Fazer Owners Club - Unofficial
General => General => Topic started by: Looney tune on 08 August 2014, 08:37:54 am
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Seen this elsewhere and thought I would put it on here. Add to the story with only 3 words, I'll start it off.
Once upon a …..
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In a land
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Far, far, away
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in a cave
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Eating a mammoth
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was a yeti
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with a big
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knife and fork.
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After his meal
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was his last.
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cigarette he smoked
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because he died.
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then he rose
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and decided to
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To eat something
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less fatal instead
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Which was quite
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Annoying because he
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really liked cyanide
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but chose sweetcorn
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which made him
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die. The End.
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Suddenly his wife
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Cheered thank fook
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And phoned his
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Bank manager to
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rekindle their affair
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with the strange
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Growth on his
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bell end. Meanwhile
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the undertaker drained
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and took advantage
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of his wife
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by pumping her
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in all holes
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very full of
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shovel baked pizza !!!!!
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that dribbled out
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to form a
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a grotesque new
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modern art exhibit
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Which looked quite
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Cold melted cheese
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covered with green
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jelly like goo
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which smelled like
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rancid fanny juice
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and tasted of
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Chicken curry sauce
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Out of date
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undertaker promptly puked
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all over the
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poor womans fanny
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which started to
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resemble a custard
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cremes and a
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Carrot pavement pizza
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that a tramp
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Would happily munch
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with a straw
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unless he used
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a tea strainer
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Pulled from his
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Spongy prison pocket
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with free sweetcorn
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Sir with that
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carrots aren't problematic
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Try adding snot
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, helps it slide
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in easily to
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the really squidgy
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Side of the
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dark and warm
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Room with a
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smelly en-suite
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Which is a
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Luxury compared to
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The Casino Royal
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selling cheap beer
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Out the back
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Of her sphincter
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which she lovingly
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painted with creosote
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allowing her to
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avoid premature rotting
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Which is handy
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for all those
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Dodgy dealings shes
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dealing from her
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Manky looking snatch,
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When she went
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shopping at Iceland
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For a cucumber
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for a Salad
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She bumped into
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a huge walrus
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named erry atona
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Three foccers came
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On her face
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while whistling dixie
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bunch of perverts
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holding sausage rolls
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with their anus
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meanwhile somewhere abroad
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A German Pervert
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pulled a sausage
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roll out of
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the gamekeepers bag
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he keeps his
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darkest secrets there!
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just like Fritzl
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That fooking perv
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from near Thornhill.
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The wild west
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of Southampton town
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Where Clint lives
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in a hole
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Just outside Bolton
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the shittiest town
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In England so
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while i was
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having a shite
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and a shave
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I slashed my
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Eyebrow and it
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totally bled everywhere
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just like a
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A eyebrow would
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given a whack
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With a bat
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Brian then woke
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With a banging
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Housewife wearing nothing
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again......randy sod
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he took out
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a leather belt
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With the idea
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that he could
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Lash her bangers
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Together for fun
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the belt wasn't
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big enough to
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hold your pants
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and out fell
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Out onto her
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soaking wet snatch
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and slipped off
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and hit his
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helmet on the
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Shelf below the
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curtains, he shoved
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his head in
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A brand new
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land rover discovery
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As he always
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liked the smell
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On the gearknob
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some wankers here
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over there too
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always about sex
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When they should
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never comment on
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Bikes they own
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unless its good
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Weather to Brag
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about Fazer virtues
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That everyone enjoys
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unless its blue
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Then its porn
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not good porn
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So everyone does
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agree its about
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Bikes not porn
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or beef curtains?
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Or flowery curtains
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pull yourself together
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Said the doctor
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as he drank........
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His weird brew
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a cocktail of
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Brasso & gin
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Atta local gentlemans
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club as he
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pondered what to
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do with his
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new shinny tongue
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time to experiment
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he thought purposely
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now, if only
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I could become
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female, frank maloney
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did it, why
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ever should they
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Show his balls
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on the TV
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or even in
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a ring piece
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Whist still on
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His Wifes Sister
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he dreams about
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Lenox Lewis's nob
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Was a lot
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better than Leona's
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Two as she
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has two too!
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Desmond not impressed :eek
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his was tiny
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so was his
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nose. he could
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Push that right
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in her ear.
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But when dark,
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it lit up.
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Like a beacon
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in the fog
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a horn was
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extremely loud and
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woke everybody up
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Bright and early
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one Christmas day
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Christmas again he
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said choking on
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a nice pie
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Almost choking himself
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with one hand
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While using the
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self flagellating device
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his back was
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sliced and diced
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so badly it
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leaked bodily fluids
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over her arse
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. She loved it!
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and wanted more
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And more so
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He reloaded his
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Peashooter ready to
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pump it up
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and squirt again
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'Crikey' he exclaimed!
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I haven't use
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this piece of
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Of equipment for
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a long time
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last time was
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When Exupnut took
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Dazza's then wife
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I equipment to
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use the strap-on
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With gusto until
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Exupnuts eyes popped
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At mrs bbb's arse
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At mrs bbb's arse
That's 4 words you illiterate twat....post void
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(lol.., aint we ad this convo before?)
AT MRS BBB'S....
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Arse which was
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warm and pulsating
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While cracking coconuts
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and performing curcumcisions
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leaving lots of
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the skins beside
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the bedside table
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Meanwhile exupnut couldn't
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Get gay porn
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So he just
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Lurpacked his ahole :D
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Dazza was jealous
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and wanted to
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Lube his own
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Motorcycle chain. It
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left marks that
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Madame whiplash would
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recognise as being
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a dirty slag
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Who was begging
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for a double
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bubble screen. She
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got double entered
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and liked it
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both ends up
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her sweet tasting
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Pink and brown
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Prolapsed coconut hole
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Bigbluebear needs laying
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Every foccing day
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By a gay
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No, not you
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You're too small
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So's his fanny
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packed with money
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That makes him
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come in till
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there is mould
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On bbb's ringpiece
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needs licking off
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Are you volunteering
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He said hopefully
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More tea vicar
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pass the milk
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as he sucked.
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Mrs exups tits
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Like a novice
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Couple of swingers :eek
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at the party
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when suddenly she
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dropped her beer
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Then her pants
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While laughing at
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the albino transvestite
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drinking draft Guinness
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can have a
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Unpleasant experience because
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No loo roll
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Means shitsplattered kecks
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Awkward walk home
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and some expaining
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about the mess
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but was forgiven
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Only if he
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Licked the wife's.....
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extremely hairy armpits
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Ah, my favourite
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Tuck in then
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Best with butter
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Hehe, 5 hours on, I can't really have stopped it dead can I? :rollin
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and lime marmalade
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And armpit sweat
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and with Tabacaso
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splattered all over
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makes it more
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irresistible to tongue
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quivering rapidly at
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Her quivering quim
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already dripping with.....
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accountant to say
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Where's the receipt?
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but she had
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paid for it
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with just a
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bank standing order
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and little money
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from her bra
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put on backwards
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just in case
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She knocked out
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a passing policeman
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who tried to.....
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Stick his truncheon
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Where she didn't
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think he could
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but it fitted
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9''and spare
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space was available
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and felt enormous
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Despite her lopsided
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tunnel of love
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all wet and
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Here, watch this
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the ultimate show
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on the BBC
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After the watershed
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grunting and moaning
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Bigbluebear and exupnut
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Spit roasting Richiefzs
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Asked for that!
:rollin
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So you're gay
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As you wish
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Suits you sir
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I don't like
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Women, only men
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I can't deny
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It was good
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As you've sucked
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the filling out
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Oh dear Gays
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Said Lew exiting
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Got that right
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Exactly.....the closet
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did not close
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and out came
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a gimp masked
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Richfzs wearing frilly
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But sturdy handcuffs
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and leg irons
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Tied to bigbluebear
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whilst punching Christo
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Ineffectively and pathetically. ;)
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but KO'd him
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In his dreams
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wet ones too
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For he's gay
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as they come
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usually on Hog's
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wearing arseless leather
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And nipple clamps
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supplied by Christo
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From Frosties closet
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which also contained
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His huge dildo
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which he loved
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Sticking up Exupnut
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whilst Bigbluebear watched
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Licking his lips
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holding BBROWN1664 tightly
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And talking dirty
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To Frosties japseye
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which looked sore
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After hard rubbing
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with a cheesegrater
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Leaving Christo speechless
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while he looked
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On in disgust
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At his erection
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Richfzs was sucking
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all the way
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The life from
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The small phallus
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I feel ill
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said Richfzs after
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(oh god) swallowing
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Frosties's dripping load
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from the wart
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That's BBROWN's willy!
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in the supermodel
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Despite her transgender
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Attributes hangin' free
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in Christos mouth
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THIS IS GOING TOO FAR!!!!!!!
I'M OUTA HERE (my three words)
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Bigbluebear pussied out... :lol
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Fucking biker forum for fucks sake
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in Christos mouth
which were sucked
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Whilst Frosties eagerly
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waited for Richfzs
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But he wasn't
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submissive like Exupnut
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quite the opposite
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He was a
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Target for everything
:rollin
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a complete bullseye
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Or maybe japseye
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but with maggots
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for cleaning wounds
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crawling out the
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Hairy neverhealing wound
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Realisation hit him
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the pubs open
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(Lol)
So he ordered
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dry roasted nuts
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and jalapeños with
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extra pork scratchings
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in a pint
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of crème d'menthe
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with shots of
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baileys dropped in
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ensuring he puked
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all over Christo
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who loved the
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taste being French
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The snails helped
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him stop crashing
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.slime is sticky
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so is cum
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he thought as
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he licked her.........
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never ending toenails
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that had not
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ever been manicured
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since she last
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Caught them in
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a car door
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which bloody hurt
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but the door
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just got scratched
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By her stubble
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. It cut deep
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and sheared the
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hinges right off
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Her flanged wAzoo
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which hurt like
-
plucking pubic hairs
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Stringing her Ukelele
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and twisting her
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body hair using
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a food mixer
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Into a long
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unbreakable Ukulele strings
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Maybe a banjo?
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said the cat
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To the ferret
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going up the
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Long black escalator
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to ferret heaven
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Where he would
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eat that cat!
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with brown sauce
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and pickled cabbage
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Or Polish Kapusta
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and a nice Chianti
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on one leg
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Said Rolf Harris
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in his cell
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with two little
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Now defunct paintbrushes
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'working in oils'
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painting our nuts
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Shooting his bolt
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through one eye
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and out his
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wooden horse's woodworm
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can't get wood
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to light the
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fire deep inside
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His new cellmate's
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beko washing machine
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Singing his socks
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that smell like
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stinky bishops finger
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in a glass
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old rancid pee
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with a small
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toe nail clipping
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for decoration purposes
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in her hair
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and her teeth
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Black and curly
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Like a witches
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furry black cat
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with matted hair
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tempting you to
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shoot it quickly
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up its arse
-
minding the vegetation
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That italian women
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with the huge
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prolapsed colon hanging
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Loose and free
-
ready to be
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Pounded senseless by
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mike tysons brother
-
In the meantime
-
back in Balamory
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it was raining
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cats and dogs
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(it is Scotland)
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said Postman Pat
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stroking his cat
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He likes Pussy.
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though hands suffice
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over the wrist
-
using a gentle
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PH neutral handcream
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Containing jojoba extract
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And horse sperm
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to bind it
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With a lot...
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of head scratching
-
To see what
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could be done
-
With the crabs
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From Exupnut's bumhole
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running for freedom
-
crying for help
-
"Fuck off christo"
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(Exup making friends) ;)
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:lol in unlikely places
-
With a transvestite
-
Behind a Mercedes
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Ont'North Circular
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Near a roundabout
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Up the A1
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Near kerbed varadero
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And a ZX4
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And a Peugeot
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Christo's mechanical graveyard
-
is the rain
-
Yes. Moving on:
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and sliding down
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The slippery slope
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To MrsHarryHornby's BURGER
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Which was munched :eek
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but was hairy
-
As McDonalds hadn't
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shaved it clean
-
The dirty fuckers
-
like hairy burgers
-
I do not.
-
he said unconvincingly
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To the transvestite
-
before he plucked
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A plucky plucker
-
out of his
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Distorted and leaky
-
severely infected mind
-
filled with thoughts
-
And dark things..................
-
only he understood
-
Suddenly thirsty hedgehog
-
Downing his pint
-
and spilling it
-
On the lawn
-
Kicked the transvestite
-
into the shrubbery
-
And shouted loudly
-
For a machete
-
Which was handed
-
carefully to the
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Hedgehog. Forcefully he
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Fell over backwards
-
castrating himself slowly
-
And more besides
-
it cut through
-
his Jägermeister drip
-
which then spurted
-
pure spirits everywhere
-
Meanwhile, at the
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Walton farmhouse, grandpa
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Was having a
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triple heart attack
-
caused by horse
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with eleven legs
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And no shoes
-
An eight foot
-
was huge, almost
-
As big as
-
an enormous phallus
-
shaped like a
-
large phallus. Unsurprisingly. :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
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It was illegal
-
But noone cared
-
As they ogled
-
Christo slide it
-
Slowly into BBROWN!
-
sauce on bread
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with cheesy peas
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and mushroom silicone
-
Waterproofing the crack
-
with some semen, ;)
-
the French way
-
To make crepes
-
and canapés with
-
slugs and snails
-
Delicious! He exclaimed
-
adding more garlic
-
To the feast
-
washing it down with
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a Broon Ale
-
but didn't know
-
how good English
-
Beers were until
-
he tasted a
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Pint of Wherry
-
and pished the
-
whole lot away
-
Against the barmaid
-
without any knickers.
-
With a dildo
-
Behind her ear
-
(Fucking her brains?)
-
and a strap-on
-
used very gently
-
On a tender
-
part of the
-
butchers chopping block
-
was a 9inch,
-
blunt headed instrument
-
known as a
-
mighty plunger. The
-
Courtroom heard that....
-
he was guilty
-
Of cinema seat
-
down the front
-
ejaculation of vomit
-
. It's started again
-
on Monday morning
-
Down the Docks
-
Tied to a
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Enormous Jerry Helmet
-
on the quayside
-
completely bollock naked
-
apart from a
-
Japs eye plug
-
Forced in with
-
a wooden mallet
-
And some splinters
-
forced through the
-
helmet sideways. Prince
-
Albert shagged Victoria
-
Sponge and a
-
Spotted Dick as
-
desert. Custard too!
-
was shot everywhere
-
as he hit
-
a little split
-
with a fat
-
maggot in his
-
in his nostril
-
resides a spider
-
chasing a fly
-
into a hole
-
New dimension, eagerly
-
await next episode
-
Of Star Wars
-
Which'll be shit
-
Abbreviations do not
-
While the oil
-
melts the end
-
of the candle
-
which was in
-
Beethoven's lug hole
-
Not his ring
-
cos it stank
-
Of shit symphonies
-
And syphilis. Suddenly
-
Erupting forth violently
-
on to the
-
Paper before him
-
(The Magna Carta)
-
was a frenchman
-
Like Big Mac!
-
il est French?
-
Vichy Mother Fuckers
-
at the market
-
selecting the Cheval
-
Findus rules OK
-
Findus Cheval crepes
-
il est French?
il est francias.
but you need them wee squiggly bits
-
Par pour moi
-
oh oui moi
-
Plein de merde
-
dans votre baguette
-
fromage à pâte
-
de la fissure
-
Back to english
-
not understanding it
-
Merde peut etre?
-
get a dickshunery
-
rydym am cymraeg,
-
Verdad, sois estupidos.
-
don't credo hynny,
-
ipse clamans dixit
-
amor enim sui
-
siput zakar ditunggang
-
Bile yer heed
-
thread's gone bollox
-
showing his head.
-
above the parapet
-
Tweeted the Budgie
-
Scaring the cat
-
which then ran
-
up the curtains
-
tearing them up
-
ripping them down
-
Like a virgins
-
skin tight damp
-
but very eager
-
Identical twin sister
-
Notwithstanding the wort
-
on his dick
-
was a slippery
-
Macdonalds burger gherkin
-
chewy buy sour.
-
the clap clinic
-
does special offers
-
for syphilitic Foccers :eek
-
and those with
-
large hanging warts
-
and ripe dangleberries
-
Picked by Gypsies
-
Sniffin pixie dust
-
Up a straw
-
strapped to their
-
Thermal Coupled AirSausage
-
resembling a zeppelin
-
Full of Germans
-
With spiked helmets
-
and huge erections
-
which where used
-
to rob banks
-
while wearing lederhosen
-
which really chaffed
-
when going commando
-
On shwarzenneger's ass
-
with Wiener Schnitzel
-
up Merkels chuff
-
hot dog sauce
-
In pubic hair
-
which ran from
-
a large dispenser
-
In the bog
-
Of Fungus Bogeyman
-
who,s chocolate starfish
-
was gaping open
-
Showing his breakfast
-
Roids aswell as
-
His bus pass
-
even though he
-
was at work
-
in a brothel
-
Tending his sprouts
-
and long stalk
-
like a madman
-
Knocking one out
-
to the tune
-
Flight of bumblebee
-
in the hive
-
Makin love honey
-
sweet and sticky
-
dripping all over........
-
Her warm baps
-
made in the
-
back of an
-
ice cream van
-
Without road tax
-
and flat tyres
-
Chimes fading gently
-
as he jerks
-
Chicken and pork
-
legs and sword
-
From the oven
-
in one quick
-
Movement. He then
-
enters with his
-
Schlong swinging wildly
-
to the beat
-
of the drum.
-
Exhausted, he sat
-
In Santa's lap
-
and asked for
-
Three Hail Mary's
-
and a blowjob
-
in thanks for
-
helping santa's elves
-
Shovel reindeer shit
-
into the reindeer
-
Shite collector box
-
to be dumped
-
on VNA's doorstep
-
with juice streaming
-
Over the jocks
-
Jockie jock strap
-
English dildo fucker
-
Born in Scotland
-
With English parents
-
Adopted by gaywegians
-
Shared with cockneys
-
Fookin' Northerners! Anyway,
-
Walliam Foccin willisers
-
(The twat) was
-
(The twat) was
Shagging your bitch
-
He's a virgin
-
Christo's arse aint
-
Nor BBB's, he
-
Does cockshaped shit
-
And loves gloryholes
-
or dark tunnels
-
male or female
-
No... Definately male
-
With that odor
-
His Gimp Mask
-
started to crack
-
around the ears
-
Bigger than Rosbergs
-
but not as
-
gigantic as big
-
blue bear when
-
A horse shagged
-
Christo when Christo
-
was bending over
-
picking up clinkers
-
That he eats
-
that where fired
-
From Savilles arse
-
which was rotting
-
and falling apart
-
Like a rancid
-
Turd...meanwhile Christo
-
had an idea
-
that BigBlueBear was
-
Perfectly suited for
-
the little frenchman
-
In drag who
-
Resembled girly BBrown1664's
-
Recently deflowered fanny
-
it remained tight
-
Despite repeated pounding
-
with telegraph pole
-
but what wrecked
-
His backside more
-
was the curry
-
From Spring Meet
-
but the meat
-
was from the
-
Rabid squirrel testicles
-
found in Wales
-
halfway up Snowdon
-
putrefied over months
-
In Noggy's fuel
-
Efficient Ferengi starship
-
. well his starfish
-
was having fun
-
as it chundered
-
Around making profit
-
from a hopeless
-
flap of skin
-
on it's rear
-
. Meanwhile in Hollywood
-
pussy is freshest
-
remake starts soon
-
without any foccers
-
because gay porn
-
didn't need them
-
Any more. Meanwhile,
-
back in London
-
They all went...
-
Round to Red98's
-
with a tin of
-
Vaseline and a................
-
A bullhorn which
-
on animal farm
-
Got Red98's old
-
Donkey more than
-
ready for the
-
Farmyard Christmas Party
-
With bestiality involved
-
and the film
-
being a donkey
-
was in blackpool
-
on the beach
-
They sniffed crack
-
In Red98's safe
-
Was a turd
-
Slow and red
-
fast and silver
-
Both deluded. Next,
-
the turd turned
-
To public transport
-
and travelled to
-
the shopping arcade
-
to space dock
-
With a cake
-
in tin foil :rollin
-
Underpants which held
-
a docking station ?
-
For his portable
-
tin foiled turd
-
not to be
-
Confused with a
-
Foiled turd tin
-
Like the one
-
frozen in foil :rollin
-
trimmed pants which
-
People always confused
-
with big pants
-
on big girls
-
with big tits
-
Or hairy moobs
-
and betty swallocks
-
Telling Sadlonelygit to
-
suck on them
-
to cypher petrol
-
encrypting as he
-
encrypting as he
That's 4 words ya thick gay foccer :groan :lol
Fixed that back
-
to get the
-
hairs stuck in
-
back of throat
-
that made him
-
heartily throw up.....
