'Dish it' Funny bike accidents you've had

[joebloggs]

One of mine (there are many)

Two up and late for work I was using the back roads to save going through several villages with 30mph limits, I turned into this junction that had recently been re-tarmacked (loose chippings) Now it had been a few weeks since they resurfaced the road and mostly the loose stuff was gone, save for the perfect triangle left on the junction that I was now aiming for. Luckily for me it was quite a tight turn so my speed was probably less than 10mph when the front end tucked under, also fortunately I had seen said gravel and new exactly what was coming, unlike my ex mrs who was doing her usual cling on for dear life, who, in hindsight should have let go of the grabrail that she so heavily relied on.
As the front end tucked I stuck a foot down and let go of the handlebars allowing the bike to slide from beneath me, I landed on my arse, facing my previous direction of travel just in time to watch my ex, still clinging onto that bloody grabrail, slide straight down the road......

[7omly]

As daft as this sounds it is true. At the tender age of seventeen I had a Vespa PX200E. In those days scooters had the clutch/gears on the left handlebar. I agreed to deliver a few papers for my idle younger brother and pulled up outside the houses. I switched the ignition off and put the bike on its main stand. When I returned to the bike I switched the ignition on and standing next to the bike I kick started it. To my utter horror the feckin' thing fired up and jumped off the stand and ran riderless down the road. To make things worse it hit the only parked vehicle on the road, an old mini van. I'll never forget the look on the van owners face when he ran out of his house. He looked down at the bright orange scooter lying on it's side revving away merrily. The astonished look on his face when he clapped eyes on me standing about a hundred yards down the road was priceless. 

[slappy]

Scarborough races 1974, me on my new Yamaha RD250, 17 years old thought I was cool as foc, so busy staring at the birds arse on the back of the bike in front of me I didn't notice the queue of bikes had come to stop, just missed rear ending the bike in front but went sliding down on the grass in front of all my mates, I was called grass eater for the next few months.

[fireblake]

It was a really hot day in North Devon. A friend and I had just thrashed our FireBlades along the A39 Atlantic highway. Feeling totally exhilarated we popped into a pub in Westward Ho! A quick pint of wife beater and we got into a great chat with the landlord who then gave us a pint on the house. Afterwards I was feeling just a little bit giddy, dehydration and the beer went to my head. As I was a half a mile from where we were staying we rode the bikes. I was in front going along the one way street and looking in my mirrors looking for my mate. Suddenly the car I was behind stopped. I was doing about 10 mph but the awesome Blade brakes stopped the bike on a six pence causing a completely verticle stoppie. I thought I was going to go right over but the bike reach its zenith and held itself there for a few seconds, the the steering realised it still worked and dropped over on its side pinning me underneath. The peeps in the car were out in a flash but my mate popped his side stand down and just about managed to get off before rolling on the floor laughing his head off.
Fairing cracked and scratched was the only damage thankfully and a lesson learnt. What a dick head.

[joebloggs]

Was at Donnington park for a BSB round and went off looking for firewood (Look it made sense at the time) on my old Katana, my friend was on the back and we'd been hitting some stupid speeds on the grass without so much as a slide until we stopped we then promptly fell over, now Katana's weren't the lightest bikes ever built and when we realised we were stuck we roared with laughter, which really didn't help. Some fellow campers helped us out by lifting the bike off us, we'd still be there now if it wasn't for them. So we jumped back on and still crying with laughter, I dropped the clutch and we fell over the other way. Was a very funny moment.....

[sadlonelygit]

in 36 years of riding bikes i've never done anything stupid........apart from the time when i was rebuilding my z1000 and had to go to a moped mayhem meeting, so lashed up a front brake and promised myself to 'take it steady'. put a nice chamfer on a brand new genny casing around a corner that suddenly appeared when i was chasing a mate through some unfamiliar lanes. lots of back brake and 'foc..foc..foc...foc...foc'.
or the time on a ratty old dt175 twin shock with the ex on the back, giving it billy big balls at the lights when the clutch cable snapped, front went up, ex went down and i went running off down the street with a bike on full throttle.
or the time we were rebuilding my mates x7 and it refused to start, so we bumped it down our back lane. later found out he had put the slides in the wrong way so it was on full throttle............when it fired up with me sidesaddle at the helm.

[fazerscotty]

One of mine (there are many)

Two up and late for work I was using the back roads to save going through several villages with 30mph limits, I turned into this junction that had recently been re-tarmacked (loose chippings) Now it had been a few weeks since they resurfaced the road and mostly the loose stuff was gone, save for the perfect triangle left on the junction that I was now aiming for. Luckily for me it was quite a tight turn so my speed was probably less than 10mph when the front end tucked under, also fortunately I had seen said gravel and new exactly what was coming, unlike my ex mrs who was doing her usual cling on for dear life, who, in hindsight should have let go of the grabrail that she so heavily relied on.
As the front end tucked I stuck a foot down and let go of the handlebars allowing the bike to slide from beneath me, I landed on my arse, facing my previous direction of travel just in time to watch my ex, still clinging onto that bloody grabrail, slide straight down the road......

Now this reminds me of an incident my wife had when she had a Mk 1 350 YPVS......... (I was pillion  )
We were on the way back from a rally, I'd had a drop too much ale the night before, hence the pillion position. Going round an unfamiliar roundabout on the outskirts of Abergavenny, she took the wrong exit.......
Then decided to make a U turn straight after the triangular island......just where all the gravel was........on a peaky 2 stroke.
Once it decided it was going down, I stood up off the bike leaving her to wrestle the thing to the ground 
We still laugh about it....honest!
Then thee was that time............ 

[fireblake]

There was that time when i worked for a local courier company. We did a lot of work for a local but International engineering company and used to run small essential bits of expensive metal all over the UK. It was winter and bloody cold and i was riding my Honda VT500E with a rather heavy Pantera full fairing back from Bristol and it started snowing, I had to stop at a set of lights near Yeovil and promptly locked up and dropped the bike. No harm done but pride. The problem was trying to pick the bike up, as i lifted it the wheels would slide away leaving me to gently lower the bike back down. 5 attempts at this was causing me to get very hot and sweaty in my winter clobber. eventually the bike has slid to the curb where i could then get some purchase and finally lift the bike up.
 I can laugh about it now

[JoeRock]

Few I've had:


Had an accident on my 600 hornet, so was given a bandit 650 as a hire bike. First bike with a centre stand, and was also a heavy bastard compared to the hornet. Standing in a petrol station (back against the pumps), put it onto the centre stand. Except what actually happened was my foot slipped out on diesel. Rather than drop the hire bike, I decided to pull it towards me, which basically resulted with me sitting against the pumps with the bike pinning my legs down. I can't move, and the only chap around was a tiny little old Chinese guy, who managed to lift the bike just enough that I could wriggle out and lift it up myself!


Second one, 125 battery was flat one winter, so I decided to bump start it. Foot slips on ice as i'm running along and my hand slipped off the clutch so it fired, and promptly pulled me straight into the back of my neighbours car, putting a nice big tyre shaped dent in the rear.


Third one, just fitted hard panniers to the hornet that stuck out a fair old way. Went to park in my local ASDA car park (which has bollards around the bike bays). Girlfriend on the back says "it won't fit" - I completely forgot about the panniers and so went straight into the bollard. Pannier was fine, but the bike got dropped onto the bollard on the other side, putting a big fat dent in the tank and jamming the bloody thing in between the two!