Got the sons Fiesta 1.25 insured for under £1000 (just) but as soon as he passes his test you have to tell them and they requote extortionate figures (£5000+) for TPFT.

Thieving robbing bastewards the lot of them!

Got one reasonable quote so far of £413 from Bike Insurer and now his existing company (Rampdale) haev quoted £386.85 which is not too bad compared with the Swinton quote of £1000 or the Be-Wiser quote of £1900!!!!!!!!

Not whilst riding, but whilst driving down the M23 last night. An ambulance, obviously in a hurry, with blues and twos going doing about 80mph (i was keeping pace at a reasonable distance) in the middle lane was overtaken by a matt black, 61 plate Audi A7 driven by a complete knob!

30 seconds later we hit the roadworks and the tail end of the traffic jam meaning that the amnulance then had to try to get back past the knob in the Audi.

Mr A7 Driver, you are a cock!

The Royal Navy is proud of its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence. The next five ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist.  Costing £850 million each, they meet the needs of the 21st century and comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights laws.  The new user-friendly crow's nest comes equipped with wheelchair access. Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims. Stress counsellors and lawyers will be on duty 24hrs a day and each ship will have its on-board industrial tribunal.  The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexuality and disability. Sailors will only have to work a maximum of 37hrs per week in line with Brussels Health & Safety rules, even in wartime! All the vessels will come equipped with a maternity ward and nursery, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco.  Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but cannabis will be allowed in the wardroom and messes. The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for; "Rum, sodomy and the lash"; so out has gone the occasional rum ration which is to be replaced by sparkling water. Although sodomy remains, it has now been extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available but only on request. Condoms can be obtained from the Bosun in a variety of flavours, except Capstan Full Strength.  Saluting officers has been abolished because it is deemed elitist and is to be replaced by the more informal, "Hello Sailor". All information on notices boards will be printed in 37 different languages and Braille. Crew members will now no longer be required to ask permission to grow beards or moustaches - this applies equally to women crew members.  The MoD is working on a new "non-specific" flag because the White Ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities. The Union Flag had already been discarded.  The newly re-named HMS Cautious is due to be commissioned soon in a ceremony conducted by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull. She will gently slide into the water as the Royal Marines Band plays "In the Navy" by the Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of illegal immigrants across the channel to ports on England's south coast.  The Prime Minister said, "While these ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking, they are also capable of being up-graded to comply with any new legislation coming out of Brussels."  His final words were, "Britannia waives the rules!"

My neighbour is in the process of selling his motorbike because DVLA "lost" his entitlement. Their resposne was for him to retake his test or prove he had passed it. The latter is a bit difficult as he passed in the 1970's and sent them the pass certificate at the time to update his licence.

Getting on a bit now he has decided to go for one of teh Piaggio (I think) three wheelers with the wider front track than means he can ride it on his car licence!

I took a copy of mine before sending it back but also have one that I lost, then found, as further proof. (I know I was meant to send it back once I found it )

It cost £24:50 doing it through the post office so not too bad if you have to get photos done as the photo is included in teh cost.

My photocard was due to expire in a couple of weeks so I used the Post Office service to renew it on Monday and then went away for work for a few days.
When I got home last night my replacement licence had arrived! Not only that, but they managed to keep all the groups on there that I had before too!

IIRC, there is no Dynojet kit for the FZS but a K&N with a non-standard exhaust makes a big difference to the power characteristics of the 600cc engine.

Some of the toys you can get are Digi-Gear indicator (OK if you cannot count), differnt screens to give different wind buffeting, loud exhausts, heated grips, panniers and boxes, crash bungs, lower fairings, belly pans, anodised bolt kits, scottoilers, different gearing through changing the sprokets, custom seats, etc etc etc.

Aren't bennets just brokers though?

I had issues in the past with one of the brokers that insited that the bike could not be left outside the house at all even to dry off after being washed in the middle of the day. They got told to foc off too!

Nowhere near as good as some of the others on here but I will still post these two.
 

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Mik, you need to explain to teh wife that the gun was there before she was

I have a Berreta Semi-Auto but have also got a few others on my licence and in my cabinet including an old Arglye Company single barrel job that now belongs to my 16yr old son!

Dont get out anywhere near enough due to work and kids rugby. Same reason as the bike doesnt get used really.

Back to the shirts...... The big question Looney is why are you asking this? Your Mrs should be the one worrying about it not you

Failing that, stick them in teh tumble drier to dry and hang them up straight from there. I have been told by others that this works.

I know a bloke from work who was diagnosed and "lost one" as a result. Since then he has gone on to have two kids the normal way.