-
all the snails
-
Which reeked of
-
Red98's colostomy bag
-
Which BigMac had
-
kept his goldfish
-
in for warmth
-
Although Red98 had
-
Christo's love child
-
And named him
-
DeadEye. He was
-
the spitting image
-
of Nigel Farage
-
but even uglier
-
With MG parts
-
covered in rust
-
his sheriffs badge
-
Was severely slackened
-
by a large
-
rampant rabbit tucked
-
Into his underpants
-
cuddling his balls
-
With a gnarled
-
Hairy Virgin bollock
-
from a dog
-
added for fun
-
but it did
-
take a shine
-
To his flacid
-
egg on toast
-
covered with Marmite
-
And slobbering wildly.
-
On Christo's gay
-
Mastiff pup which
-
Bit Exupnut's bollox
-
then ran away
-
with the knob
-
from a large
-
Piece of Christmas
-
Suckling pig which
-
Was roasted in
-
a Tandoor in
-
The deep recesses
-
Of my mind
-
for 30 minutes
-
Well done. Yum!
-
that tastes good
-
Better than Doritos?
-
Mexican sick on
-
flakes of dried
-
Dandruff with salsa
-
liberally splattered on
-
His Rukka suit
-
not being waterproof
-
While adamantly disagreeing
-
with his mum
-
In falsetto tone
-
about the best
-
Time to play.........
-
with his large
-
Thousand cc motorbike
-
Annoying the neighbours
-
with his nudity
-
While pulling wheelie
-
with a hole
-
butler to tell
-
His big bullshit
-
to the police
-
And the vicar
-
While kiddy fiddling
-
brasso out wiggins
-
told the congregation
-
Thou shall not
-
hide one's chicken
-
under your veg
-
instead put it.......
-
in a very
-
Well preheated oven
-
gas mark 69
-
until it orgasm's
-
Like a nun
-
spit roasted over
-
a suckling pig
-
so her juices
-
taste so sweet
-
and add a
-
pubic hair garnish
-
with crusty brown
-
dangleberries sprinkled over
-
blood stained pants
-
After partying at
-
Michael Barrymore pool
-
without drowning yourself
-
and making up
-
a wet pussy
-
wetter than a
-
Whore on Viagra
-
whose stiff neck
-
caused embarrassment to
-
the Albanian biker
-
Christo was mooning
-
In an attempt
-
to woo him
-
into a compromising
-
position in Britany
-
on the beach
-
without his special
-
Gaelic snail sauce
-
(Hahahaha) so instead he
-
used his own
-
supply of jism
-
to slick back
-
His bum chum's
-
hairy crack. undeterred
-
he proceeded to
-
wreck another bike
-
And a car
-
within a few
-
hours of returning
-
with the insurance
-
Outrageously high AGAIN
-
his hard on
-
failed to materialise
-
While observing females
-
through the toilet
-
cubicle wall holes
-
as he jerked........
-
to the thought
-
Of Elton John
-
riding his face
-
Fudnut's bollox were
-
beginning to chafe
-
On the chains
-
tied to the
-
F1 car driven
-
by a girl
-
Fudnut being towed
-
using her big
-
bangers which clapped
-
Themselves firmly around
-
a pole which
-
Fudnut Fudnut Fudnut
-
Was penetrated by
-
Fudnut Fudnut Fudnut
-
FUDNUT A BELLEND !!!
-
(On here 1 day and already cussin....you'll do well....FUDNUT)
Fudnut Fudnut Fudnut
-
Give up, Fuddikins
-
Fudnut Fudnut Fudnut
-
anyone for tennis
-
with his boll erks
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Three FOCCIN words
-
who's foccin fudnuts
-
VNA and Lew :D
-
Pair of fudnuts
:rollin
-
Had a duel
-
With Simple Simon
-
Complaining about it
-
Again and again
-
Scottish Independence again
-
will still remain
-
a pipe dream
-
stuffed in a
-
tatty old suitcase
-
with a dog
-
And shrodinger's cat
-
In several pieces
-
all mixed up
-
Shaken not stirred
-
like a martini
-
liveried Lancia Itegrale
-
. all show and
-
driven by a
-
suit wearing twat
-
looking remarkably like
-
Fudnut on crack
-
. Maybe it was?
-
We may never
-
look at kebabs
-
the same again
-
speaking of kebabs
-
extra chilli please?
-
said the pisshead
-
who had staggered
-
Through the EuroTunnel
-
carrying an illegal........
-
bag of crisps
-
Fried frog flavour
-
what fried frenchman
-
well a pickled
-
egg or onion
-
which they shove
-
auntie winnie's arse
-
Avoiding her grapes
-
But quickly licking
-
Her spooging pipe
-
Then sticking his
-
big red lollypop
-
in his pocket
-
made of rubber
-
to match his
-
white gimp suit
-
Made of leather
-
with holes in
-
for extra tittilation
-
For acid drop
-
or pineapple cube
-
rubbed on eyeball
-
really really stings
-
like his ring
-
post vindaloo curry
-
On aciddrops butpipe
-
cleaned with drainrods
-
By Exupnut who
-
is a sadist
-
Sadie on weekends
-
dressed up in
-
tassels and feathers
-
trying to attract
-
red98's gorgeous daughter
-
Reds worst nightmare.......
-
is getting near..........
-
point of impact
-
but can be
-
Remedied with a
-
with a swift
-
stuttering fool. Then
-
in total denial
-
wearing a milf
-
Mask on her
-
left armpit which
-
smelt like haddock
-
On Sunday afternoon
-
Near the lakes
-
on a hot
-
Wife belonging to...
-
the local gamekeeper
-
Game for anything
-
who looked like
-
a baboons arse
-
with two red
-
98's toupee pieces
-
glued to her
-
on her elbows
-
In full view
-
for all to
-
lick and nibble
-
like Oreo biscuits
-
to dunk in
-
a cold glass
-
of stewed lentils
-
and anal juice
-
Which tasted rather
-
good surprisingly but
-
left an after
-
taste of rancid
-
maggots. Nutritious though
-
if you're a
-
half-dead ant-eating hermaphrodite
-
in the jungle
-
where the python
-
swallowed my arm
-
Deeeeep throat style
-
like Linda Lovelace
-
did not even
-
flinch as it
-
got to hairy
-
Arm pit territory
-
that tasted like
-
hairy arse clinkers
-
Belonging to Brown1664
-
. Exupnut recognised the
-
Man inside brown1664's
-
mirror as himself
-
But mistaken identity
-
is often blamed
-
For brown1664's infidelities
-
What is infidelity ???
-
a record player
-
from the 70's
-
Like a growler?
-
but even scratchier
-
Not refined then
-
like crude oil
-
slipping around the
-
sex lube shelf
-
in Jordan,s bedroom
-
decked out like
-
a hamster's garage
-
with a gash
-
That never heals
-
an open kebab.
-
With fish sauce
-
seeping out down
-
her inner thighs
-
over the scabs
-
that are caused
-
by the crabs
-
regurgitating septic fluid
-
Onto a crackheads
-
exposed left nipple
-
To be licked........
-
like a lollypop
-
but not an
-
Frozen one but
-
Vagazzle flavoured Chuppachup
-
Lolly covered in
-
A see through
-
layer of juice
-
Dripping from her.......
-
Hairy nostril holes
-
which look like
-
old lunar craters
-
that where used
-
For dumping rubbish
-
by local council
-
employees on valium
-
While sucking pussy
-
through a straw
-
Dipped in Rhohypnol
-
so the feltching
-
so yummy and
-
Sticky. How tasty!
-
twat really is
-
when drenched in
-
raspberry jam and
-
cotton wool balls
-
wiped round the.........
-
gorgeous mouth of
-
a rabid dog
-
which bit me
-
on the willy
-
which had a
-
90 Deg bend
-
Due to wifey's
-
Rough hand job
-
using her marigolds
-
And fairy liquid
-
to gently tease
-
her little finger
-
Into the bowling (ball)
-
aimed at Christo's
-
silhouette as he
-
Pretended his nob
-
was the dogs......
-
favorite chewy toy
-
with big lumpy
-
dog chewy bones
-
Them bones them
-
:D :'( :lol
-
were indentified as
-
rock solid turds
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Three foccin words
-
That don't make
-
a noise when
-
whispered in to
-
the garlic smelling
-
Bowling pins that
-
resembled a phallus
-
Which BBrown sat
-
His hat on
-
at coffee time
-
With a donut
-
hung on the
-
Latex-covered gimp
-
He kept in
-
the understairs cupboard
-
and lets out
-
Once a month
-
to meet the
-
The foccers nextdoor
-
for a pint
-
And some nuts
-
and bolts which
-
which taste rusty
-
like vinegar soaked
-
nadgers. hairy nadgers.
-
Which badgers rimes
-
With quite well
-
as we know
-
ruff as a
-
Ruff thing so
-
spikey that it
-
pricked your fingers
-
And made him
-
wear some gloves
-
Very PINK marigolds
-
stretched across his
-
pulstating huge knobbly
-
Member as he
-
twisted his foreskin
-
and tied it
-
To his bollox
-
At the back
-
by his ring
-
Ding ding doorbell
-
rang and he
-
scared the crap
-
Out of BBrown
-
Who jumped a
-
feccin mile when
-
fecked from behind
-
Which was a
-
lively back scuttler
-
and a shock
-
Absorber in the
-
Boot unused by
-
Oscar Pistorius because
-
without his legs
-
He was a
-
3ft nothing wimp
-
But trigger happy
-
with shortman syndrome
-
Now being gangbanged
-
in the prison
-
By black dudes
-
using broom handles
-
To prop him
-
up while they
-
shag his ears
-
with hard merekakts
-
and old hedgehogs
-
dipped in treacle
-
(The poor buggers)
-
sweet and spikey
-
Jammed tightly in
-
to the gap
-
of his bumcheeks
-
which also had
-
skidmarks lurking there
-
from a skidding
-
sliding, mark creating
-
tyre tracks up
-
to the clinkers
-
round the cobblers
-
and down into
-
The Ace carpark
-
for a quickie
-
With a slapper
-
On a Fazer
-
mooning at others
-
With his slipper
-
being well polished
-
by a bellboy
-
who was backed
-
in a corner
-
by Chelsea fans
-
Chanting racist shite
-
to martians who
-
Had just landed
-
from base twickenham
-
For the rugby
-
cup piss up
-
They had some
-
real focced up
-
Marian brew that
-
melted their socks
-
shrivelled their cocks
-
Hard as rocks
-
and tasted like
-
Rancid cunt juice
-
Your ex girlfriend?
-
Was at Tescos
-
with a plunger
-
Up her fanny
-
the narrow end
-
secured in powerdrill
-
With Value kippers
-
and fishy smells
-
made the rubber
-
start to melt
-
even though she
-
was well lubricated
-
with Castrol R
-
and wd 40
-
her big nuts
-
And his bolts
-
were still stuck
-
heat was tried
-
So he rested
-
until things cooled
-
then another squirt
-
of WD40 allowed
-
him to screw
-
it to the
-
furthest inner depths
-
of her soul
-
Which sounds painful
-
and it is
-
big shoes are
-
a sign of
-
Being very lucky
-
with a big
-
Ego but small
-
intended target for
-
such a weapon
-
with poor accuracy
-
and a dodgy
-
Patched, knitted condom
-
called a french
-
Tickler Scottish style
-
with haggis flavouring
-
For hungry deepthroats
-
in a Debbie
-
Dewhurst pork chop
-
cooked medium rare
-
with a big
-
dose of salmonella
-
for added flavour
-
oooooh how delicious
-
he said excitedly
-
sporting an erection
-
He looked down :\
-
Why so small?
-
It had shrunk :o
-
to a minute
-
Infintessimally, microscopically small
-
worm like object
-
oh how embarrasing
-
bollocks like footballs
-
ready to burst
-
every blood vessel
-
in his thighs
-
and mess his.......
-
poor old wife,s
-
Best red dress
-
That she wore
-
while being driven............
-
back from the
-
from lofo hq,
-
where she was...
-
Reading a book
-
while sucking members
-
half eaten gobstoppers
-
all the way
-
till they were
-
dissolved entirely. She
-
licked her lips
-
salty and swollen
-
after being smacked.....
-
around the chops
-
by a kangaroo
-
called Skippy who
-
was randomly violent
-
because her bush
-
Was so thick
-
you could hide........
-
A Fazer Thousand
-
Up her mivvpipe
-
and park it......
-
chained to a
-
Fazer 600 trailer
-
Manufactured with style
-
and covered with
-
various lighting devices
-
which whirled and
-
Whizzed about
-
causing his crash
-
Into Bbrown's anus
-
which he liked.
-
In the meantime,
-
back at home.........
-
Other stuff occurred
-
like lottery winning
-
ticket that's hidden
-
I forget where
-
or what i
-
had for dinner
-
with carrots in
-
my anal cheeks
-
it feels squishy
-
to the touch.
-
but quite pleasant
-
after buffing my
-
Fazer 600 trailer
-
that was scrapped
-
Foccin' wasn't. Twat.
-
and then rebuilt ;)
-
Wanna buy it?
-
No thank you
-
Only if pink
-
Could respray it. ;)
-
The story began...
-
in a gypsy
-
Caravan in a
-
Galaxy far away
-
With a Fazer
-
that could fly
-
(not a blue
-
bottle but a
-
fast black one)
-
With a sidecar
-
(Saint Bernard optional)
-
which went like
-
Red Fazer. Slowly
-
Similar to silver
-
Faster than yellow
-
as were all
-
modes of conveyance
-
at the time............
-
of steam arriving
-
late in the
-
18th century. Meanwhile
-
back at home......
-
his nude wife
-
Farts very loudly :eek
-
from her fanny
-
with the flaps
-
Open to MAX
-
ready for Leroy
-
to slide his..........
-
finger of fun
-
so much chocolate
-
Into her Slytherin
-
Filthy ear hole
-
that has not......
-
seen Leroy juice
-
since the war
-
on big black
-
slab of marble
-
as a worktop
-
to lie on.. :evil
-
spread wide eagle
-
with a cavernous
-
dark hairy hole
-
A man cave!.........
-
To dwell in
-
And fettle bikes
-
that are not
-
covered in love
-
but in need................
-
Of some attention
-
of back end
-
service and lubrication
-
to assist penetration
-
Of inner tubes
-
and tyre levers
-
Albeit slightly bent
-
Like above poster
-
of a shaven
-
one legged beaver
-
Trying to bury
-
A fazer trailer :rollin
-
(not for sale)
-
he declared loudly
-
whilst adjusting his
-
oversize jock strap
-
men in skirts
-
That were tartan
-
And very drafty
-
But warm inside
-
but smelled of
-
haggis and wee...............
-
bit of spunk
-
Caused by primature
-
ejaculation, due to
-
looking up kilts
-
on a Milf
-
with crossed eyes
-
and wonky teeth
-
that gripped foreskins
-
With iron grips
-
and slabbery tongue :b
-
sucking him dry
-
try eating PUSSY
-
Smelling of fish
-
sprinkled with vinegar
-
from big bollocks
-
come little swimmers
-
stroking like mad...
-
the base of
-
his hairy mountain
-
eyebrows which were
-
becoming very stiff
-
Like a monobrow
-
only it went
-
over his head
-
drop by drop
-
balls now empty
-
he collapsed in
-
A painful heap
-
and fell asleep
-
with a grin
-
and salty head
-
on his pillow
-
that was cream
-
from the fanny
-
craddock's latest creation
-
made by johnny
-
go Wilkinson johnny
-
odd shaped balls
-
dangling in the
-
Neither regions between
-
the two hookers
-
in the scrum
-
eye to ear
-
Breathing rather heavily
-
she started to
-
push their tighthead
-
Towards the Welsh
-
Forming a ruck
-
deep down within
-
The hairy folds
-
of the welsh
-
Sheep farmer who
-
Was enthusiastically bumming
-
the welsh hooker
-
who didn't charge
-
by the hour
-
unless you farted
-
In which case
-
He charges double
-
For wet wipes
-
For the slime
-
ball who shat
-
His Y Fronts
-
while out shopping
-
with the Scottish
-
peoples liberation front
-
For liberal haggis
-
Are all gay
-
Zoomers who would
-
never hear a
-
dead mans fart
-
Unless it hit
-
Between the eyea
-
with the force
-
A Guinness fart
-
Can muster. Meanwhile,
-
in the garage
-
Front tyre punctured :eek
-
by a twig
-
from a tree
-
Covered in thorns
-
With a gorilla
-
scratching he's arse
-
using a baboon
-
to floss with
-
the gaps between
-
his butt cheeks
-
smearing the crap
-
into the gland
-
inside his girlfriends
-
tunnel of love
-
The motorcycling armadillo
-
took offence to
-
smelling like Tuna
-
despite looking like
-
Red98 on heat
-
(a terrifying prospect)
-
if only someone.....
-
Took me seriously
-
Not a chance
-
said the clown
-
Pulling his trousers
-
Out of the
-
baboons arse. Suddenly
-
The rabid mongoose
-
took offence at
-
the gorilla laughing
-
at Red98's mistake
-
as he tried
-
mounting the baboon
-
AKA grandma baboon
-
Thinking it was
-
great grandma baboon
-
Or grandpa baboon
-
either would suffice
-
Fill your boots
-
With monkey bestiality
-
because monkeys give
-
great fun watching
-
wanker like us
-
Trying to mount
-
the farmers wife
-
who really does
-
like it small
-
Hence Red98's invitation
-
To the Hobbitt
-
on his trike
-
Said Big Boy
-
Noggy the Nog
-
And his dog
-
Called Frisky fazer
-
A three legged
-
homosexual wonky donkey
-
Shagging pedigree chihuahua
-
Bisexual gimped mature
-
Trannie seeks partner
-
for mutually arranged
-
Dwarf spit roasting
-
Involving Exupnut as
-
the central piece
-
of the party
-
He was eager
-
Raring to go
-
find a stable
-
So he could
-
Feel a little
-
umpa lumpa love
-
just at bedtime
-
after watching porn
-
on the BBC
-
As you do
-
when you're Red98
-
hard as nails
-
using his knob
-
to prize open
-
The Umpa's mouth
-
doesn't have teeth
-
or a tongue
-
but has large
-
Cheeks. Not that
-
they expanded enough
-
but didn't need
-
To with the
-
big black pudding
-
Stuck up his
-
oversized left nostril
-
by the Hobbitt
-
with nine legs
-
and one big
-
attitude which really
-
Flicked his switch
-
when rimming his
-
hamster with a
-
block of cheese
-
before serving it
-
Beans on toast
-
and laxative chocolate
-
covered in nuts
-
from squirrel shit
-
which would make
-
any normal person
-
Eyes water but
-
Not Red98. He
-
Preferred Christo's hairy
-
derriere that hung
-
all over the
-
bunch of bananas
-
on mother kellys ..........
-
dining room table
-
which was adorned
-
With several large
-
Black phallic candelabras
-
contrasting with the
-
white 9" mambo
-
snake which slithered
-
up Christo's chuff
-
to his delight
-
when riding over
-
Mother Kelly's doorstep
-
On his Fazer
-
which was damaged
-
But he wanted
-
a trailor on
-
. A towbar was
-
total stupidity but
-
he got one
-
. What a plonker
-
.....but original although
-
he crashed again
-
On his hangglider
-
into a hedge
-
where dogging was
-
being actively promoted
-
So, with glee
-
he turned on
-
his battery operated
-
Lights to let
-
his action camera
-
Record the action
-
While Brown1664 sucked
-
Through a straw
-
some milky substance
-
from a McDonalds
-
Clown who was
-
just feltching his
-
own arse which
-
1664 enjoyed whilst
-
lapping his pet
-
mouse's arse piece
-
Suddenly he noticed
-
a gigantic phallic
-
marrow and jumped
-
through the gap
-
Shouting.... Tally-ho!!!!
