?  :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Exupnut on 21 April 2014, 10:40:55 am
Hahahahaha nice on rich... He's forgotten how to ride...(dunno if he ever new lol) and now he forgotten how to post...better get urself down to spec savers red..
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Oldgit on 21 April 2014, 10:46:55 am
how fast does it go, seems the dumbest question I was ever asked. :pc
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: CRH on 21 April 2014, 11:06:31 am
Sounds like cable adjustment at the carbs to me.....have a play with them to see whats best......sticking throttle is an mot fail, and bloogy dangerous  :eek
...looks like ..old timers has kicked in? :rolleyes
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: FuZzBoM on 21 April 2014, 11:54:49 am
I havn't got a bike licence but can I have a go....

+1 for that. Bloke at work asks me every time I take mine to work.
My answer is always "if you drop it you WILL damage it!" His answer "I wont drop it, I can ride a bicycle"
Yes really!! twunt
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Mark YPVS on 21 April 2014, 01:02:43 pm
I went to work on my R1, walked in wearing R1 jacket, bloke says " have you got an R1"? no I say a vespa I just wear the jacket to impress people, he still thinks I have a vespa not an R1  :rollin :rollin
Mark :)
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Hedgetrimmer on 21 April 2014, 02:13:46 pm
"Nice bike, but red ones are faster aren't they?"
 
 :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
 
Poor deluded soul.......
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: unfazed on 21 April 2014, 02:30:11 pm
Stop at a shop dressed in full leathers, helmet in hand and I'm asked "Oh! Do you ride a motorbike"? :wall
My standard answer "No I always dress like this just for the heck of it"
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: stevierst on 21 April 2014, 03:00:56 pm
Stop at a shop dressed in full leathers, helmet in hand and I'm asked "Oh! Do you ride a motorbike"? :wall
My standard answer "No I always dress like this just for the heck of it"
Yep, I go to work wearing all my kit, carrying my helmet and get asked "did you come on the bike tonight?" He's not even taking the piss either. ::)
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: bri h on 21 April 2014, 03:10:58 pm
I filled up and went to pay and the lady said are you on the bike.  I still had my helmet on. What gave it away said I. You walk funny in those boots says she.
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: codgie on 21 April 2014, 04:32:26 pm
"Nice bike, but red ones are faster aren't they?"
 
 :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
 
Poor deluded soul.......


yes everyone knows black ones are fastest
Title: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Exupnut on 21 April 2014, 04:47:55 pm
Codgie....u been at that scrumpy again....?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: The Gentleman Biker on 21 April 2014, 07:05:04 pm
I filled up and went to pay and the lady said are you on the bike.  I still had my helmet on. What gave it away said I. You walk funny in those boots says she.

Ha that's brilliant!

"I bet you're hot in that?" during Summer is the best I've had :(
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: taylor on 21 April 2014, 09:55:48 pm
shoei mc fee, :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Dave48 on 22 April 2014, 09:23:56 am
Went out one winters evening rain lashing down. to meet a group of friends. I walk into room in DRY light coat (Used Cage to get there)   -no gloves, jacket, helmet, m/c trousers or boots. One says " Are you on the bike this evening?"!!!! :rolleyes
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: MadDogMcQ on 22 April 2014, 02:14:24 pm
Full leathers, biker gloves, crash helmet. Go to barbers, have haircut and at the end he asks.... "You wanna some gel"? :-D
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Mattsplat on 22 April 2014, 02:18:58 pm
"Are you crazy?.......Your gonna die!  :D
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: taylor on 22 April 2014, 04:15:55 pm
a lady friend of mine asked once how long is your chopper :D
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChrisJH on 22 April 2014, 09:05:05 pm
standard question when someone discovers i ride a motorbike at work (its a bit corporate so mainly middle-class oxbridge second home in provence types)

"is it a Harley"

to which i reply "no", next question

"is it a chopper"

to which i reply "no" next question

"do you wear chaps"

to which i reply "no"