-
to stumble upon
-
nude women holding
-
large phallic symbol
-
that looked like
-
It was Camorons
-
warped dildo used
-
by mr motivator
-
on morning TV
-
during Lorraine's session
-
with Mrs Merkel
-
on the sofa
-
with a Bratwurst
-
straight from the
-
local imagrant,s bag
-
and into Exupnut's
-
Leather bike boots
-
, red thigh length
-
with pink laces
-
And matching little
-
Frilly nipple clamps
-
adorned with spikes
-
attached to his
-
big old chopper
-
, fast blue vein
-
With senility encroaching
-
upon his wife
-
There was only
-
one real option
-
Take her shopping
-
That's masochism personified
-
but always hold
-
her hairy purse
-
For fear of
-
the colostomy bag
-
rupturing and then
-
The staff at
-
Kevin Spacey's brothel
-
would be really
-
Pissed off by
-
The smell alone
-
Which was awful
-
as she had
-
a chicken vindalo
-
Lodged inside her
-
keeping warm. Suddenly
-
REDCERI turned up
-
and puked up
-
A Fazer exhaust ;)
-
Releasing the exup
-
Cables tied round
-
his nether region
-
knee length pubes
-
that were ginger
-
just like Harry's
-
Ginger nut squeezer
-
that painfully crushed.....
-
the full girth
-
of his pimply
-
puss filled apendage
-
swinging from his
-
Dingly Dangly Nuts
-
a pubic lice
-
Started to tickle
-
His lady friend
-
on her ringpiece
-
which was covered
-
with infilpanel right
-
to stop leekage
-
From the main
-
Large hairy orifice
-
which oozed brown
-
Puss like worms
-
That tasted like
-
rusty lee,s inner.
-
left flap coated
-
with a coating
-
from mr motivator
-
extra large brown
-
throbbing cum encrusted
-
Jamaican ginger cake
-
was thrust into
-
his star fish
-
which hung open
-
like a well
-
Gaped gaping gapehole
-
ready to swallow........
-
a deeply fluted
-
Flutey flutish flute
-
made of old
-
knickers and tampax
-
soaked in the
-
10 virgin juice
-
fermented for 10
-
long years until.....
-
a long flutish
-
Fluted flutey flute
-
blower emerged from
-
my black handbag
-
which was shaped
-
like a racing
-
snake on drugs
-
supplied by BB
-
Big Bum who
-
had a small..............
-
Nob like Dazza
-
saw on his
-
portable television set
-
which had smellovision
-
Obesity pandemic ensued
-
causing widespread diarrhea
-
to splatt all
-
and sundry nearby
-
As well as
-
those far away
-
had splatt juice
-
All over face
-
And Dazza then...
-
Without fear or
-
favour managed to
-
get a prolapsed
-
rectum after taking
-
to the hills
-
riding an old
-
Flame he never
-
really got over
-
because she was
-
A tranny with
-
A slow yellow
-
stream of puss
-
running from her
-
left nostril which
-
pooled in her
-
folds of fat
-
ready for Exupnut
-
to slip his
-
disc whilst carrying
-
What looked like
-
a german shepherd
-
the shepherd,s wife
-
and his sheep
-
To the top
-
of Ben Nevis
-
on a unicycle
-
With a towbar
-
. Christo was proud
-
of his swelling
-
as it was........
-
the biggest it
-
could possibly be
-
if you consider
-
He worked hard............
-
And flacid but
-
the blood supply
-
wasn't there. It
-
took sixteen viagra
-
and that only
-
Just hardened his
-
the flaccid pimple
-
on his nose
-
which had 5punk
-
dripping off the
-
wifes new curtains
-
.she hit the
-
Hairy Christo sack
-
as hard as
-
Hedgetrimmer hits hedges
-
with sharper heels
-
for a topiary
-
Vigazzle which looked
-
a dogs bollocks
-
fried and seasoned
-
With peri peri
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
and reggae reggae
-
Sauce which stuck
-
to her lips
-
. It burned Christo's
-
Wheel and exhaust
-
And also the
-
scrap rear hugger
-
and the towbar
-
had no alcohol
-
In the trailer
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
screenwash was used
-
as an enima
-
which scoured his
-
rectum completely dad
-
had to repair
-
the ripped spincter
-
by inserting watermelon
-
at mach one
-
When crashing into...
-
the Hadron collider
-
His hardon collided
-
With a large
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
Hadron who's arse
-
black hole was
-
Uncomfortably sausage shaped
-
after being pummeled
-
With whole pineapple
-
that was huge
-
with spikes around
-
the outer edge
-
Which stung somewhat
-
like being given............
-
Sulphuric acid enema
-
courtesy of the.......
-
foccers enema group
-
Led by exupnut
-
Enabled by Kitcrazy
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
who was going.........
-
at it like
-
fly's around shit
-
on a hot
-
winters day round..........
-
Brown1664's smelly old
-
Rogered Sphincter which
-
Winked suggestively at
-
His black boyfriend
-
called 9" leroy
-
a rastafarian transvestite
-
Exupnut was jealous
-
as his tackle
-
was rather inferior
-
at 2 inches
-
in its girth
-
when trebled up
-
With two doubles
-
and a pube
-
things got interesting
-
When all foccers.......
-
Had got their
-
Fazercats bloody stolen
Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
-
Collection of dildo's
-
Which ranged from
-
Tiny and irrelevant
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
To spiked and
-
tight with lube
-
At 18" across
-
And slow red
-
like a coffindodger
-
playing with his
-
one swollen ball
-
and wrinkled willy
-
which smelt of
-
a small rodent's
-
Hairy hazelnut sack
-
putrefying slowly and
-
dripping slowly away
-
upon his gaping
-
Japs Eye oozing
-
love oil bye
-
the mouth full
-
all over his
-
Naked picture of....
-
Elton John who
-
was feltching his
-
son from school
-
By eighteen years
-
he was oldest
-
And ringpiece widest
-
of the group
-
and could breathe
-
even though he
-
had no ears
-
but was blessed
-
With a deformed
-
and undersized middle
-
ball, one of
-
solid dry jizz
-
Looks like Cheese
-
battered lychee balls
-
and
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Post reported to mods for breach of thread rules)
Looking like TomS_'s
-
Who's your daddy?
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Post reported to mods for breach of thread rules)
Looking like TomS_'s
(Must have been bad lol)
or your vicar
-
Shirley frigging crabtree
-
Giant Foccin Haystacks
-
and Mick McManus
-
and Mick McManus
Mick M Anus?
-
Who hung around
-
by the ropes
-
With Steve Logan
-
Wearing nipple tassles
-
and diamante thong
-
which did nothing
-
To hide the
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
corn on the
-
on his left
-
swollen testicle, which
-
was being fondled........
-
by a bandit
-
named Pedro from
-
a quaint fishing
-
Spot next to
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
The river tyne
-
not in Europe
-
But close to
-
Bulgmania the new
-
European community especially
-
for bollock fondlers
-
and rimmers who
-
were like management
-
all up everyones
-
dirty old orifices
-
Closing Devilsyams sticky
-
left nostril innard
-
until he cant.......
-
breath for cum
-
slowly starting to
-
fill his sinuses
-
and gumming up
-
his hearing until
-
the infected eardrum
-
Couldn't hear b1k3rdude
-
screaming as he
-
kicked in the
-
swarfega hand cleaner
-
Dispenser attached to
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
My mum's cupboard
-
door which was
-
where she kept
-
her dildo collection
-
and custard powder
-
to enhance the
-
Clitoral stimulus by
-
by thickening the
-
Manky spunk juice
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
On her pert
-
but pimpled butt
-
ered morning roll
-
ers on his
-
Ginger Merkin which
-
was full of
-
dandruff which vosene
-
Stung the clitoris
-
lips so badly
-
she had to
-
Defer to Red98
-
to kiss them........
-
Lest he kiss...
-
the back of
-
Her rather hairy
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
and severely arthritic
-
rectum which leaked
-
all over his
-
Slow red bike
-
which had just
-
Been thoroughly polished
-
While wishing BLUE
-
and pink stripes
-
with purple spots
-
on the tailpiece
-
which had an
-
Uncanny resemblance to
-
Exupnuts old teabag
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
style of seat
-
that he got
-
at a carboot
-
cheap as it
-
had pubic hair
-
in its crack
-
and deeply ingrained
-
faeces stains which
-
he sniffed daily
-
Although I also
-
licked it too
-
which caused my
-
lips and tongue
-
Slurp on BBROWN1664'S
-
glistening one eyed
-
trouser snake that
-
Wouldn't satisfy a
-
Syphilitic Thai ladyboy
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
whose adams apple
-
tasted like shite
-
after a saturday
-
on the lash
-
drinking pints of
-
rancid dog piss
-
with road kill
-
Killed by MERV
-
on roller blades
-
that are sharp
-
honed to perfection
-
Anticipating the junction
-
of his sphincter
-
he slipped in
-
his haste to
-
to say hello
-
to the foccers
-
saluting fellow perverts
-
the world over
-
with a huge
-
bratwurst up his
-
new slip on
-
exhaust fart supressor
-
loud enough to
-
tank separated nuts
-
into a congealed
-
gooey green mess
-
In his underpants
-
that had dripped
-
down the back
-
of his stockings
-
congealing as it
-
reached his stilettos
-
before hitting the..
-
the front pegs
-
And sticking his
-
SLOW red poker
-
right up the
-
large furry dice
-
hanging from his.....
-
one ball which
-
which bounced nicely
-
Off her chin
-
as she attempted
-
to bite the
-
one hairy ball
-
that was left
-
looking swollen and
-
inflamed beyond belief
-
It burst and
-
Spilled yellow pus
-
Up her nostril
-
as she was
-
streaked with blood
-
from leaking scabs
-
around her minge :eek :lol
-
Slowly dropping down
-
teecee90's ais hole
-
and back up...
-
his scaly penis
-
which was still
-
embedded in her
-
Crusty, putrid anus
Sent from my HTC Desire 320 using Tapatalk
-
Hanging with piles
-
but very lickable
-
After a curry
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-
made with extra
-
big pussy scabs
-
From Nickodemon's pussy
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-
that had just
-
started to menstruate
-
All over exupnut's
-
life insurance company
-
documentation. No payout
-
will be enough
-
Pay the prostitute
-
for what she
-
had let him
-
Do with Kitcrazy's
-
second hand dildo
-
extracted from his
-
Stretched nasal cavity
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
-
and wiped on........
-
the net curtains
-
before being cleaned
-
using rough sandpaper
-
previously used to
-
sand he's wooden
-
prosthesis that nobody
-
liked the look
-
Or the taste
-
or the smell
-
or the feel
-
as the spikes
-
Were sharp as
-
Life insurance agent
-
Life insurance agent
Shut the fuck up tommyardin.
-
Back to Rabbit 22
We're sharp as
-
the acid tongue
-
of the alien
-
Which penetrated tommytardin's
-
rather dirty starfish
-
that certainly needed
-
the hedgehog treatment
-
for at least
-
six solid hours
-
before having a
-
Firtree pull through
-
that should hopefully
-
clear the backlog
-
Of manporridge stuck
-
so solidly sideways
-
behind the huge
-
swollen beyond normal
-
Because of the
-
Lube that Kitcrazy
-
pumped into the
-
poor bastard. Meanwhile
-
Back at the
-
Fast Blue HQ
-
Things got weird
-
and stupid because
-
suddenly an enormous
-
Three breasted orangutan
-
started racing motorbikes
-
in the local
-
duck pond with
-
Frank butchers slipper
-
Attached to his
-
Prince Albert piercing
-
which he only
-
Ever polished with
-
Tesco premium lager
-
and sharp sand
-
from exupnut back
-
when he was
-
a mod in
-
the film Quadraphenia
-
Along with Fred
-
from the slums
-
of New Dehli
-
Meanwhile in Dublin
-
Arthur Guinness said.....
-
mine's a pint
-
Of chocolate milk
-
with black nuts
-
Resting on my
-
Pox ridden little
-
sister in laws
-
sweet but tight
-
Shrivelled flappy bits
-
She likes it
-
when a marmoset
-
ejaculates into her
-
huge hairy nostrils
-
Just like when
-
Daddy fucks Mummy
-
With csa payments
-
that bleed him
-
Dryer than a
-
Nuns crusty old
-
double penetration dildo
-
With knobs on
-
made from synthetic
-
pineapple heads which
-
Hurt like hell
-
When pushed into
-
Kieth Vaz's willing
-
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160920/a784654b7c6bfcaa0732906cc7cfd498.jpg)
MP.......Male Prostitute
-
who bends for.........
-
any Eastern European
-
Working in a
-
Waitrose Deli, but
-
Take it up
-
2 notches and
-
Score some coke
-
Then he'll be
-
up Jeremy Corbyn
-
bestest pal because
-
Poor people are
-
more than likely
-
Gonna be fucked
-
Up the Ronson
-
While simultaneously poking
-
their little finger
-
@the elite 650
-
virgins promised to
-
The nerds with
-
The nerds with
-
The nerds with
-
The nerds with
-
Exupnut and Dukeofrude
-
Stunning good looks
-
apart from the
-
fugly bbrown1664 nearby
-
whose figure has
-
Really gone downhill
-
Since gender reassignment
-
Went terribly wrong
-
when the surgeon
-
Reattached his knob
-
to his earlobe
-
Like George Michael's
-
Going to care
-
About a whisper
-
Kissing a fool
-
and his tool
-
Box loving mate
-
whose Snap On
-
Fat merguez sausage
-
Got stuck in
-
Dick Turpins Arse
-
On Queens Highway
-
Someone mention me?
-
Said dick turpin
-
as he removed
-
an oversized dildo
-
from his mouth
-
And then said
-
Oops wrong hole!
-
before plunging it
-
in some water
-
for a qiuck
-
bit of relief
-
From the sting
-
Of the phirana
-
(similar to piranhas)
-
sharp teeth on
-
his left ball
-
Hurt like hell
-
Bollock chainmail required
-
plus helmet protector
-
For his helmet
-
as roundheads are
-
cavaliers in disguise
-
With large trouserswords
-
Designed for stabbing
-
each others nether
-
regions every day
-
For orgasmic pleasure
-
until they collapsed
-
Into a pile
-
Of used johnnys
-
the extra thick
-
ribbed lubricated sort
-
That girls love
-
To tell you
-
they have tasted
-
when swallowing copious
-
Amounts of sticky
-
tart fuel alcopop
-
Something like wkd
-
or Breezers worked
-
to turn them...........
-
And Fazerider into
-
knicker dropping nymphos
-
assuming they wore
-
All the gear
-
to get Robbo
-
Hard as a
-
freshly made jelly
-
with more wobbly
-
than strawberry jelly
-
but sensationally rose
-
like dunked biscuits
-
In a cup
-
brimming with hot
-
milk. All soggy
-
And sticking to
-
Old mother hubbard's
-
Sons wanking sock
-
The same sock
-
allegedly worn by
-
Jimmy Savilles personal
-
butler who lined
-
it with razor
-
Tipped rubber cocks
-
and hypodermic needles
-
just for fun
-
Because he was
-
a funny fucker
-
with extreme masochistic
-
Tendencies toward dogs
-
and other furry
-
people and animals
-
With three legs
-
Because 4 are
-
considered too many
-
In many parts
-
But 3 are
-
Generally one less
-
Than the average
-
you find on
-
any normal clown
-
fish under the
-
Counter of the
-
nearest porn shop
-
. The smell dictated
-
Piss flap under
-
The salespersons jockstrap
-
was too much
-
But maybe someone
-
somewhere out there
-
had better ideas
-
For a lady
-
Of the night
-
Or a hermaphrodite
-
Of the day
-
out to play
-
with her flaps
-
In front of
-
her inverted penis
-
complete with balls
-
That are hanging
-
Like christmas tree
-
baubles shining like
-
A bald man's
-
Bald ball sack
-
treated with Autosol
-
and chrome polish
-
applied using sandpaper
-
And wet fingers
-
to ensure blood
-
oozed copiously from
-
the cracked skin
-
and dribbled onto............
-
The tongue of
-
her Doctor Marten
-
that she used
-
to lick her
-
Dirty plug hole
-
clean of hair
-
and assorted scabs
-
Caused by strenuous
-
exfoliating with wire
-
brush and domestos
-
mixed with fannybatter
-
and toenail clippings
-
Taken from a
-
Road Kill Llama
-
which was found
-
In Keith Vaz's
-
Lovers underwear drawer
-
right next to
-
her rampant rabbit
-
That's powered by
-
a three phase
-
hearing aid battery
-
smeared with earwax
-
And crocodile spunk
-
that hornet riders
-
Crash into while
-
having a quick.........
-
Tommy tank on
-
his petrol pump..........
-
after downing 20
-
Shots of bleach
-
and ajax mixed
-
with jim beams................
-
finest sipping bourbon
-
Meanwhile in scotland
-
It rained again
-
which was odd
-
Usually it's sleet
-
hail, snow and
-
screaming troll sturgeon
-
Stabbing homeless people
-
for living in.........
-
a shipping container
-
full of crap
-
Also known as
-
the Scottish parliament
-
land of jockistan
-
ruled by the
-
Wee ginger goblins
-
gamming ginger sturgeon
-
Right in the
-
Left buttock cheek
-
That's where she
-
Liked to put
-
her cold hand
-
after having just
-
removed it from
-
a corpse which
-
Died riding hondas
-
through the snow
-
on bald tyres
-
skidding like a
-
Tramps tighty whiteys
-
into the crapper
-
from an extraordinary
-
tricky left hander
-
At cadwell park
-
in pouring rain
-
with liberal sprinklings
-
Of dog dandruff
-
and winalot biscuits
-
which when mixed
-
formed a sludge
-
Thicker than a
-
Hornet riders brain
-
which cannot process
-
how to breathe
-
10w40 oil through
-
the lawn mower
-
while cutting grass
-
In the nude
-
Wagging her tail
-
piece for all
-
to come and............
-
video this ridiculous
-
Attempt at seduction
-
While pole dancing
-
Covered in chocolate
-
and having a
-
Shit on the
-
face of the
-
Archbishop of Canterbury
-
. It reminded him
-
of Father Crilly
-
From back when
-
caning was allowed
-
in all churches
-
And public toilets
-
After Sunday service
-
provided butt plugs
-
were not lubed
-
To everybody with
-
bloody sore arses
-
after a good
-
dose of diarrhea
-
And rough anal
-
injection of chicken
-
Potatoes and gravy
-
topped with sand
-
From the crack
-
of TRUMPS arse
-
which was ouzeing
-
fake tan liquid
-
And Hilarys tears
-
of annihilating defeat
-
on Trumps knob
-
Also known as
-
The Trump Tower
-
according to Melania
-
whose pussy was..............
-
Looser than a
-
fifty cent whore
-
whos just retired
-
from 20 years
-
Selling her arse
-
on rotten row
-
To foreign dignitaries
-
who had little
-
idea of her
-
gender reassignment operation
-
Which took place
-
In a Sainsbury's
-
Fresh meat section
-
her bonus points
-
Are worth more
-
Nora Batty's old
-
piss stained stockings
-
and sweat stained
-
1/2" Socket Set
-
That's also kept
-
in her box
-
of Kleanex tissues
-
under her bed
-
Along side her
-
ancient clockwork dildo
-
that needed repairing
-
after rimming here
-
And there, although
-
Compo and Clegg
-
Always preferred bush
-
mills whiskey, drank
-
through a pair
-
Of Maggie thatchers
-
Baggy skidmarked bloomers
-
she was wearing
-
when the Belgrano
-
suddenly scuttled itself
-
near the biggest
-
sink hole ever
-
seen in bristol
-
at comeberland basin
-
near Spike Island
-
On a sandbank
-
Full of crabs
-
ln her knickers
-
accompanied with gooey
-
Argentinian sailors who
-
were shaking their.............
-
white flags above
-
El presidentes arse
-
Because that's where
-
They all surrender
-
like the French
-
but in Spanish
-
While looking italian
-
with greasy hair
-
and stupid accents
-
but beautiful women :eek
-
and tasty steaks
-
with crinkle cut
-
Belgrano steel knives
-
still rusty from
-
Salty semen deposits
-
dripped from her.......
-
Hairy sugar puff
-
candy coloured muff
-
From which came
-
The grim reaper
-
proudly erect with
-
his scythe glinting
-
In moon light
-
Like pizza pie
-
ready to eat
-
Covered with cheese
-
and assorted scabs
-
like union members
-
On strike again
-
. Meanwhile in Wapping
-
The locals were
-
revolting. Completely revolting.
-
as they were
-
Having a wank............
-
In a church
-
full of nuns
-
with bare arseholes
-
Saying the Lords
-
A complete twat
-
Riding his Harley
-
backwards with a
-
cucumber sticking out
-
Of his exhaust
-
his bollocks flapping..............
-
in the wind
-
Rain and snow
-
Where's My Hat
-
Said the postman
-
Nothing new then
-
for me today
-
All old news
-
like the sisters
-
whose blow jobs
-
were the worst
-
you ever had.........
-
whilst standing up
-
In a pond
-
washing their fanny's
-
flaps with diesel
-
impregnated Brillo pads
-
At The ready
-
To clean crud
-
From their cracks
-
on their backs
-
sleeping on beds
-
heavily stained with
-
spunky do da
-
running down the..............
-
Road in wellingtons
-
chasing the hairdresser
-
in her audi
-
TT quarto tartmobile
-
saying foc Frosties
-
Tommy is mine
-
said Mrs Gunn
-
bollocks said jemima
-
While she was
-
Humping Mr Puddleduck
-
I've laddered my
-
MR2 canvas roof
-
While driving in
-
nothing but underwear
-
black and lacy
-
smelly pee stained.....
-
with skidmarks included
-
from my jammed
-
automatic gear box
-
Stuck in reverse
-
At the top
-
of Pikes Peak
-
after losing to
-
The Grim Reaper
-
Which usually caused
-
a wee bit
-
of absolute carnage
-
and effluent discharge
-
To seep from
-
my bed slug
-
Staining some underwear
-
Tommy was licking
-
his own arse
-
as his tongue
-
curled around the
-
Gaping anal cavity
-
, he noticed that
-
Something was wrong
-
BBROWN1664 was watching
-
as he inserted
-
another Anusol suppository
-
Between greased buttocks
-
in anticipation of
-
eternal relief from
-
Intense hemorrhoid itching
-
and suppurating boils
-
Full of pus
-
being squeezed out.........
-
And licked off
-
by two girl
-
siamesed twins who
-
Playing with dildos
-
Caught the attention
-
Of catholic priests
-
and young boys
-
with trouser pockets
-
full of sweets
-
From local peados
-
Wearing beige raincoats
-
complete with gizz
-
stains and wet
-
patches round their...........
-
High heel shoes
-
Which were higher
-
Than tower bridge
-
when it's up
-
Goes back down
-
And up again
-
like whore's drawers
-
Up and down
-
Full of cum
-
up her bum
-
Like your mum
-
And your nan
-
and her dog
-
dropping a log.............
-
In the bog
-
With poisonous gases
-
smelt by masses
-
of knicker sniffers
-
and arsehole whiffers
-
and saddle sniffers
-
riding bareback style
-
On brokeback mountain
-
cowboy style with
-
A big leather
-
Jockstrap wedged up
-
between your teeth
-
and studded to
-
Help your grip
-
on the enormous
-
Shaft your riding
-
Covered in oil
-
from an old
-
Suzuki bandit riders
-
arse wipes and
-
Ariel Leader exhaust......
-
emitting oily gas
-
Just like Honda's
-
pungent sticky goo
-
dribbling down your................
-
Sisters inner thigh
-
after she's had
-
A team of
-
Mechanics with tools
-
clear out her
-
low level grotto
-
before refilling with
-
Buckets of cum
-
Donated from local
-
Syphilitics spot squeezing
-
by the local............
-
pox doctors patients
-
Once they'd realised
-
this stuff had
-
cum from a
-
Hookers back pocket
-
And arse crack
-
dribbling down between
-
Sweaty, Chaffing, spotty
-
scaly,fishy, gooey
-
Flabby fat thighs
-
into her socks
-
already reeking of
-
Sweaty cheesy toes
-
and Athletes foot
-
caused by running........
-
Away from pimps
-
driving pink Cadillacs
-
and shagging snails
-
In the garden
-
Of the old
-
local convicted paedo
-
who was rotting
-
From the noose
-
hung round his............
-
bell end with
-
Barbed wire for
-
intense sexual ecstacy
-
And Christmas cheer
-
until the anaesthetic
-
started wearing off........
-
And than came
-
the stark reality
-
of endless pain
-
up the arse
-
no thank you
-
said the vicar
-
Wearing ladies underwear
-
Outside his tunic
-
Said the postman
-
with his sack
-
on his back
-
reaching his crack
-
Full of crack
-
George Michael dead
-
Never dancing again
-
and Wham it
-
up your arse
-
and wake me
-
Up before you
-
carelessly whisper something
-
about club tropicana
-
Like jesus to
-
let the sun
-
go down on
-
Young princess leia
-
like a rat
-
up her drainpipe
-
before it needed
-
C 3 PO
-
To translate the
-
complex operating instructions
-
to unlock her
-
storm trooper jacket
-
She stole from
-
the salvation army
-
which itched like
-
a dose of
-
Wookie genital crabs
-
combined with large
-
Dose's of Yoda's..................
-
and the ewoks
-
highly contagious bleeding
-
From hairy arseholes
-
On shit bikes
-
with no wheels
-
and only one
-
solid plastic wheel
-
To steer with
-
and get home
-
in an ambulance
-
Driven by a
-
a one legged............
-
Failed arse kicker
-
with an inferiority
-
complex and split
-
personality which made
-
good for a
-
Fun dinner party
-
held for tourettes
-
Fuck bollocks wank
-
walk the plank
-
Said pirate Pete
-
whilst wiping parrot
-
pieces of eight
-
Off his face
-
And Jolly Roger
-
the cabin boy
-
lubricating his arse
-
For Captain Pugwash
-
And seamen staines
-
and Master Bates
-
to slide in.......
-
Nut deep together
-
Not for me
-
If someone's looking
-
From behind the
-
Ships bow spirit
-
Long John Silver............
-
and Jim Hawkins
-
Each took turns
-
Spanking the monkey
-
using a large
-
barrel of rum
-
and boiled oil
-
Rubbed all over
-
Hard to reach
-
areas with hooks
-
made from the
-
Erections of dead
-
press ganged keelhaulers
-
scarified penis's which
-
Were dismembered with
-
old sharks teeth
-
Smeared with african
-
Bush elephant sperm
-
which had dripped
-
Down the back
-
of our sofa
-
very very slowly
-
Onto the floor
-
burning a hole
-
in her knickers
-
causing the crotch
-
To feel like
-
a furnace full
-
of red hot.....
-
Cambodian fire ants
-
licking up all................
-
the gooey mess
-
left from rotting
-
over several months
-
of accumulated snot
-
and bogey pie
-
all mixed up
-
with a liberal
-
Helping of old
-
and crusty dangleberries
-
with added seamen
-
Just for extra
-
chicken flavoured taste.
-
which was better
-
than burger king
-
Is capable of
-
brother for a
-
Sorry! Page 1
-
I'm a tit
-
said the vicar
-
To the Jock
-
strap wearing transgender
-
Albanian clog dancer
-
who forgot his
-
hairy hoop soup
-
was not vegan
-
and liked raw
-
vegetables on Mondays
-
But not wednesdays
-
when he only
-
ate rancid pussies
-
On buttered toast
-
With sides of
-
rats faeces and
-
Catnip laced biscuits
-
of a enormous
-
Smorgasbord of meat
-
covered in maggots
-
with a side
-
of goats cheese
-
Smeared across multiple
-
Scantily clad women
-
riding humungous choppers
-
Shaped like precarious
-
structures resembling huge
-
throbbing green cucumbers
-
And massive melons
-
topped with walnuts
-
chopped and crushed
-
sprinkled all over
-
with maraschino cherries
-
which were strategically
-
Placed next to
-
President trumps wig
-
that was laying
-
On Melania's pussy
-
Smelling of Tuna
-
Like Hilary's knickers
-
After Bill's BJ
-
juice had dripped
-
Down her leg
-
staining the carpet
-
with harry monk
-
and old piss
-
in the wind
-
that was whistling
-
Like Lady Di
-
Cracking looking lass
-
that should have
-
Not loved foreigners
-
or army officers
-
or other people
-
whose ears stick
-
between her thighs
-
whilst whistling dixie
-
On her kebab
-
while shagging around
-
half the battalion.
-
of the scots
-
men in skirts
-
With ginger hair
-
and hairy sporrans
-
Dripping with cum
-
over her bum
-
She's still alive :rolleyes (as is Elvis)
-
Say the conspiracies
-
Theorists who love
-
cum over there
-
wive's baldy twats
-
And saggy boobs
-
and beer bellies
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4ooX6RH7xtc/UOC-pUVb2nI/AAAAAAAAGTg/kojPTVIHeyM/s1600/DSCF3767.jpg)
-
plus fat tits
-
and fannies like
-
Thy mothers drapes
-
Open all hours
-
and vicious teeth
-
both being yellow
-
From smoking loads
-
Of cheap crack
-
up her crack
-
Hard to find
-
Because it's huge
-
. The smell killed
-
Three young men
-
now dead men
-
from inhaling rancid
-
Clintons fishy fanny
-
Through fuel lines
-
fuelled with EP10.
-
And sour milk
-
From saggy breasts
-
which headed south
-
many years ago
-
to end up............
-
Hanging down lower
-
than her varicose
-
Spotted prolapsed rectum
-
Swollen and gaping
-
Minge bag twat
-
that was very.............
-
Much like a
-
swollen baboon's arse
-
bright red with
-
matted pubes needing
-
Kangaroo spunk conditioner
-
For shiny hair
-
or maybe Brazilian
(https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M4e0defff9d753fe403705a4b3f1b0979H0&w=93&h=105&c=8&rs=1&qlt=90&pid=3.1&rm=2) (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=brazilian+wax+pictures+before+and+after&id=158D85FD9E1666C24284E0D12D1B7E7840426831&FORM=IQFRBA)
-
wax to reduce
-
Unsightly muff rugs
-
folded clunge flaps
-
and other ugly
-
dutch fanny lickers
-
and silly foccers
-
who would indulge
-
in macabre sexual
-
Practices with vegetables
-
Like carrots and
-
turnips and sheep
-
with cucumbers shoved
-
Into lubricated orifices
-
Making quite the
-
the recipient squirm
-
Bath in which
-
cold porridge was................
-
being mixed with
-
Contaminated bodily fluids
-
From Chinese sailors
-
and dirty foccers
-
With infectious diseases
-
Measles in adults
-
Rabies in babies
-
with shitty nappies
-
and bogey encrusted
-
Old man hankeys
-
Made into knickers
-
for Kim Kardashian
-
to not wear
-
For instagram photos
-
or other opportunities
-
To flash fanny
-
which winked at
-
Pervvy paparazzi photographers
-
And children alike
-
scaring the horses
-
that promptly bolted
-
Trampling over the
-
Poor people's pets
-
shitting in flowerbeds
-
and copulating freely
-
in front gardens
-
High rise flats?
-
Asked Maggie thatchet
-
as she sold
-
Desmond The Donkey..............
-
for magic beans
-
In short supply
-
for prince charles
-
To use as
-
Camilla's sex toys
-
as his penis
-
Didn't like going
-
up her arse
-
Grunter or Shunter ?
-
Asked the senate
-
Shag my wife
-
No! not again :eek
-
her breath stinks
-
Like dead dogs
-
Locking dead fannys
-
Dripping with pus
-
Needing a Poultice
-
to draw the
-
rancid pus from
-
within her handbag
-
Sized arse boils
-
Sucked out by
-
a vacuum salesman
-
with a dustbag
-
masquerading as a
-
Jeremy Corbyns suit
-
with more charisma
-
Than Maggie Thatcher
-
But less intelligence
-
than Donald Strumpet
-
Sat tugging his
-
Hilary inflatable doll
-
Rather fuck Chelsea
-
He thought while
-
Monica blew him
-
and wiped spunk
-
on the curtains
-
then pulled them............
-
Over her head
-
for a sniff
-
Of bush's bush
-
Surely not Barbara's :eek
-
Cried George suddenly
-
while having supper
-
through a straw
-
Murdering old cunt
-
Who was eating............
-
grilled prostitutes flaps
-
with a side
-
Of blairs arsehole
-
With Gordon Browns......................
-
Economic recipes for
-
total foccing disaster
-
Coming up behind
-
Comrade corbyns hat
-
up Diane Abotts
-
hugely inflated ego
-
That's used for
-
giving blow jobs
-
To banned immigrants
-
while Corbyn rammed
-
one up Bercow
-
and his mrs
-
who likes a
-
Lot of cock
-
a doodle doo
-
With her breakfast
-
Cornflakes and cock
-
. Meanwhile in Foccerland
-
Heading out today :)
-
with his cock
-
strapped up with
-
Knives guns and
-
Thermals still Baltic
-
Sliding in on............
-
Stealth mode, zipper
-
Open, ready to
-
Have a piss
-
all over CORbins....................... :look
-
Rebel Diane Abbot
-
who likes it................
-
Up the arse
-
from Corbinestas wearing
-
Black strap ons
-
with spermicidal lubricant
-
dripping on the.............
-
Ugly cows arse
-
which is better
-
for generating gas
-
Than Theresa mays
-
Back bench rebels
-
wearing red Basques
-
with matching fishnets
-
In Strangers bar
-
Looking for somebody
-
having a wank...............
-
Over pictures of
-
Ann Widdecombe's tits
-
Covered in oil
-
. I feel sick
-
Said Jeremy corbyn
-
after muffing Theresa
-
And blowing Gordon
-
Ramsey's Kitchen up
-
because Jamie Oliver
-
Shagged Mary Berry..
-
without any lubricant
-
in the bake
-
Off tent opening
-
causing the zip
-
In Paul Hollywood's
-
Hidden third chin
-
to gape open
-
Ready for fisting
-
He's a biker
-
And a baker
-
But shit maker
-
like a candlestick
-
Used in Cludo
-
Penetrating professor plum
-
Via miss scarlets
-
Secret passageway door
-
To Colonel Mustards
(http://files.forensicmed.webnode.com/200000720-736c474664/cluedo_1949_characters_crop1.jpg)
-
Big lead pipe
-
In the bedroom
-
Shagging Mrs White
-
With a pineapple
-
Shaped like a
-
unusually large banana
-
dripping with clues
-
and a complete
-
Enigma wrapped mystery
-
How it happened
-
Colonel Custard said..........
-
You can shoveit
-
Up reverend green's
-
Gown and cassock
-
Finding no balls
-
Only choir boys
-
hiding under there
-
Along with three
-
hookers engaged min
-
Gobbling a donkey
-
Behind a tree
-
In Central park
-
with Hillary plunging
-
Her fat arse
-
along the length
-
Of Trump's trumpet
-
covered in jizz
-
And monkey spit
-
which ouzed down
-
Her anal warts
-
on to Monica's
-
teeth already covered
-
vice president Pence
-
I like this
-
the steel magnolia
-
Said to the
-
Supreme Court judges
-
While playing with
-
President Putin's balls
-
Who was wearing
-
Trumps cock as
-
a nose warmer
-
that whistled dixie
-
like a gimp
-
with no balls
-
having a beer
-
While singing soprano
-
In the nude
-
In Berkley square
-
Being watched by
-
flocks of nightingales
-
Ready to crap
-
on the hookers
-
flogging their pussys
-
To buy crack
-
to feed their
-
Pimps hungry children
-
Cannabis and chocolate
-
Giving Kinder surprise
-
vibrators to their
-
mothers and aunts
-
To use on
-
their dry old
-
skid marked bums
-
Stuck together with
-
Day old spunk
-
and KY jelly
-
that the FZ1
-
Sprays over hondas
-
Owners wife's faces
-
skidded on before
-
fisting with large
-
Yamaha con rods
-
up their BigEnds
-
Oiled with Yamalube
-
Prefer Castrol R
-
which smells brilliant
-
Like freshly baked
-
Yamaha RD 350
-
Two stroke smoke 💨
-
ideal for vaping
-
and blowing up
-
wanky Spanish banks
-
taking the piss
-
with daily 29%
-
Tax increases on
-
top of outrageous
-
Insurance premium increases
-
Coupled with fewer
-
get out clauses
-
and more costs
-
and was to
-
be applied to..........
-
Next years premiums
-
Along with multiple
-
old age restrictions
-
like no pension
-
Scamming bastards would
-
be considering introducing
-
tax on wheelchairs
-
and mobility scotters
-
which I use
-
While shagging the
-
woman next door
-
while we ride...............
-
The Hershey Highway
-
two up. Suddenly
-
Before us, appeared
-
great big knobs...............
-
Butter for lubricating
-
Trap two entrance
-
to slide into..............
-
the chutney locker
-
For Anal Aventures
-
and tight ring
-
of darkness fun
-
In strangers beds
-
While hubby away
-
the dirty slapper
-
Who everyone shags
-
At dinner time
-
working his bollocks
-
Into bloody pulps
-
Is purely fiction
-
but with Friction
-
Anything is possible
-
If Properly Lubricated
-
so it slips............
-
Right in there
-
The Marmite motorway
-
and KY jelly
-
on your sandwich
-
Between butt cheeks
-
Of solid steel
-
That crush walnuts
-
to a pulp
-
feels almost virgin
-
said the vicar
-
To the priest
-
Kiss my arse
-
and tell me
-
You love me
-
whilst ejaculating over
-
The choir boy's
-
Innocent little faces
-
pedophilles will love
-
Then get arrested
-
And strung up
-
using razor wire
-
Around their testicles
-
razor blades up......................
-
around the scrotum
-
just to enhance
-
the genital appearance
-
Of genital area
-
of Muslim women
-
resembling chopped liver
-
needing chopped onions
-
and loads of
-
Exotic foreign spices
-
And pork chops
-
to tempt the
-
Old dirty politicians
-
to reveal what
-
Expense claims are
-
For the Duckhouse
-
to be extended
-
across the channel
-
Saving the french
-
From the Nazis
-
Riding their BMW's
-
with Charlie Boorman
-
And obi wan
-
ker knob head
-
train spotting arse
-
bandit snorting coke
-
fired boilers emit
-
cocaine induced euphoria
-
like happy days
-
When I was
-
Actually a female
-
who was happy
-
dressing as a
-
Katie hopkins lookalike
-
who sucks cock
-
and swallows whisky
-
Like a true
-
southern redneck bitch
-
with an arse
-
For ghost chilli
-
fried on toast
-
With some grits
-
inserted sideways analy
-
and marinated in
-
Jose Cuervo Gold
-
lubricated bumpy condoms
-
For her pleasure
-
And safe sex
-
with a seatbelt
-
Strapped to your
-
throbbing hairy ballbag
-
secured with rivets
-
beginning to rust
-
And cause tetanus
-
As he farted
-
in her face
-
While pissing in
-
Nicola Sturgeons arse.............
-
Gaped wide by....
-
2" gaffer tape
-
and an expander
-
Shaped like a
-
Alex Salmond lookalike..........
-
Tossing his caber
-
all over himself
-
Big back yard
-
and really hard
-
Like cold lard
-
Said the guard
-
With a card
-
In his arse
-
For his mum
-
as it was
-
Up her bum
-
shagging her chum
-
with chewing gum
-
"You want some??"
-
Said the guard
-
To the Mum
-
playing the flesh
-
Trumpet like a
-
one eyed strumpet
-
eating a crumpet
-
covered in slippy
-
Old man grease
-
from her crack
-
in her sump
-
Pan smelling fishy
-
emulsifying into a
-
Rancid smelling gash
-
ready to splash
-
With cheap aftershave
-
and wood shavings
-
Smelling of pine
-
Like toilet cleaner
-
Down the bog
-
in your wellies
-
Up to your
-
Perky pink nipples
-
in the muck
-
Next to a
-
Strap on dildo. :rolleyes
-
Wearing priest, named
-
Reverend Fuck you...............
-
and everyone else
-
can have you
-
lulled into a
-
Falsed feeling of
-
love and endearment
-
when really all
-
is a shag
-
In the park
-
knee trembler time
-
or back scuttler
-
over the bonnet
-
Of a 76
-
chevrolet impala coupe
-
454 big block
-
with vinyl trim
-
Smelling of mink
-
round her quim.............
-
and looking like
-
a baboon's arse
-
like this one.
(https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.3BljIdiP_W18CJ-btNTLDAEDEs&w=177&h=206&c=8&rs=1&qlt=90&pid=3.1&rm=2) (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=photo+of+baboons+arse&id=2FDD22652CFBA9E05A5F7B523C93BC8E32BFF8D3&FORM=IQFRBA)
-
For F--k Sake :lol
-
We've lost it
-
oops sorry lads :o
-
You should be
-
toning that redness
-
with fanny batter
-
wiped on with
-
Mary berry's crispy
-
French knicker gusset
-
Black frilly lace
-
patent fanny patting
-
sucked by Hollywood
-
And his smelly
-
Rancid garlic breath
-
on glory hole
-
grapes removed with
-
a thermic lance
-
and some tweezers
-
Shaped like a
-
pair of Mels
-
Hairy piss flaps
-
stained with freezing.......
-
Lemon margaritas, served
-
on a hot
-
bed with pussy.............
-
getting a licking
-
all day long
-
until the sun
-
Goes down on
-
Nichola Sturgeons twat
-
which has never
-
been washed since
-
Alex Salmond Licked............