It might be easier and save time to explain from the outset that Easy Rider was a 1960`s film and poster from the US

to be fair the conversation in the opposite direction when i ask "do you have a boat" goes like this,

me "has it got a big feck off engine"

to which they reply "no"

me "are you rowing it"

to which they reply "no its a sailing dinghy laser class"

your thinking of Miami Vice or the University boat race




Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: NorthWestern on 22 April 2014, 09:11:31 pm
Not so much a question but a dumb saying I have heard a few times is "I'd kill myself on a bike" - like getting on one relieves them of their self preservation
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Mark YPVS on 22 April 2014, 09:16:08 pm
I was once asked why my bike was called a gene 515  :eek
No its a GENESIS :lol
Mark
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Dave48 on 22 April 2014, 09:21:12 pm
Not so much a question but a dumb saying I have heard a few times is "I'd kill myself on a bike" - like getting on one relieves them of their self preservation
Perhaps theyre concealing their fear or lack of the required skills to ride behind a sort of bravado?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Hedgetrimmer on 22 April 2014, 09:21:55 pm
"Do you know what speed you were doing sir?"   :o
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 22 April 2014, 09:29:48 pm
"Do you know what speed you were doing sir?"   :o

Oops.
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: fazersharp on 22 April 2014, 10:30:07 pm
"Do you know what speed you were doing sir?"   :o
Whats worse-- saying that you dont know how fast, or admiting that you were that fast.
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Hedgetrimmer on 22 April 2014, 10:42:03 pm
"Do you know what speed you were doing sir?"   :o
Whats worse-- saying that you dont know how fast, or admiting that you were that fast.

But I was only doing 30, honest guv  :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: cfoley on 23 April 2014, 12:45:25 am
Did you fit a bike rack on your car for it?
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: richfzs on 23 April 2014, 08:42:49 am
:rollin

Erm yeah, I call it a "trailer"
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: ChristoT on 23 April 2014, 10:12:27 am
:rollin

Erm yeah, I call it a "trailer"

At some point, I want to tow a Fazer - behind a Fazer!!! :lol
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: peterjca on 23 April 2014, 12:06:45 pm
As the biking bug was biting me in the 1980s, I started buying motorcycling magazines. I had no real idea back then what they were waffling on about (I was 15 or so I think, coulodn't drive and the family didn't have a car). My dad was silent on the issue (his brother whom I was named after died in a bike accident in WWII).

My mum didn't approve. She kept wondering aloud how there could be so much news on motorcycles every week or every month and weren't all the "stories" just boring repeats! Years later, when she saw my FZ1 she was impressed!

Apart from that possibly understandable nonsense, I have remembered a silly incident from over ten years ago. I was working at a startup and had trundled to a company to install the software we were creating. I was on my Fazer 600 at that time.

When I was done with the installation and tutorial, I called the office on my mobile from the car park. After conversing with my boss for nearly fifteen minutes, he started getting a bit flustered. He thought I was calling him on my mobile whilst riding the bike and he was fearful I would fall off!
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Farjo on 23 April 2014, 06:46:20 pm
"Eat here or take away?"
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: g5guzzi on 23 April 2014, 11:04:26 pm
Standing at a till wearing Hein gerrick jacket and trousers carrying my crash helmet I asked for some directions and the assistant asked if I was driving a car.
 
malc
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Deefer666 on 24 April 2014, 07:34:32 am
"Does it hurt if you come off?" Of course not, it feels like being licked by rainbow ponys!

"My mates got a bike, its a blue one...do you know him"  oh the bloke on the blue bike, of course I know him, why didn't you say so before? TWAT

"Looking at you I would have thought you would ride a Harley" What? Are you calling me a homosexual?

"Why do you have a bike that does 160 if you only allowed to do 70 in this country?" Why the fuck does your car do 110 then?

"Why is one of your brakes hydraulic and one cable?" (looking at the levers on the bars) There are no words that can be used to respond to a question like this just a head shake and a slow walk away
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: Robbie8666 on 24 April 2014, 10:52:43 am
when I got my brand new BMWF650 in 96 rode round to show parents & mum asked " where's the number plate?" she meant the one on the front as the last bike they had in '63 was a BSA lol!
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: MEM62 on 24 April 2014, 12:11:03 pm
:lol quality, a bloke at work insists my bike is a fraser despite numerous times of me telling him, i gave up in the end

That's funny - I used to have a Honda Fireplace. 
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: robby boy on 24 April 2014, 10:32:03 pm
"Are motorcycles not dangerous?"
Title: Re: Whats the dummest thing a non biker has asked you?
Post by: rustyrider on 25 April 2014, 04:07:04 pm
At some point, I want to tow a Fazer - behind a Fazer!!! :lol
Well, you're half way there.  You just need the running Fazer to do the towing........