-
Too close to
-
her jock strap
-
on tartan dildo
-
resembling a caber
-
in his troosers
-
At his hoose
-
in the trossachs
-
holding a spurtle
-
dripping with porridge
-
and Fanny cheese
-
Blue with mould
-
from Danish wanker
-
coming for denmark
-
as does Carlsberg
-
which is crap
-
Piss tasting water
-
Like their bacon
-
only tasting saltier
-
than an eighty
-
year olds twat
-
in the sea
-
Atlantic or Pacific
-
Doesn't matter because
-
Tastes the same
-
as your mum
-
says it should
-
a cunning linguist
-
Comes from Norway
-
The land of
-
mountains and glaciers
-
where wee rocky
-
Blondes and beautiful
-
Beautiful bumchums reside
-
Fishing in Fjords
-
using no bait
-
and scaring the
-
Shit out of
-
all the fish
-
when caught out
-
taking the bait
-
hook line and
-
dirty smelly sinker
-
Made of lead
-
on yer head
-
receiving blow job
-
From a girl
-
with buck teeth
-
and dripping fanny
-
fangs sharp as
-
a samurai sword
-
Cutting through soft
-
wet shitty knickers
-
stinking of Tuna
-
And rotten eggs
-
coated in butyric
-
rubberised brass shavings
-
and soggy sawdust
-
soaked with beer
-
Flavoured warm piss
-
and strawberry jam
-
coming out from
-
the japs eye
-
needing medical treatment
-
because it was........
-
Bitten by you
-
and your aunt
-
While canoodling in
-
a bus shelter
-
On a cold
-
and windy summers..............
-
Evening in wales
-
watched by sheep
-
who were scared
-
Of rapey farmers
-
and other welsh
-
Folk in Wellies
-
Suspenders, hotpants and
-
and carrying dildos
-
made of leeks
-
and big cucumbers
-
99P at Tescos
-
Every little helps
-
to fill your................
-
sexual fantasies shagging
-
a live sheep
-
While a goat
-
watches from the
-
gimp box window
-
and a Llama
-
stolen from Dalai
-
Rubs his hairy
-
knob on the.......................
-
front room curtains
-
exposing Michael Caine
-
Who was only
-
shooting some scrotes....
-
In Harry Brown
-
remake down in
-
Bo Peeps Bush
-
Next to long
-
John Silvers leg
-
up Blackbeards arse
-
dripping with amoebic
-
dysentery farting and
-
splattering all the
-
All the perverts
-
felching by the
-
Local topless beach
-
getting glimpses of
-
Bare breasted beauties
-
and droopy tits
-
Tucked down into
-
which headed south
-
bouncing on knees
-
Deflated silicone implants
-
We've gotten sidetracked
-
again and again
-
getting to excited
-
Thinking about boobs
-
or maybe moobs
-
and fat arse's
-
Letting it rip
-
All over the
-
the foccers barbecue
-
Drinking,farting ,enjoying
-
the spring meet
-
on his own
-
With no friends
-
except his hand
-
and his thoughts
-
of dirty deeds
-
like wet farts
-
hoping that it
-
a follow through
-
will not spoil
-
His white thong
-
which was wedged
-
Tight up between
-
the crack of
-
Dawn bringing a
-
huge deluge of........
-
Bank holiday weather
-
consisting of pissing
-
Off a bridge
-
into the wind
-
and spraying yourself
-
with steaming hot...........
-
flagrant human waste
-
being dumped on
-
from a great
-
cauldron of effluent
-
Bio treated shite
-
made in england
-
onto the Welsh
-
sheep shaggers too
-
Busy to notice
-
the evil concoction
-
While humping Dolly
-
Molly Maisie Wally.............
-
Harry, Barry and
-
banging the ginger
-
Bitch next door
-
Someone is fantasising
-
about dwarfs humping
-
Snow white's sweet
-
Apple tasting pussy
-
to the core
-
What apple core ?????
-
Okay Granny Smiths
-
Knickers taste better
-
Decidedly Tuna flavour
-
With a hint
-
Cinnamon to take
-
away the taste...............
-
of fish breath
-
and fanny batter
-
done in breadcrumbs
-
And toenail clippings
-
deep fat fried
-
with mars bars
-
And beer battered
-
sweaty pussy lips
-
tasting like Tuna
-
from the sewer
-
that rats inhabit
-
Just like parliament
-
And Jeremy CorBin
-
As in European
-
union stitch up..........
-
Crazy euro bastards
-
watching tutti frutti
-
with Little Richard
-
And bill haley
-
and The Comets
-
run around like
-
Drug fuelled toddlers
-
falling over themselves.
-
pissed as rats
-
on calpol infused
-
Fake rubber tits
-
supplied by Jordan
-
the oxygen thief
-
who inhale's helium
-
and sings like
-
A cat being
-
shafted by a
-
pals the goastbusters
-
who were fucking
-
anyone in sight
-
with a big
-
dildo covered in
-
Gooey maple syrup
-
wrapped in bacon
-
Deep fat fried
-
in a mixture
-
Of fanny sweat
-
and knob cheese
-
Seasoned with a
-
bandit riders balls
-
Slapping against your
-
Ex wife's chin
-
whilst she is
-
Giving birth to
-
.
-
a grotesque dwarf
-
Much like Ant
-
Shagging his mate
-
Dec with a
-
Simon Cowell shaped
-
david walliams effigy
-
Blood and snot
-
Pouring from his
-
ragged sphincter oozing
-
All overs Amanda's "....
-
freshly siliconed tits
-
with perky nipples
-
yes "I would"
-
like organ stops
-
frosted with jizz
-
And cherry sprinkles
-
Les Dennis shagged
-
Dec up the
-
Arse with a
-
Amanda Holden's dildo
-
carved from a
-
Immigrants thigh bone
-
knobbly bits an'all
-
covered with wet.............
-
cement and immigrant
-
Pubes shaved from
-
Jeremy Corbins nutsack
-
then he said......
-
"Suck this Diane"
-
to which she
-
dropped to her
-
knees and unzipped
-
my big ........suitcase
-
which contained the
-
a boa constrictor
-
That was tony
-
The Tigers' nemesis
-
looking for something...
-
to spit roast
-
on a candle
-
In the wind
-
with sir elton
-
and tiny dancer
-
Hiding from lieutenant
-
Pigeons lost platoon
-
of shitty arsed
-
one legged footballers
-
Signed by arsenal
-
all Man U
-
are soft poofballers
-
stuck up snobs
-
who voted Tory
-
To save tax
-
from Corbin's gay
-
Friend ugly Abbott
-
licking his balls
-
With silver tongues
-
and stroking his
-
massive leftie ego
-
. Counting isn't her
-
Strong suit, neither
-
counting 4 balls
-
Nor fondling two
-
it didn't add
-
up to three
-
as one ball
-
hung 12 inches
-
below his knee
-
must be painful
-
as she kicked
-
his head in
-
causing his skull
-
to split revealing
-
an empty void
-
F-----g Cadburys Egg
-
No Theresa May's
-
Sour faced stare
-
that curdles milk
-
and making Yoghurt
-
in the cabinet
-
Next to the
-
Maggie Thatcher's putrefying
-
handbags and tampons
-
vampires lunch pack
-
she sucked off
-
All the miners
-
Miners or minors :eek
-
Asked the journalist
-
who's interests were
-
Helping old ladies.
-
Achieve super orgasms
-
Using rent boys
-
Paid with taxpayer's
-
cash stolen from
-
speeding bikers fines
-
Instead of bastard
-
peado scum and
-
Rochdale kiddie fiddlers
-
from the market
-
Town of Cranbrook
-
with Kentish cunt
-
following behind laughing
-
hysterically while his
-
Balls were in
-
A rat trap
-
Called London town
-
full of pimps
-
And also wimps
-
With painful limps
-
and Hillman imps
-
driven by gimps
-
dafter than chimps
-
riding in blimps
-
While eating shrimps
-
and crimping crimps
-
all the time
-
Oldgit can't rhyme
-
Any old time
-
covered in grime
-
Snot and slime
-
contemplating a crime
-
At any time
-
and drinking wine
-
aged and fine
-
It tastes divine
-
with cooked swine
-
and beer divine
-
using a stein
-
on the Rhine
-
with Sydney Devine
-
and Nobody's child
-
that's gone wild
-
getting people riled
-
With 999 dialed
-
the sergeant smiled
-
. You're fuckin knicked"
-
And getting dicked
-
as handcuffs clicked
-
fannys got licked
-
Knickers got nicked
-
Holes were picked
-
punters were tricked
-
Into being flicked
-
gimps got kicked
-
after being bricked
-
And left panicked
-
by the manic
-
phoney street preacher
-
The mad teacher
-
Called Jack Reacher
-
an odd creature
-
Brother to ask
-
A huge feature
-
said the preacher
-
to the teacher
-
in the classroom
-
not the bathroom
-
a splendiferous sojourn
-
when your podjerin
-
With great concern
-
whether or not
-
Said Sid snot
-
bi-sexual he's not
-
Covered in snot
-
Hot to trot
-
the bender's mascot
-
Hiding in epcot
-
with a scot
-
wearing a flowerpot
-
And pink Ascot
-
on his chubbie
-
little fat buddy
-
getting rather bloody
-
and also cuddly
-
while breast feeding
-
A baby iguana
-
at London zoo
-
for beer money
-
on Sunday afternoon
-
with The Kinks
-
Ironed out of
-
your best shirt
-
although a button
-
slipped up wifes
-
furry ying yang
-
furry ying yang????????????/ :lol
-
Asked the receptionist
-
taking the cock
-
Up the arse
-
To pay for
-
her next hairdo
-
complete with spikey
-
punk rockers hair
-
and bondage trousers
-
tied with string
-
her sausage wallet
-
shaved as bare
-
As a newborn
-
one legged klingon
-
shagging the neighbour's
-
cross eyed cat
-
up the arse
-
With firework laden
-
9 inch dong
-
with Prince Albert
-
oozing with infection
-
and rampant maggots
-
cumming up bums
-
and slapping buttocks
-
shouting yee·haw
-
ride her cowboy
-
That bucking bronco
-
Rode like a
-
Ivanised fazer 1000
-
That someone stole
-
from outside a
-
Gay strip bar
-
selling hot transgender..........
-
dildomasterbator machines for
-
free blow jobs
-
And long hot
-
steamy passionate shag
-
with Katie Price
-
with new tits
-
copiously weeping silicon
-
and saying everybody
-
Is a c*#t
-
With Essex accent
-
and tits oot
-
sitting on a
-
Big horses cock
-
with 1/2" slack
-
lazy hardon drooping
-
Down well below
-
its wrinkled ballbag
-
That had been...
-
Flicked and kicked
-
licked and tickled
-
by Carol Vorderman
-
Countdown to shagging.........
-
up the arse
-
as her pussy
-
Was beaten and
-
red raw and
-
turned inside out
-
While cooling down
-
with dry ice
-
and wild rice
-
cooked rape ready
-
to stuff into
-
Dark sticky orifices
-
dripping with treacle
-
and brass shavings
-
that itched like
-
An unwiped arsehole
-
after a vindaloo
-
from our local
-
pretend Indian curryhouse
-
run by Latvians
-
with big choppers
-
and small knobs
-
with ball bearings
-
in their catapults
-
which were aimed
-
at Diane Abbotts
-
huge fat arse
-
whilst it was.............
-
Parked in parliment
-
taking three spaces
-
for each cheek
-
crushing Corbyn,s penis
-
Shaped smart car
-
and Emily Thornbury's
-
one wheeled bike
-
Is doing laps
-
of the lords
-
and Westminster palace
-
as they have
-
no bloody idea
-
who to screw...........
-
next because they
-
have no brains
-
Or common sense
-
which is just
-
about par for
-
a labour MP
-
who takes it............
-
Orally and anally
-
in the house
-
at dingleberry dell
-
Right next to
-
the knocking shop
-
of bungalow bill
-
three times champion
-
At throwing young
-
inebriated transsexual interns
-
under passing trucks
-
On the m25
-
and then sweeping..............
-
the remains and
-
Sticky red residue
-
into his pocket
-
to roger later
-
to give himself
-
Some perverse gratification
-
and pubic crabs
-
thrown in for
-
a good scratching
-
of his giant
-
greasy bean stalk
-
when it gets
-
pumped up by
-
Damsels in distress
-
making a mess
-
all over Monica's
-
lily white tits
-
that Bill fondled
-
by titty twisting
-
and titty licking
-
the sick bastard
-
Was caught fingering
-
his neighbours young
-
gerbil at midnight
-
whilst humping Hilary
-
Clintons wrinkled arse
-
While bush watched
-
through a hole
-
In trumps jockstrap
-
and sniffing his
-
Wife's dirty panties
-
and drinking her...........
-
warm discharge through
-
her soiled tampon
-
that was squeezed
-
Into chipped glasses
-
iced with cheese
-
and whipped cream
-
topped off with
-
a wet nipple
-
And oily clit
-
being rubbed red................
-
raw by the
-
rampant pork sword
-
covered in sores
-
And syphilis boils
-
bursting out of
-
Jeremy CorBINs pocket
-
Sized purple helmet
-
that Diane Abbott
-
loved to suck
-
Theresa May's fanny
-
is rather wrinkly
-
and like a
-
Smashed mouldly kebab
-
that's going rancid
-
with crusty scales
-
and dripping pus
-
with cheesy bits
-
glistening, like ripe
-
oranges and lemons
-
Bitter and sweet
-
and tempting me
-
to suck it
-
...without anyone noticing... :moon
-
that I had
-
taken my teeth
-
out for sandblasting
-
by the Apprentice
-
Cock polisher named
-
Ramadic up me
-
whose brother Mustafapiss
-
Married girls called
-
Hamedit Upme and Bangin Dahass
-
said de bottyboy
-
while having a............
-
Quick Tommy tit
-
no bog roll
-
so use your
-
both hands to
-
pick your nose
-
one nostril at
-
least knuckle deep
-
dripping snot and
-
blood from hemorrhoids
-
on the floor
-
Pissed yet again
-
After drinking lots
-
rancid fanny batter
-
deep fat fried
-
in fresh piss
-
and malt vinegar
-
To serve over
-
fish and chips
-
served on a
-
bed of nails
-
with iceberg lettuce
-
and squashy tomatoes
-
crushed between tits
-
of gigantic proportion
-
Plump, veiny and
-
covered in tattoos
-
and grated cheese
-
and sprinkled with
-
Spicy jalapeno salsa
-
that tastes like
-
10 year old
-
egg mayonnaise with
-
red hot chilli
-
with smegma sprinkles
-
which were wonderful
-
stuck between your
-
dodgy false teeth
-
which were held
-
in place by....................
-
her dripping flange
-
staples and rivets
-
which can be..
-
inserted easily with
-
a big dollop
-
of original swarfega
-
to clean inside.....
-
of her rotten
-
rancid biscuit jar
-
which was full
-
of mouldy garibaldi's
-
And soggy borbons
-
filled with mouldy
-
fake chocolate paste
-
By Willy Wonka
-
In his factory
-
in sleepy hollow
-
at Dingly Dell
-
what a smell
-
Good Guinness shite
-
rather runny and
-
Its turning white
-
As a kkk
-
freshly laundered hood
-
sewn by a
-
Black immigrant woman
-
smoking a cigar
-
rolled by her
-
President, Donald Trump
-
With his tiny
-
willy hanging out
-
of the window
-
Of secret services
-
armour plated tank
-
whilst being followed...........
-
By Kim jong
-
and his dong
-
Bong missile which
-
went off early
-
Causing mass panic
-
due to aiming
-
at Putins arse
-
and ending up
-
In his vagina
-
called Kim jong-un
-
he loved it
-
as did the
-
north korea poeple
-
Because they didn't
-
like it up
-
North with the
-
black watch and
-
white wrist band
-
brigade. What a
-
sad load of........................
-
old pensioners were
-
were needing to....................
-
to get some
-
Action before they
-
Had their dinner
-
and a nap
-
or pulled their
-
skin over their
-
Grandkids ugly faces
-
and ran away
-
To giggle in
-
the face of
-
the ugly matron
-
whose jugs where
-
just above her
-
Wrinkly kneecaps, saggy
-
and heavily tattoo'd
-
and pierced with
-
Knives and forks
-
by sweaty dorks........
-
with spikey corks
-
and giant storks
-
carrying Baby Berk's
-
two circles jerks
-
with no perks
-
driving old Merc's
-
With hairy turks
-
in huge trucks
-
relying on luck
-
earning a buck
-
Learning to fuck
-
with no luck.
-
this does suck
-
I've come unstuck !
-
shagging a duck
-
Dentist who she
-
what the fu5k
-
duck! it's coming . . .
-
Shouted the guard
-
as an albatros
-
Swooped down and
-
laid an egg
-
In his hat
-
That was shaped
-
like an eggcup
-
But was actually
-
a small teacup
-
Used to store
-
Barnacles and crabs
-
and any old...............
-
Iron and brass
-
Victorian sex toys
-
used by frustrated
-
old suffragette women
-
whose sexual apparatus
-
Looked more ghastly
-
a horses ass
-
Is better looking
-
than their faces
-
and not so
-
Pretty as young
-
Welsh pit ponies
-
All tarted up
-
All tarted up
-
with suspenders and
-
Sexy pink stirups
-
Taken from kinky
-
Alice the curcus
-
Ringmasters shagging mat..........
-
Before she went
-
hell for leather
-
for a big.....................
-
sparkly dildo with
-
Suzuki Bandit written
-
Down the shaft
-
and two balls
-
Of Knitting wool
-
Replacing the testicals
-
that where placed
-
Around the neck
-
of the gimp
-
riding the donkey
-
Through the town
-
with Colonel Sanders
-
choking his chicken
-
Kiwi Filled Coconuts
-
in a McDonald's
-
Iced mocha frappe
-
covered in crappe
-
from the trapeze
-
at the circus
-
With the tigers
-
that mauled the
-
breasts of the
-
Fat ring master
-
while the ringmistress..........................
-
readied herself to
-
Be anally assulted
-
by the clown
-
With the biggest
-
fifty inch plasma
-
coated butt plug
-
Known to man
-
or to beast
-
will it fit????
-
the butt hole
-
Of a retired
-
Albanian clog dancer ???
-
Pondered the President
-
as he Rogered................
-
the bearded lady
-
While Mrs May....................
-
gave Boris one
-
off the wrist
-
Whilst diddling her.............
-
Poorest constituents out
-
Their Bingo Money
-
Was all spent
-
providing penis pumps
-
and bicycle pumps
-
To government chumps
-
with nasty lumps
-
and eating flumps
-
While suffering mumps
-
upon their bumps
-
And weird clumps
-
Like camels humps
-
Causing smelly dumps
-
with many lumps
-
Of chocolate brownies
-
And pubic sprinklies
-
for overworked crinklies
-
Cashing in pensions
-
lots of mentions
-
and some tension
-
at the convention
-
we dared mention
-
about an erection
-
due for inspection
-
in this section
-
by Uncle Frank
-
a fat yank
-
Having a wank
-
in a tank
-
a tommy tank??
-
Asked cockney frank
-
carrying a plank
-
into the bank
-
As a prank
-
On blankety-blank
-
sucking Les Dawson's
-
Lumpy bulbous nose.
-
Not His Knob ??????
-
for fifteen bob
-
. Bob-a-job
-
gang show orgy
-
Ten girls long
-
from Hong Kong
-
with a billabong
-
and large dong
-
banging the gong
-
J Arthur Rank
Has this turned into a rhyme? :pokefun and I don't mean Cockney Rhyming slang.
-
Having a Wank
-
on the plank
-
over a tank
-
Weather quite dank
-
Smelling quite rank
-
jizzed on flank
-
Looking rather blank
-
faced, our Frank
-
thought "sod this
-
Dr Seuss nonesense
-
all total bollox
-
Near St Rollox
-
with cunt kunst
-
and Sandra Dunst
-
with cunning stunts
-
and mucky fronts
-
punting a punt
-
without a dunt
-
on Gareth Hunt
-
a fox hunt
-
out in front
-
Whose in front ?????
-
oh that cnut
-
Hunt the shunt
-
shutting down hospitals
-
and crashing cars
-
while stroking cockerels
-
and eating eggs
-
like there was
-
absolutely no tomorrow
-
and definitely no
-
regrets from yesterday
-
society accepted him
-
as gimp of
-
the wankers club
-
for over sixties
-
out of action..
-
and needing Viagra
-
And stiffen up
-
thighs bums and
-
scrawny necks, which
-
never works well
-
as we hope
-
the sphincter muscle
-
will keep the
-
vermin infested colon
-
from infecting us
-
and the population
-
at large. The
-
imagination of all
-
and sundry catching........
-
the dreaded pox
-
combined with Australian
-
diggers riding donkeys
-
Wearing just leather
-
chaps with glittery
-
Balls dangling from..............
-
Beneath an oversized
-
helium inflated sack
-
the size of
-
Virgin air balloon
-
that looked like
-
a ball bag
-
That had been
-
made of leather
-
From the hides
-
of sexy armadillos
-
grilled with avocado
-
and steaming turds
-
On a hillbillies
-
hidden whiskey still
-
making moonshine that
-
tasted like rotgut
-
and rancid pussy
-
Mixed with fizzy
-
oil of anus
-
and nose pickings
-
from a spaceman
-
long dead from
-
marathon muff diving.
-
aboard the Russian
-
Lunar Space Station
-
That was stolen
-
from the martians
-
by Donald Trump
-
and his anal
-
love bead collection
-
Modelled from indian
-
giant rupees welded
-
To catwalk models
-
with pretty pussies
-
And empty souls
-
Only guilty of
-
tossing off Donald
-
For Instagram likes
-
for melanie sykes
-
and pykes in
-
on the dykes
-
with long pikes
-
Eels and tench
-
the fishy stench
-
combined with eggy
-
toast for breakfast
-
created quite a
-
stir in the................
-
Local branch of
-
Ann summers where
-
Donald was trying
-
on variously coloured
-
mens and ladies................
-
crotchless panties and
-
Taking selfies for
-
his adoring fans
-
to repost around
-
the tweeting community
-
for their entertainment.
-
and great hilarity
-
when he suddenly
-
Tweeted something inappropriate
-
and got arrested
-
and charged with
-
Fake news covfefe
-
with a lady
-
and her dog
-
Masquerading as mexican
-
wrestler, Hector Gonad
-
And Billy Bullshitter
-
plus Chico Gonados
-
And his sister.......
-
Dolores Vaginos the
-
naked fire eater
-
and penis balancer
-
with a singed.............
-
Minge from blasting
-
in the brothel
-
using lighter fuel
-
Instead of lube
-
warming her passage
-
for the next
-
outdoor circle jerk...... :lol
-
at high velocity
-
shooting his load
-
Up the road
-
instead of firing
-
over the fence
-
At the neighbours
-
dog that's sleeping
-
With your wife
-
every Sunday afternoon
-
Twice on Saturdays
-
And three times
-
Every other Wednesday
-
after Easter, including
-
Bank holiday Monday
-
And Michaelmas Sunday
-
But not on
-
the village green
-
sporting a large
-
and throbbing motorbike
-
firmly wedged sideways
-
in Kim Kardashian's
-
wide throbbing arsecrack
-
parked securely for
-
some hard dogging
-
with donkeys and
-
oily baseball bats
-
for shoving up
-
the nearest bandit
-
watching from the
-
Honda motorcycle garage
-
pulling his kwacker
-
with a pair
-
of exhaust cans.........
-
taken from a
-
Morris Marina belonging
-
to his granny
-
Who has some
-
weed in her
-
in her handbag
-
and is looking............
-
Cougarly towards her
-
new smart car
-
powered by a
-
dwarf in the
-
reclining back seat
-
Wearing only a
-
Sparkly Mankini and
-
and holding his
-
Left testicle in
-
in a catapult
-
made from old
-
Ladies vaginal lips
-
And Plaited Pubic
-
Warts, held together
-
with congealed discharge
-
On used tampons
-
riveted with hard
-
solidified boggies that
-
crunch when crushed
-
into a cocktail
-
of sweaty piss
-
like a teenagers
-
Erotic wet dream
-
including seahorses ejaculating
-
sperm whales jizm
-
all over the
-
twenty nine virgins
-
that were promised
-
a good rogering
-
By a rabbit
-
wearing a French-tickler
-
on the end
-
of his nose
-
which was stuck
-
Up Trumps arse
-
by an NRA
-
spokesperson desperate to
-
Sell more guns
-
to teenagers who
-
Would shoot trump
-
rather than let
-
his hair fly
-
Over his wall
-
Into Mexico's leading
-
Too trump impersonators
-
plus Nelly the
-
elephant singing her
-
songs of praise
-
with an oompah
-
and big trumpet
-
superglued to the
-
end of her
-
Small perky little
-
Mole on her
-
great big trunk
-
packed full of
-
ancient sardines, marinating
-
in warm guinness
-
and leprechaun piss
-
that is ripe
-
for spooning onto
-
Corbyns Russian Cap
-
that Mi5 sent
-
to get filled
-
with parliamentary bullshit
-
from Diane Abbott
-
Sucking Corbyns Lollipop
-
after it's insertion
-
in her left
-
hand drive car
-
provided by constituents
-
of the country
-
called Jamaica man
-
Off Jamaica Road
-
somewhere anyway. But
-
nowhere anytime soon
-
other than Jamaica
-
would admit to
-
Shagging Jeremy CorBIN
-
Who told you?
-
said Diane Abbot
-
who farted loudly
-
directly into Corbyn's
-
Russian Mafia Cap
-
that was still
-
perched upon his..........
-
pet iguana Cyril
-
who was licking.......
-
corbyns left earlobe
-
after having eaten
-
the wax from
-
behind Diane's crotch
-
that was rather....
-
near the floor
-
after a good
-
rogering from her...............
-
blind boyfriend who
-
shags in braille
-
a rather bumpy
-
ride was had............
-
by both of
-
Them and another
-
Cuckolder who had
-
carried a plank
-
to support Diane's
-
fat arse whilst.......
-
her anal warts
-
were slowly pulsating
-
in time with
-
Jeremy Corbyns Manifesto
-
which was rolled
-
up and shoved
-
in his back................
-
room gimp box
-
with his vibrators
-
and various lubes
-
to be applied
-
when Theresa May
-
removed her ironclad
-
split crotch panties
-
From Boris' head
-
as he pushed
-
her over the..............
-
the EU fence
-
Into Claude Junkheaps........
-
gaping EU manifesto
-
for future enjoyment
-
Of Germans everywhere
-
Schweinehund! she cried
-
as Gove plunged
-
his pork sword
-
into her bratwurst
-
that was being..........
-
thoroughly mashed up
-
by BBROWN1664s Gnashers
-
along with a
-
replica of Donald
-
Ducks hairy balls
-
and Ronald McDonald's
-
Bag of Chips
-
from a happy
-
meal consisting of
-
Bulls balls and
-
rather tasty sheeps'
-
testicles marinated in...........
-
Teen acne puss
-
and a phall
-
Curry to go........
-
with a weak
-
smattering of Jalapeno
-
on the side
-
Of a little-lamb
-
favoured by Welsh
-
Sex offenders named
-
in Savile's Will
-
and the Bishop's
-
staff in hand
-
to beat the
-
fornicating heathens back
-
over the border
-
where they belong
-
because they fuck
-
sheep for fun
-
and eat burgers
-
Made from horse
-
without mayo but
-
pussy juice instead
-
and jumbo fries
-
From Burglar King
-
. Turd Burglar King
-
Also known as
-
The Arse Bandit
-
or the Brown
-
Wing Commander of
-
The Rogering Flight.
-
enroute with flaps
-
extended for landing
-
at Mach speed
-
warp factor nine.
-
Entering the stargate
-
cock in hand
-
ready to enter...............
-
the black hole
-
that was home
-
To Teresa Mays
-
pet labour leader
-
Jeremy Shagger CorBIN
-
whose Bar Mitzvah
-
created a stir
-
At Buckingham Palace
-
back court with
-
Her Majesty Cheering
-
jeering and gesticulating
-
And Charles Playing...........
-
croquet with big
-
Bat and Balls
-
dangling right on
-
top Meghan Markles....
-
little brown titties
-
Whilst harry Cheered.................
-
and began caressing....
-
The Queens Corgi's
-
turning them ginger
-
Except One! which....
-
Was blacker than
-
Diane Abbots crinkled
-
wrinkled hairy arsehole
-
after it had
-
Been kicked by.......................
-
the Captain of
-
The Golden Hind
-
Pub in Hampshire
-
After drinking 10..............
-
pints of Guinness
-
and 2 coffees
-
along with liquorice
-
Allsorts laced with...............
-
Angela Merkel's love
-
Child's immigrant DNA
-
mixed with Assad's
-
trophy wife's jism
-
"Swig it" shouted
-
Corbyn from back
-
of Bercows chair...............
-
complete with chains
-
and medieval weapons
-
attached to his
-
Suit of Armour
-
gently rusting away
-
and looking old
-
like "foccers" here...
-
after drinking petrol...............
-
laced with blood
-
and chocolate sprinkleys
-
he self combusted
-
leaving a greasy
-
Skidmark in his.................
-
Shit caked pants
-
then got on............
-
a grotty honda
-
and kick started..........
-
the red XR400
-
which left a
-
trail of oily..............
-
fish guts exiting
-
Oldgits garden shed
-
where he kept
-
two gimps, and
-
and two wimps...
-
in a cage
-
ready to transport
-
To Blackpool Illuminations
-
and parade them
-
on the beach
-
with the donkeys
-
that have long..............
-
ears which women
-
love to fondle
-
as it reminds
-
them of their...……….
-
years in porno
-
with Italian stallions
-
. the horses not
-
ready for riding
-
were waiting for
-
the stable girl....................
-
to give them
-
a quick wank...............
-
with large rubber
-
matting, put down
-
to catch the...........
-
Hydraulic schmoo, which...
-
dribbled down the....
-
the arms of
-
the stable girl.........
-
deeper she cried
-
as Mr Frogmore
-
lost his balance
-
and plunged headfirst..............
-
into the slimy
-
bucket of fish................
-
that smelt better
-
10 weeks ago
-
when it was............
-
mixed with effluent
-
just off Blackpool
-
Pier toilet block
-
used for cottaging
-
and dogging on
-
every third Wednesday
-
after the second
-
rising of the
-
of the turd
-
also known as
-
levitating the lavvie.
-
and polishing turds
-
rolled in glitter
-
and stuffed up.............
-
Mrs Frogmore's gaping
-
trouser leg that.............
-
was wrapped round
-
Mrs Frogmore's neck
-
please don't fart
-
in my face........
-
she shouted through
-
a bullhorn attached
-
to the gimp
-
Mask he wore....
-
Twice a week
-
after having rough
-
sex with his..........
-
octogenarian one eyed
-
Albanian Clog Dancer
-
who emigrated to
-
the outer hebrides
-
for sheep shagging
-
wearing green wellies
-
and a bright
-
shocking pink condom
-
he bought from
-
Boy George's shop
-
which also smelt
-
Of wet knickers
-
which also had
-
Donkey cum stains
-
and gentlemans relish
-
dripping through holes
-
perforated in the
-
secondhand condom by
-
Big knitting needle
-
to try and
-
Crochet it better
-
Than trumps wig
-
or May's wrinkled
-
Number ten brazillian
-
which was dripping
-
With Boris Johnsons
-
slimy ear wax
-
amongst other things
-
he dropped on
-
her skidmarked arse.
-
World cup Willie,
-
The gayest mascot
-
since Gazza screwed
-
his right fist..........
-
up four bellies
-
and pulled out ????????
-
just before the
-
Police walked in
-
and charged him
-
with impersonating a
-
heavy weight pisshead
-
though that was
-
Not too far
-
From the truth
-
actually. His brother,
-
shopped him to
-
The Womens Institute
-
for knitting on
-
on oldgits bike
-
wearing a mankini
-
with his todger..........
-
strategically placed in
-
In his best...............
-
Friends wife, until
-
he pushed it
-
up her left
-
armpit. Her hands
-
Were firmly tied
-
to her husbands
-
Harley Davidson mirrors
-
Just in case
-
she fell over
-
and landed on
-
A better bike
-
and got hurt
-
in the nether
-
regions and cried
-
out to her
-
favourite creepy uncle,
-
Sir Jimmy saville
-
please massage my............
-
aching arse, and
-
make my dreams
-
of killing you.........
-
subside to thoughts
-
of shagging myself.............
-
as its far
-
and away fannytastic
-
dreams, which include
-
taking it up........
-
To the very
-
height of passion
-
with a gigantic
-
hot air balloon
-
kitted out with
-
A gas bottle
-
neatly inserted up
-
inside the fundament
-
at the left
-
hand side of..................
-
the gimp box
-
That was filled
-
to the brim
-
with oily residue
-
From his grotty
-
Smelly little arsehole
-
that followed him.....
-
every where, and
-
nowhere, dribbling mucus
-
all over his..........
-
salmon sandwich he
-
liked to lick
-
the crusts first.
-
then bite into...................
-
the vile concoction
-
before spitting it
-
Over his dog
-
who thought that
-
it was time...............
-
for draggies as
-
his lipstick was
-
beginning to wilt
-
and stain his..............
-
Labrador lips bright
-
as his helmet
-
was after a
-
night on the..............
-
Orient Express, chugging.....
-
acid drops drips
-
into his japs
-
ouch that stings
-
plus it swells
-
said the Bishop
-
to the actress
-
right after she...
-
bent over, showing
-
best mate for
-
The boiler stoker
-
to stoke her
-
casting furnace which
-
had enormous labia
-
and ginormous clitty
-
clitty bang bang
-
Boiler stoker sang
-
Wang Wang Wang....................
-
Ptang Ptang Wham
-
Thank you mam
-
you are welcome
-
COCK! She cried
-
more Cock was
-
Quickly brought out .....
-
on a plate
-
with pickled onions
-
and foreskin cheese
-
with grilled gonads
-
on a plate
-
and a glass
-
of 75 year
-
Old monkey jism
-
diluted with numerous
-
glasses of scotch
-
just to give
-
them some flavour
-
don't need it
-
she cried, I
-
have eaten the
-
best bollocks ever............
-
Very sweet breads
-
off a giant
-
with an enormous
-
pair of bollocks
-
hanging very low.
-
which were easily
-
within fondling reach
-
of each other
-
and hanging well
-
out into the
-
Way of the..............
-
Zip or button
-
of his lederhosen
-
that he was
-
wearing because he...................
-
was touring Germany
-
on a Fazer
-
with square wheels
-
and false teeth
-
kept in his
-
grotty underpants, which
-
were full of..............
-
all kinds of
-
unmentionable pornographic toys..................
-
with which to
-
roger his next
-
one legged victim
-
jake the peg
-
When erect he
-
was bent over
-
and got splinters
-
in his bow-tie
-
which hurt his
-
enormous spotty penis
-
which was stuck.............
-
to his hand
-
that was holding
-
so tightly it
-
started going blue
-
and then he
-
inserted a long
-
:lol :lol :lol
-
puncture repair needle
-
In his condom
-
which burst, covering
-
Everybody in copious "............
-
amounts of slimey
-
scot oil, and
-
gunge,but he
-
patched the hole
-
....cleverly, with a.....
-
Piece of sticky.......
-
fencing that he
-
Stole from the............
-
Moderator of the
-
Gold wing forum
-
who was his
-
Best mates bumchum
-
sometimes his too
-
On rampant nights
-
while bent over
-
trying to fix
-
his loose wheel
-
That turned into.........
-
a big throbbing
-
sore thumb stuck
-
Up Theresa Mays........
-
nose,but then
-
Jeremy Corbyn decided.........
-
to stick his
-
Ugly face up.............
-
where the sun
-
Will not shine
-
unless you get
-
a blowtorch on
-
The end of..........
-
a glass tube
-
and ram it
-
Up Corbyns Arse...........
-
Sideways as he....
-
Shags Diane .Abbot
-
with a giant
-
calculator due to....
-
her being shit
-
at all kinds
-
figures and estimates
-
And all things
-
to do with
-
using her brain.
-
instead of her
-
Hand held calculator
-
with which she
-
Crunched the numbers
-
of her expenses
-
making sure parliament
-
was totally hoodwinked
-
and shafted by
-
every single MP
-
who were Corbyn's
-
old rent boys
-
Who took it............
-
right up the
-
Old Kings Road
-
from whence came
-
The Chelsea tractor..........
-
and the snowflake
-
who proceeded to
-
whine that every
-
other person was
-
trying to shaft
-
this poor wee
-
fixie bike rider
-
For being a.........
-
complete bell end
-
Like his friend........
-
Julian Clary, who
-
thought that s/he
-
was a fairy
-
Who liked gobbling.........
-
sausage shaped objects
-
Firm and erect
-
with a creamy
-
Sauce coming from
-
deep within the
-
Warehouse of tescos
-
finest. Meanwhile, somewhere
-
else someone was.....
-
trying to blow
-
the bloody doors
-
off May's house
-
And steal her
-
spare dildo,but
-
Was shot in.........
-
the left nipple
-
While sucking his.............
-
wet but throbbing
-
Thumb which had
-
smelt like dazza's
-
Gusset on Saturday........
-
night,after a
-
gutful of Guinness
-
And a lick
-
of sloe gin
-
From Lilly Allen's............
-
best pair of
-
baggy y fronts
-
That covered her......
-
deformed right buttock.
-
but only just
-
Leaving her quim...........
-
on show to
-
resemble a large
-
rotten gash needing
-
cleaning and perhaps
-
pulling through with
-
A double duvet
-
studded with spikes
-
from an old
-
skip behind the
-
School bike sheds
-
where she learned
-
How to knit
-
willy warmers for
-
Dazza's tiny todge
-
That was shrinking
-
faster each day
-
to become inverted
-
with just a
-
countersunk hole in
-
place of a
-
large erect throbbing
-
thimble sized todger
-
which wasn't even
-
any bigger than
-
fixie riders was
-
managing to ride
-
the arse off
-
a Kawayamahondasuki fixi
-
who was also
-
a perverted abuser
-
of all types
-
flatulence torture in
-
time of need
-
it achieved the
-
Required result before.......
-
coming to quickly
-
to a smelly
-
kind of substance
-
left on his
-
bed sheet,which
-
showed up under
-
ultra violet lighting
-
which then fused
-
and sterilized his
-
finest hand made
-
From a maidens......
-
chastity belt,he
-
nicked from Madonna
-
After shagging her
-
in his dreams
-
Twice on Saturdays
-
and then waking
-
to find this
-
Protrusion on his............
-
already extremely sore
-
Swollen left toe
-
matching the one
-
on the end
-
Of his left.......
-
bollock which is
-
twice the size
-
of a basketball
-
caused by injecting
-
lots of steroids
-
into a sheep's
-
intestine and then
-
sucking them through.......
-
large bagpipes with
-
a paper straw
-
stuffed far up
-
the sheeps willy
-
which made it
-
even bigger and
-
veined like a
-
Shemale body builder
-
who had just
-
suffered a really
-
horrendous shagging with......
-
a forty inch
-
nuclear tipped dildo
-
now you're just
-
about to explode
-
covering everyone in
-
loads of minced.......
-
arse and lips
-
which reminded me
-
of shepherds pie.....
-
fromWales, which
-
is made from
-
several types of
-
minced shepherds and.......
-
bulls bollocks,then
-
it's fried in........
-
ancient knob cheese
-
on the barbeque
-
with some lovely
-
tasty dogs bollocks
-
very tasty,especially
-
if marinated in
-
pedigree sheepdog sperm
-
yummy! I'm starving
-
she said loudly
-
as she looked
-
like shit herself
-
And farted loudly
-
to the tune
-
of General Bogey
-
reaching all the
-
Audience in the...........
-
local sheep shaggers
-
yearly get together
-
at the local
-
Young farmers group
-
in Darkest Yorkshire
-
ee by eck
-
oh fuck said.....
-
the head shagger
-
with a tortoise
-
in the fridge
-
along with his
-
burnt frying pan
-
That was cooling.........
-
in the Toilet
-
With the broken
-
seat and leaking.......
-
cistern, held up
-
By oldgits braces.
-
and incontinence pants
-
the tortoises had
-
a penis extension
-
made from an
-
old tortoise neck
-
which had died
-
because the refrigerator
-
had stopped freezing
-
when the bailiffs
-
arrived to suck
-
My drippy knob........
-
with suppurating scabs
-
oozing puss all
-
Over my feet
-
and running out
-
of my sandals
-
onto my best
-
red carpet, put
-
down especially for
-
the neighbours to......
-
vomit on when
-
they came for.........
-
pigs trotters and
-
dogs bollocks on........
-
toast,but suddenly
-
From behind the
-
sofa,the dog
-
Performed six handstands (Pawstands)
-
and backflipped twice
-
before shitting on
-
the coffee table
-
and pissing in.....
-
before licking out
-
Mrs Mays teapot
-
and chugging off
-
To the pub
-
to drink about
-
47 cans of
-
John Smiths Bitter
-
or similar piss
-
or similar piss
Bought in sixpacks
-
as they had
-
a special offer.......
-
for pissheads to
-
to buy tasteless
-
piss called beer
-
and then wretch
-
Till their guts..................
-
ached as badly
-
As losing three..............
-
teeth without cocaine
-
or any other
-
Anaesthetic, but brandy
-
Makes you randy.............
-
but brewers droop
-
Makes you stoop
-
and Buckfast makes
-
you horny as
-
a goat on
-
top grade viagra
-
From boots chemists
-
who will also
-
enjoy auto erotic
-
Fellatio for free.....
-
providing you can
-
turn your penis
-
Over the counter
-
and hold it.........
-
in a vice
-
Till your balls...........
-
turn purple ready
-
to burst completely
-
Splattering baby batter ........
-
all over the
-
Fucking Brexit Post
-
of May spreadeagled
-
over Barnier's pulsating
-
bottle of wine.....
-
and baguette, hot
-
stuffed with the
-
remnant's of Moggs
-
Full English Breakfast
-
being thrown up
-
Over The Speaker
-
as he performed
-
oral on Eyore
-
with a mackerel
-
Up his arse
-
to lubricate his
-
smelly dung funnel
-
because he had
-
just eaten his.......
-
pile reducing liquid
-
on white bread....
-
with jalapeno sauce
-
and was running.......
-
whilst screaming with
-
Mrs May's Knickers........
-
over his head
-
taking deep breaths
-
because the stink
-
caused spontaneous combustion
-
of all the
-
Parliamentary Back Scuttlers
-
and remainer blobs
-
who were eating
-
and probably swallowing
-
Corbyn's knob cheese
-
After Question Time
-
in which Theresa
-
was going to
-
give Grayling her.................
-
best blow job
-
ever, using a
-
Lib Dem Method
-
of going on
-
and talking bollocks
-
as well as
-
Fucking up Brexit
-
whilst gobbling his
-
crispy bacon sarnie
-
resulting in chronic
-
sore ars syndrome
-
like Ed Sillyband
-
and Tony B.Liar
-
those diamond geezers
-
with wanking tweezers
-
for their extremely
-
long pubic hairs
-
And swollen ballbags
-
that are swollen......
-
like their ego's
-
swollen with what?.
-
creamy testicle juices
-
injected by stupid
-
politicians with small
-
brains and tiny
-
tiny,tiny,todgers
-
that action man
-
with gripping hands
-
would have difficulty
-
riding a donkey
-
let alone Theresa
-
Gobbling Barnier in
-
Junkers wine cellar
-
high on cocaine
-
and low on...........
-
libido,resulting in
-
viagra being needed
-
to raise his
-
EU popularity rating
-
since his helmet
-
was stuck up.............
-
Nigel's swollen ring
-
road as traffic
-
built up for
-
the return to work
-
as usual, but
-
nobody realised that
-
down a manhole
-
was an enormous
-
hairy arsed biker.............
-
snorting crack from
-
a sweaty jockstrap
-
Recently removed from........
-
May's toy boy
-
who was playing.........
-
while Britain burned
-
and turned to...........
-
her Japanese friend
-
who pushed sushi
-
up Mays nose
-
whilst singing the
-
Foc off Murray
-
Murray foccin who???
-
Mint, was the
-
flavour of her
-
Andy Murray Mint
-
with tennis elbow
-
And sweaty fanny.............
-
that needed a
-
dirty licking by
-
Englands brightest spark....
-
Boris foccin' Johnson
-
but he refused
-
to bend down.............
-
unless he could
-
give head to
-
john bercows wife............
-
whilst rimming corbyn
-
and also muffing....
-
Anna Soubery's wrinkled
-
pet dalmation dog..........
-
and
-
her pet pussy
-
which she fondled
-
with obvious passion....
-
since VNA loved
-
To jerk off...................
-
while he watched
-
Hammond beating his.................................
-
very tiny penis
-
with john majors............
-
rather large bollocks
-
to the tune
-
Una Paloma Blanca
-
That sounds painful
-
you'd think,but
-
Hammond chugged away
-
on his mobility...............
-
supplied dildo, which
-
vibrated whenever he...................
-
minced along Parliament
-
strangers bar wearing
-
his thong and .......
-
wanking off behind
-
Jeremy corbyns hampster
-
tryin knot two
-
Drop iz kippur
-
on Yvette Cooper
-
And narrowly missing........
-
kurt cobains nose
-
that was stuck................
-
up Corbyns ass.
-
and Corbyn said..........
-
does it smell?
-
like teen spirit
-
No maidens water..............
-
up this crack
-
Or maybe Abbotts
-
plundered black ass
-
Yuk! no thanks
-
nor for me.
-
Said Bercow, fondling
-
his pet pussy
-
borrowed from Downing
-
streets chancellors dustbin
-
where all the
-
state secrets are
-
visibly filed away
-
From Corbyn's prying
-
eyes,when suddenly
-
Tony B liar appears........
-
with sycophantic smile
-
and his ugly...........
-
wife who looks
-
like Quasimodo's used....................
-
lump,oozing puss
-
from her left
-
drooping lower lip
-
and scratching her......
-
well used pussy
-
screaming at Tony
-
saying Shag my..................
-
big fat ass
-
you smiling bastard..
-
it's the third
-
time this has..........
-
gone up my
-
blocked left nostril
-
are you blind
-
Asked the bitch
-
"I said my
-
swollen piles are
-
Itchy and raw
-
after filing them
-
liquidized red peppers
-
into every crevice
-
where the sun...........
-
Barely ever seems
-
get above the
-
the old thatched
-
minge,which incidently
-
needed trimming with
-
large brush cutter
-
driven by Oldgit
-
wearing a respirator
-
because of the
-
odour emanating from
-
the petrol engined.............
-
passion wagon,which
-
never been cleaned
-
And never will....
-
Because nobody dares
-
to upset other.......
-
passion wagon owners
-
For fear of
-
getting a dose
-
Of cod-liver oil
-
squirted up their
-
bell end using
-
a compressor hose
-
And industrial sized
-
andrex toilet rolls...........
-
to mop up
-
all the jism.........
-
that was blasted
-
From the fanny
-
of somebodys dog
-
after Corbyn finished
-
riding its arse
-
All the way
-
to the hilt
-
filmed by ITV
-
For the BBC
-
also Sky Tv
-
who used a
-
dildo shaped GoPro
-
To enter Trump
-
in the tossers.......................
-
big oval
office orifice
-
that appeared behind
-
Melanias stunt doubles
-
that looked like............
-
a ginger dwarf
-
you mean Dopey?
-
Said the Vicar
-
no I'm Grumpy
-
your a tosspot
-
and a wanker
-
I'll fuck your . . .
-
arse wednesday week..................
-
after the choirboy
-
and NOT before !
-
But I can
-
give a good............
-
blow job,if
-
your dongler is
-
Is squeeky clean...........
-
and scab free
-
and rock hard..................
-
before Chukka is
-
tossed off by..........................
-
Anna Soubry behind
-
Boris's bike sheds
-
While The Speaker..................
-
Buggers Jeremy Corbyn
-
whilst spanking Theresa
-
Mays pet monkey............
-
before shooting his
-
Load all over
-
Boris Johnson's head
-
while he is
-
Licking Diane Abbott's..............
-
Hairy stink hole
-
searching for dangleberries............
-
hanging from her
-
Huge beef curtains
-
that are dripping
-
With corbyn sauce
-
and Foreign body's..........
-
leaking all over
-
Rhys Moggs nanny's
-
Twisted left tit
-
that was taken
-
from her pocket
-
with various dildos
-
used for ass
-
Annihilation of all
-
Snowflake arse bandits...............
-
and their friends
-
every friday night
-
after a curried
-
Peach was inserted
-
Into Jeremy Corbyns ..............
-
already punished arse
-
suck it out
-
using a vactruck
-
say's Anne Soubrey
-
I'll show you
-
How it's done..............
-
said Tony B.Liar
-
As he bombed
-
iraq during the............
-
pointless gulf war
-
making millions for
-
Himself and his...............
-
Two timing cronies
-
to spend on
-
Cherie's sex toys
-
Diamond studded Vibrator ????...................
-
up Bliars arse
-
'deeper ' he shouted
-
as Brown hammered
-
it in sideways
-
whilst looking through..............
-
the latest"SWANK"
-
As in Hilary
-
who conquered Everest
-
with his sherpa..............
-
who showed him
-
The Abominable Snowman's.....................
-
rather large penis
-
which was totally
-
covered with frost......
-
Which squirted yummy
-
love juice, all
-
over the other
-
couple shagging for
-
all their worth
-
to the tune
-
Of Colonel Bogey...............
-
or some other
-
Load of musical
-
(word used loosely)
-
Oldman's brain cell
-
Which is lonely..........
-
cos he's dimmer
-
than a worn
-
out labour politician
-
who was sleeping
-
With Ed balls
-
whilst sucking them
-
through a straw
-
whilst fingering three.............
-
Labour transvestites left
-
wing policy advisors
-
and other arseholes
-
like Jeremy Corbyn
-
Tom Watson and
-
Uncle Tom Cobley
-
and all,and
-
not forgetting Mrs...................
-
May in suspenders
-
and no knickers
-
Shouting I'm fucked
-
most nights,and
-
Starmer hoping to
-
Give her one
-
up the arse
-
Without any lubrication...........
-
using his small
-
torch to find.........................
-
any dangleberries or
-
Some such delicacies
-
for nibbling just
-
to take the
-
edge off his.....................
-
complete lack of
-
interest in shit
-
and sweaty bollocks
-
until the next
-
orgy is arranged
-
at May's boudoir
-
with corbyn attending
-
just for appearances
-
And Bercow fucking..........................
-
a donkey with
-
May's old dildo.
-
with dead batteries
-
as fucking usual
-
but help is
-
At hand, Camoron.............................
-
sneaks in with
-
a steam powered
-
vibrator,hot and
-
rampant, just like................
-
Theresa on heat
-
Suddenly, a massive
-
purple dildo appeared..................
-
menacingly close to
-
Theresa's protruding pissflaps
-
that Bercow had
-
rogered that morning
-
after his breakfast
-
of pubes and
-
bell end cheese
-
Spread upon Abbots.......................
-
big black arse
-
Not very nice................
-
for the actress
-
Said the Bishop
-
Hold this instead..
-
"it's big!" she
-
pulsating blue veined
-
piece of stilton
-
. disgusting stuff said
-
the local handyman
-
as he dug
-
yet another piece
-
wensleydale out of
-
Mrs Mays pocket
-
along with several
-
used toffee wrappers
-
and old johnies
-
from the 1940's
-
used of course
-
by Field Marshal
-
Montgomery,who also
-
Shagged Erwin Rommel
-
at El Alamein
-
and in Italy
-
And in his..............
-
foreskin was sand
-
spiders, big Foccers
-
and other such
-
eight legged beasties
-
all wanking off........
-
to David Attenborough
-
who was shagging.........................
-
Kate Humble's large
-
rucksack that she..........
-
held for him
-
to squirt into........
-
to test the
-
texture of his
-
Home made casserole
-
and spotted dick
-
covered in custard.......
-
and raisins with
-
just a drizzle
-
of jizim spread
-
evenly all over.........
-
his erect todger
-
that was ready.........
-
to enter the
-
house of commons
-
and vote for..............
-
whoever comes last
-
premature ejaculators exempt
-
but only for
-
the special handshake
-
Given by the...............
-
speaker of the
-
house of wankers
-
after he's finished.................
-
muffing Yvette Cooper
-
whilst Edd Balls............
-
jacks off to
-
the tune of
-
the Dambusters theme
-
quickly followed up
-
by the stupendous
-
anal trumpet rendition
-
of Satchmo's classic
-
Kiss of fire
-
after a vindaloo
-
Which sounded like
-
a high pitched
-
blood curdling scream
-
from a drowning
-
Politician in pain
-
Boris with piles
-
Soothed by Corbyn
-
using Mays special
-
remainers soothing anal..............
-
Liniment. Good for
-
lubing up your
-
knob ready for.............
-
a night of
-
utterly rampant debauchery...........
-
followed swiftly with
-
A cuppa coffee...................
-
and a fag
-
ready to shag............
-
anyone who's available
-
with two tight
-
holes....well one
-
that's seen some
-
pounding and the
-
Other not stretched...........
-
but gently worked
-
with ever increased
-
dexterity and tenderness
-
and well oiled
-
double ended spanners
-
:lol :lol :lol
-
instead of dildos
-
And anal beads
-
Cock in hand,
-
Ready to perform
-
suddenly....brewers droop
-
Where's the Viagra............
-
Cried Nigel as
-
he hunted through
-
Mrs Mays suitcase
-
and eventually found
-
Boris Johnson hiding.........................
-
a large pair
-
of Diane Abbotts...............
-
open crotch knickers
-
complete with skidmarks........
-
and cans of
-
used anal beads
-
thick with greasy
-
reminders of lust
-
And pixie Dust
-
for a magical
-
vibrating sensation in
-
the bowel movements
-
and other erotic
-
things people do...........................
-
with donkeys and
-
dildos and other
-
Phallic shaped vibrators....................
-
pushing them into
-
tight sweaty orifice's...........
-
and loose ones
-
Ready too be.....................
-
thrusted in and
-
out,with gusto
-
and enjoyment nightly
-
Week after week.......................
-
until one night
-
the orifice closed......................
-
after depositing a
-
shiny polished turd..........
-
which got completely
-
entangled in Boris's
-
Pile removing applicator
-
that he kept.........
-
discretely hidden from
-
prying eyes,and
-
only took out.....................
-
on very special
-
days when Corbyn..............
-
was feeling horny
-
and Nigel was
-
Acting the goat.............
-
or stroking it
-
while waiting for......
-
Teresa May to
-
blow him off
-
swallowing his load...............
-
Tora! Tora! Tora!
-
but,after gagging
-
on May's putrid
-
Fanny he decided..............................
-
to switch to
-
Jeremy Corbyn's dog.......................
-
who immediately bit
-
Bit his bollocks
-
causing great discomfort
-
And bad bruising
-
so,Theresa caressed
-
his tender testicles
-
with her wire..................
-
like pointed nails
-
causing even more
-
bleeding pustules to
-
erupt from his
-
Battered ragged willy
-
which had seen
-
the inside of.................................
-
so many holes
-
including being forced
-
Up Corbyns Nose...................
-
until he couldnt
-
sing Hey Jude
-
don't take a
-
break,carry on
-
Up the Kyber.........................
-
or some other
-
silly bloody song..................
-
that's cringeworthy every
-
day it's heard
-
the witch doctor
-
cast some spells...
-
to lure them
-
into taking their.....................
-
knickers off and
-
and throwing them
-
at Boris,who
-
licks them with
-
his long tongue
-
which May loved
-
when he muffed.............................
-
her crinkled old
-
lettuce,and proceeded
-
to eat her...............................
-
mouldy old underwear
-
after dipping it...............................
-
in some bleach
-
from Gove's toilet.
-
After Diane Abbot.....................
-
put some Colombian
-
crap into it
-
then fished out
-
what was left
-
and rubbed it...........
-
all over Boris
-
to make him
-
the complete twat
-
whose brain is
-
Up his arse..............
-
along with Clary's
-
Head, and it
-
still has room.................
-
for an elephants
-
Todger to slide
-
to and fro
-
rapidly creating much
-
heat and noise
-
and giving out............
-
inaudible bat signals
-
to Robin,who
-
dismounted from catwoman
-
And mounted Batman
-
from below using
-
the Jokers crutch.................
-
to help ease
-
himself into place......................
-
where he inserted
-
His nose as
-
a large butt
-
fell from overhead........
-
covering him in
-
arse grease.Eventually
-
leading to him
-
coming all over
-
Batman, and his
-
faithfull servant Alfred
-
who had been
-
faithfully watching him
-
humping the ass
-
off Roger Rabbit
-
who in turn
-
was giving one
-
to the batcopter
-
which minced his
-
peculiarly minute pair
-
of withered balls
-
rather quicker than
-
by hand,because
-
Everything mechanical is
-
so much quicker
-
at cutting tender
-
Slices of beef
-
ready to cook
-
On the Barbie
-
before another session
-
of hard pumping
-
and general debauchery
-
Right up her............................
-
alley, because she
-
enjoyed oldgits movements............
-
even though they
-
were very lethargic................
-
considering he is
-
91 years old
-
and taking viagara
-
just to stay
-
as hard as
-
a pink marshmallow
-
covered in chocolate
-
and frozen hard
-
using liquid nitrogen
-
AAARGH! AAARGH! AAARGH!
-
That is cold................
-
and very painfull
-
but numbs just
-
above the nutsack
-
keeping the erection
-
softer than a
-
Witch's left tit...............
-
in a heatwave
-
after six kids
-
have been sucking
-
and chewing at
-
anything in reach
-
to clamp onto
-
the nipple with
-
Count Dracula's fangs
-
sucking them dry
-
While the new
-
pair of voluptuous
-
dogs bollocks that
-
that were transplanted
-
in place of
-
Boris Johnsons mouth
-
spouted complete bollocks
-
whilst caressing Theresa's
-
leopard shoes whilst
-
Fingering Anna Soubry
-
who in turn
-
was playing monopoly..............
-
Playing fucking monopoly !!!??? :lol
-
OK then Ludo..........
-
very badly as
-
Throwing a six...................
-
was almost impossible
-
when using a
-
red hot kettle
-
For a shaker
-
tends to invite
-
red hot numbers
-
36-24-36
-
which added up...............................
-
to one luscious
-
female cream pie..........
-
dream which is
-
what every horny.....................
-
80 year old
-
has always wanted........
-
to keep his
-
political dreams alive
-
and his end..............
-
off the floor
-
behind the door
-
through the crack
-
round the back
-
in the black
-
hole of Calcutta
-
which could accommodate
-
loads of rampant........
-
brain dead politicians
-
who are up
-
to no good
-
especially with Boris
-
And his Monster
-
prick and balls
-
All saggy and
-
pimply, awaiting a
-
pair of soft..............
-
manicured hands to
-
gently stroke brexit....................
-
thoughts away and
-
create dirty thoughts
-
with which to
-
carry out on
-
every other day..............
-
to make sure
-
we are similar
-
in sexual ways
-
but not looks
-
as looks could...........
-
confuse simpler people
-
into commiting acts
-
Of gross indecency
-
when they should
-
be watching porn
-
and jacking off
-
the front wheel
-
Until it becomes...........
-
all loose and
-
then becomes the............
-
which then becomes
-
the biggest dildo
-
you ever did.............................
-
ram up anyones
-
Bike exhaust pipe............
-
without them screaming
-
GET IT OUT!!!
-
It fucking hurts
-
my wee fazer
-
It's throbbing now!
-
and the power
-
is absolutely horrific...
-
It's worse than
-
a Honda 125
-
Running on dope..............
-
ridden by dope
-
held on with
-
superglue and bungee's.....
-
to the stump
-
which was inserted
-
beyond the main
-
artery for the.............
-
inspection and rejuvination
-
sphincter ring piece
-
of boris johnson
-
whilst bending over
-
to inspect Angela's
-
Pet cocker spaniel
-
called "hairy pussy"
-
smelling of bratwurst
-
and German Lager
-
for necessary lubrication
-
needed to insert
-
the tightest orifice
-
even tighter than
-
a ducks arse
-
with no lubrication
-
now that's tight!
-
an waterproof also,
-
Ouch it hurts..........
-
can't take anymore
-
Said John Bercow
-
To Jeremy Corbyn.............
-
well,tough,because
-
I have momentum
-
and thrusting action
-
so keep still......
-
Dianne and get
-
more K.Y. Jelly
-
slobbered on it
-
to ease the.............
-
possible friction burns
-
he will get
-
from rapid thrusting
-
Of his gigantic
-
cock,which stretched
-
Dianne's lips to
-
her tits and........
-
then she finally
-
gasped that it
-
was the best
-
doughnut she ever..........
-
put on her
-
Lilly white tits
-
which hung down
-
past her knees
-
looking at her.....................
-
dripping wet fanny
-
As Jeremy rogered
-
away without a
-
care about Brexit
-
whilst watching Watson
-
and holmes flirting
-
and cavorting with
-
a giant panda
-
with the stiffest.......
-
tadjer that you
-
have ever held............
-
in a furry
-
pocket of puss
-
straight from the
-
Zombies left pocket
-
which then detached
-
it's left cheek.
-
And flew away
-
only to be
-
run over by..................
-
a runaway hearse
-
that was carrying....................
-
David Bowie's left
-
handed walking stick........
-
on top of
-
Amy Winehouse's greatest
-
pile of coke
-
and two sacks..............
-
of used johnies
-
plus 3 kilos
-
of jelly babies.....
-
rectally inserted into
-
one stretched bottom
-
ring piece, and
-
covered in curry............................
-
. Very spicy curry
-
So fuckin hot..............
-
nobody ate it
-
just rammed it
-
up Boris's arse.................
-
cos Corbyn's arse
-
is too crusty.....
-
basically worn out
-
by Diane wearing
-
A paper bag................
-
because she couldn't
-
bear to see...........
-
what was entering
-
her old handbag
-
whilst Boris was
-
playing with his..............
-
semi lob,trying
-
to become ready
-
for trumps orange
-
stained y fronts
-
to land on...............
-
Boris and Corbyn
-
who were coupled
-
by lovebeads covered
-
in love juice
-
sprinkled by Diane................
-
with powdered dangleberries
-
and rotten raspberries
-
just to create
-
another feccin politician
-
Able to command.......
-
a spider up
-
an ants nest
-
just like O'Donnel
-
climbing the matterhorn
-
I'm lost now
-
said Sturgeon to
-
anybody who would..............
-
tempt a scottish
-
gay haggis out
-
For two pints
-
of the falling
-
Matterhorn melting ice
-
On the rocks
-
with whisky and
-
dry ginger ale
-
being rubbed on
-
the wifes tits..............
-
which caused her
-
tits to wobble
-
and nipples explode
-
with desire for
-
Boris's mighty shlong
-
that he waves
-
like he owns
-
the right to
-
stick it anywhere
-
there is somebody............
-
willing to take
-
a parlimentary rogering
-
up the lobby
-
Where Big Ben.................
-
and others have
-
countless time before
-
enjoyed Jolly Rogering
-
of ones' twat
-
hired out to
-
anyone with the
-
Inclination to perform
-
in front of
-
all the Foccers
-
who were wanking
-
on the planking
-
but watch those
-
deodorant cans that
-
that can slip.............
-
down the crack
-
and up the.............
-
tunnel and onto
-
more luscious things
-
which will give
-
everybody extreme pleasure
-
ogling from the
-
various vantage points
-
around the arena
-
which has been
-
the place to
-
get even better
-
views of the
-
Abbott and Corbyn
-
Autumn Shag Session
-
involving animal extras
-
and Harriet harman
-
keeping tabs on
-
Nigel's extra long
-
brexit walking stick
-
or political dildo
-
fully charged up
-
ready to insert...
-
Up the nearest .....
-
cosmic black hole !
-
to create excitement
-
for the peers
-
and leaping lords
-
treading the boards..
-
and generally cavorting
-
like rampant arseholes
-
at an orgy
-
watched over by
-
Darling Mrs May
-
complete with tape
-
To bind Abbot
-
who was into
-
gobbling the biggest
-
knob in parliament.............
-
in other words
-
sucking corbyns lollipop
-
non stop for
-
as long as
-
the audience could
-
stand the pace
-
while taking pictures
-
for the members'
-
who missed the
-
animal farm spectacular
-
held in the
-
Shadow cabinet which
-
doubles as a
-
S&M dungeon for
-
Corbyn and Mcdonnel
-
who often delve
-
into Diane's big
-
hairy wet fanny
-
after a good
-
lubing and stimulating
-
with their manifestos
-
at the ready
-
playing with the
-
local womens institute
-
hookers who were
-
flogging their fanny's..........
-
and other holes
-
for the charity..............
-
bash at Boris's
-
bed hopping beaudoire
-
where everyone enjoyed
-
swapping partners after
-
Jeremy Corbyn's speech..........
-
while pissing themselves
-
laughing at the
-
Antics of swinson...........
-
whos' pussy was
-
getting it's hair
-
Parted by Sturgeon
-
who's usually into
-
setting up referendums....
-
on the size
-
of her mouth
-
very large then
-
talking complete bollocks
-
whilst Dianne Abbot
-
has Corbyns bollocks................
-
firmly jammed in
-
her grubby handbag
-
ready to run
-
after the fairies
-
including Julian Clary
-
and Graham Norton
-
who had already
-
Taken down his...............
-
pants to except
-
a large meat
-
Injection right up........................
-
Priti,s large swollen
-
Left nostril that...............
-
was only matched
-
by Diane's instance
-
to hurry up
-
and thrust her
-
finger up corbyns...................
-
crinkled ring piece
-
thereby pulling his................
-
piles into view
-
, they were circumcised
-
and looked bloody.................
-
red and painful
-
sanitary towel needed........
-
only jewish ones
-
Oh vey gevalt!
-
Said the Rabbi :lol
-
as he stared
-
up the tunnel.........
-
awaiting a furious
-
torrent of abuse...
-
and fanny farts
-
from all the
-
rogering and countless
-
dry humps that
-
were had with....
-
no real lube
-
which resulted in
-
a very sore..........
-
hot ragged shredded
-
Fanny needing attention
-
From Borris the
-
Bodger, who excells
-
in getting it
-
year after year...
-
Brexiting the exit
-
then ejaculating all
-
Over Abbots Head............
-
who was lurking
-
just behind Bercow
-
Who was sucking.............
-
his wifes'tits
-
hoping for some
-
real home cooking
-
from MAry Berry
-
who had Hollywoods'
-
home stuffed Barmaid
-
lying naked on
-
his mixing table
-
about to be
-
shagged something rotten
-
except there was
-
Mary Berry completely
-
strip bollock naked
-
all wrinkly and
-
Soggy bottom displayed
-
for all to
-
see and feel
-
her squidgy tits
-
using the latest
-
pink rubber gloves.......
-
five fingured pleasure
-
mixing her juices.......
-
while Paul was
-
having a wank
-
over his ex
-
who was meanwhile
-
Baking a cake
-
to shove up
-
Hollywoods left nostril
-
as soon as
-
he'd finished wanking
-
over her dinner
-
plate before serving
-
up some disgusting
-
main course, consisting
-
Soggy bottoms and..............
-
limp dicks with
-
Sautéed flaps marinated
-
Boiling hot jism...........
-
from the son
-
of a bitch
-
director of the
-
Academy of whores
-
At the houses..................
-
of Parliaments' special
-
LGBGT new year
-
all genders welcome
-
massive MP's shindig
-
Spending our Tax's
-
on wine, women
-
And pornographic songs
-
just to get
-
their end away
-
every monday morning
-
without fail. Somewhere
-
Over The Rainbow
-
in darkest Yorkshire
-
where people go..........
-
to find the
-
best country pub..
-
with wenches abound
-
and free drink
-
Is ritually imbibed
-
but if your
-
pleasures are erotic
-
your very unlucky
-
as the women
-
were all dykes
-
carrying rubber dicks
-
and big sticks
-
to beat perverts.............
-
private's to mush
-
Thereby making them
-
impotent eunuchs with
-
only one purpose
-
to find something.....
-
to finger or
-
Lick to death............
-
Wherever I may
-
be found wanting
-
in the nuptials
-
or divorce courts
-
ready to begin...
-
a whole new
-
chapter in one's..................
-
erotic adventures of
-
of the bellend
-
Written by Knobby.
-
a classy author
-
who has many
-
pubic hairs in..........
-
his genital area
-
And loves licking.....
-
his own arse
-
Till he comes.......
-
all over the
-
the kitchen sink
-
and the cat
-
who scarpered, squealing
-
like a banshee
-
Before shitting itself.....
-
all over Knobby
-
who was playing
-
with his new
-
pile reducing dildo
-
With knobs on
-
to stimulate the
-
arrogant MP who
-
thought that she
-
was the dogs
-
but in reality
-
was a slapper
-
and took it................
-
up the arse
-
frequently to satisfy
-
The new member
-
who only enrolled
-
To be shagged.........
-
as often as
-
Every half hour
-
up both holes
-
simultaneously, whilst dogging
-
In the reliant.....
-
robin with Rodney
-
keeping a lookout
-
for trigger and...........
-
with the silver
-
road sweeping broom
-
that Boycie sold
-
for twenty pence
-
as she was
-
an economical shag.......
-
even cheaper than
-
Diane Abbot who
-
waved her knickers........
-
around her head
-
while chewing corbyn's
-
right bollock , because
-
it tasted sweaty
-
and salty,because
-
no soap or
-
Water reached his
-
grotty nether regions
-
unlike Tracy Brabin
-
who's were rancid
-
needing the air
-
from a mountain
-
In Welsh Wales
-
A Taffies delight
-
with sheep by
-
the dozen ready.....
-
to get rogered
-
tied to lamposts
-
with wellies stacked
-
and zips open
-
cocks' at the
-
ready, get shagging :rollin
-
after being dosed
-
With Viagra tablets............
-
and stiff necks
-
that needed massaging
-
as well as
-
semi lobbed cocks
-
japs eye's winking
-
in anticipation of
-
of entering the
-
juicy hairy minge
-
region of Schofield's
-
wifes' haunted fanny
-
as it had
-
rarely been rogered
-
because he preferred
-
young mens' bums
-
to the delights
-
of queers everywhere
-
he made coming
-
a delightful climax
-
on the good
-
Girls massive mammaries
-
hanging like satchels
-
bulging with papers
-
Mayfair,Men Only.......
-
Fiesta to name
-
the best wankers
-
mags that were
-
boys wanking fodder.
-
in the Seventies
-
Brian Mills catalogue ;)
-
Load of Ballcocks
-
well, cocks,anyway
-
Wot No Balls???...
-
must be a
-
good reason Coronavirus
-
or the clap
-
does not stick
-
without treatment and
-
gallons of mucus
-
Dribbling from her..............
-
already much used
-
left nostril, which
-
looked rather snotty
-
when observed from
-
near and far
-
complete with bogeys
-
And green gilberts
-
adorning the periphery
-
of her 'orrible
-
sweaty left armpit
-
that's never been
-
licked to orgasm
-
or even tickled
-
to arouse her.............
-
flaccid clitoral banana
-
or in laymans'
-
terms her grossly
-
Overrated sweaty fanny..........
-
by any normal
-
Shag happy bloke
-
would happily penetrate
-
this monstrous gash
-
until it was
-
levered wide open
-
so that any
-
big prick could...........
-
goto the pub
-
or get stoned
-
just looking at
-
The immense size
-
of her dildo
-
that is ginormous
-
and battery powered
-
with rancid oozing
-
over his jockstrap
-
which had been
-
Hanging on her
-
pubes,until they
-
were stolen by
-
the British museum
-
To be displayed
-
alongside other decrepid
-
sex toys which
-
needed cleaning, before
-
reuse in the
-
Foccers Foursome Routine
-
during Spring Meet
-
Pissing with rain
-
again, even though
-
the forecast is......
-
wet and moist
-
and very slippery
-
so that penetration
-
Is definitely assured
-
even when the
-
rags are up.............
-
but that would
-
cause lots of .......
-
Foccers to give
-
every tart one.............
-
up the rear
-
On their birthdays
-
with other treats
-
to follow in
-
porn stars footsteps
-
like Chesty Morgan
-
mammary,s suffocating her
-
Dear old dad
-
who'd wanked himself
-
into a frenzy
-
and didn't come
-
his load,because
-
he had lost
-
The will to.................
-
keep chugging away
-
On the bus
-
because his pass
-
was not acceptable
-
so he bought
-
a passion wagon
-
and dozens of
-
second hand condoms
-
not quite past
-
Their screw by-date
-
but exceedingly large
-
for a dwarf
-
to shelter from
-
whilst trying to
-
Shag a penguin
-
whilst skiing down
-
a very small
-
back street alley
-
in Newcastle's central
-
district heading towards
-
wa fine brothel
-
in the Big
-
knocking shop arcade
-
Chocolate fudge sauce
-
otherwise known as
-
the hershey highway
-
or diarrhoea falls
-
mmmm, liquid goodies
-
loads of dangleberrys
-
for some texture
-
and wonderful flavour
-
of rancid plums
-
and other delicacies
-
like fanny batter
-
mixed with diesel
-
soaked fanny pads
-
grilled on toast
-
and eaten by
-
the chinese ambassador
-
with raw bat
-
and giant rats
-
cooked by the..........
-
twat called Ramsey
-
in his ferrari
-
using tortoise intestines
-
and prime afterbirth
-
in ratatouille sauce
-
Served for dinner
-
and for afters
-
diced foreskin with
-
creamy love juice
-
topped off with
-
dry roasted pubes
-
and minced dangleberries
-
served on a
-
old ladies tits
-
very flat ones
-
with long stretched
-
rather wrinkled nipples
-
long since milked
-
dry by countless
-
dirty old bastards
-
who frequented this
-
Jacky danny emporium.
-
because their partners
-
loved to fuck
-
Sheep, donkey's and
-
Any dead Dog
-
talking about dogging
-
the weather has
-
taken a turn..
-
for the worst
-
Use an umbrella
-
have it wet
-
while you bang
-
on somebodys door
-
to let you
-
enter the sanctum
-
of erotic pleasures
-
along with your
-
copy of playboy
-
for memorable wanks
-
using large pliers
-
allrighty,then!!! aaagh!! :lol
-
he screamed as
-
his prick fell..........
-
a shrivelled limp
-
chipolata looking thing
-
severed near the
-
sweaty swollen bollox
-
bag,split open
-
nuts falling out
-
along with the
-
hilti socket set
-
that was attached
-
to his catheter
-
That dribbled every.............
-
few minutes into
-
His beer glass
-
this then tasted
-
like an emulsion
-
of fanny batter
-
and old spunk
-
with a dash
-
Of engine oil
-
for the lubricunt ;)
-
to ease the
-
the gigantic phallus
-
into a tight
-
crevise,or bottom
-
of the rent
-
boys left nostril
-
lingering too close
-
For everyones comfort
-
to boy George's
-
Culture club arse
-
which stunk of
-
25 year old
-
unwashed folds of
-
ancient gorgonzola cheese
-
like karma chameleon
-
that well known
-
Song about poofters
-
Boy Georgies' benders
-
from darkest Ireland
-
over the water
-
swimming in Guinness
-
The real stuff...........
-
the nectar of
-
The peat bogs
-
and great unwashed
-
Paddies and Leprechauns
-
to be sure
-
of the craic
-
Of their arses...........
-
can be held
-
in both hands
-
while bending over
-
gobbling a huge
-
Toad for breakfast
-
with their toes
-
because their hands
-
were so far
-
up someone else's...............
-
pet sheep's ring
-
they had disappeared
-
into a murky
-
world of Yorkshire
-
Puddings and roast...........
-
bulls balls marinated
-
In fanny batter
-
with a side
-
helping of nipples
-
and delectable pubes
-
And not forgetting
-
Bar mitzva knobclippings
-
sprinkled over everything
-
Ivey I say
-
Course you would
-
said the circumciser
-
To the patient
-
fold back,please
-
while I sharpen
-
my favourite scalpel
-
for use on
-
Carving the sausage
-
into a proper
-
shape ready for............
-
entering a large
-
and moist crack
-
all lubed up
-
ready to go
-
like a piston
-
sliding ever so...........
-
gently up and
-
down, wobbling around
-
creating an enormous
-
vacuum of pleasure
-
in the lower
-
depths of depravity
-
debauchery, lust and
-
excitement at the
-
local shaggers party
-
in Corbyns back
-
back garden gazebo
-
that home of
-
the semetic labourites
-
all circumcised just
-
in time for........
-
their annual take
-
on unneeded flesh
-
from young boys
-
with tight rings
-
And little things
-
to big boys
-
with big things
-
to slide inside
-
the tight ring
-
stay a lert...
Ive always been a bit of a lert so whats new..
-
Whats a 'Lert' ?
-
Its a piss take on the asinine advice from the government we got a while while back "stay alert, control the virus, save lives". Basically how the actual fuck will staying alert stop you from contracting a virus that can live on multiple surfaces for long periods of time.
"Whoah, I see you there covid-19, Im a-lert, so don't come near me suka"
-
for buzzing things
-
and massive dildos'
-
being poffered to
-
All and sundry
-
ending up with
-
one great big
-
orgy of depravity
-
sinking to the
-
Epstein standard of
-
debauchery and depravity
-
including under age
-
Girls and Prince
-
types who love
-
romping for hours
-
denying they sweat
-
and stinking of
-
royal family odours
-
emanating from Andrew's
-
Steaming back pocket
-
where maxwell had
-
deposited some of
-
If his used
-
vibrators and assorted
-
mens sweaty jockstraps
-
which he recycled
-
into Covid masks
-
for his conquests
-
to inhale through
-
And breath fresh
-
young tight twats
-
each time they
-
thought of England
-
whilst jacking off
-
to pictures of
-
Prince Andrew muffing
-
The Maxwell Bitch
-
'till she was
-
Cumming for Christmas
-
Santa was pleasured
-
by rudolph and
-
especially lady elves
-
At a goblin
-
of sore dicks
-
Party last friday
-
in Ghislaine's dungeon
-
whilst andrew joined
-
in the fun
-
sweating like a
-
Right royal prick
-
at the thought
-
of being caught
-
by her Majesty
-
humping several commoners
-
And two Beefeaters
-
muff diving Anne
-
while Megan stroked
-
Her pet Pussy
-
slid into the
-
overcrowded hot tub
-
full of slime
-
from mashed frogs
-
and used johnnies
-
which made the
-
thing so realistic
-
even the Queen
-
had Megan dunked
-
and held under
-
until she confessed
-
to shagging harry
-
in the golden
-
Temple of delights
-
whilst uncle Andy
-
shagged two donkeys
-
fantasising about Fergie
-
in Ghislaine's dungeon
-
looking for epstein
-
To hang him
-
by the balls
-
And cut his.
-
ties with royalty
-
such splendid sweetbreads
-
said Andy, looking
-
Up Camilla's skirt
-
with a periscope
-
'cause it's foccin'
-
what I did
-
Did you really
-
think that pussy
-
needs to be...
-
rammed so hard
-
that it farts
-
:rollin :rollin :rollin
-
loudly, and alerts
-
Prince Charles Butler
-
"wipe the KY"
-
as fast as
-
My man Says.............
-
before it dries
-
And looks revolting
-
dribbling out of
-
Charlies breast pocket
-
with his used
-
clit nipper by
-
his left bollock
-
ready for use
-
at the right.......
-
moment in time
-
when the pulsating
-
head of Charles
-
arises from between
-
Meghans dusky thighs
-
dripping with smelly
-
soul food, and
-
sloppy cream pies
-
that had been
-
injected by Yeomen
-
and Beefeaters to
-
try to enhance
-
the overall pleasures
-
of royal Muff-divers
-
with long tongues
-
which are studded
-
for extra stimulation
-
of Megan's large
-
Afro American Hamburger
-
like, well hammered
-
in fact,abused
-
by Hollywood stars
-
And licked by
-
Joe Biden and
-
His Running Mate
-
Donald Trump,extraordinaire
-
fake tanned shagger
-
Who talks bollox
-
without a pair
-
Between his ears
-
or even down
-
his trouser leg
-
where rests his
-
artificial phallus, made
-
Made of putty
-
Great Aunt Ada
-
made for him
-
In her lunch-break
-
at the boudour
-
On the corner
-
of 1st and
-
Second hand street
-
with the hookers
-
and pimps, gathered
-
rose petals for
-
their finest ladies
-
to mask the
-
the smell of
-
of putrid pussies
-
And rancid arseholes
-
a collective stink
-
which hangs in
-
the bike sheds
-
and in the
-
halls of power
-
in Scotland, Wales
-
not forgetting ireland
-
as these orgies
-
Are well attended
-
and sort after
-
By all and.........
-
sundry in Parliament
-
and the Lords
-
with their squires
-
bowing before them
-
taking the knee
-
In the goolies
-
just for good
-
fun and frolics
-
before the humping
-
great orgy begins
-
breaking the Covid
-
two meter rule
-
with their knobs
-
In their hands
-
charging like a
-
randy rampant soldier
-
Whats the F***
Bunch of Arse.
-
starved of sex
-
ready to fuck
-
anything in his
-
nice comfy bed
-
at Buck house
-
with gay abandon
-
and some horses
-
lifting their tales
-
and crapping over
-
many of the
-
Royal hangers' on
-
who were trying
-
pushing thier luck...
-
to be first
-
to fist Andrew
-
and his trollop
-
sucking his lollipop
-
whilst Fergie was
-
wanking the servants
-
off two at
-
a time swallowing
-
copious amounts of
-
Buck House jism
-
'til she gagged
-
all over Andy's
-
already quivering thighs
-
which had been
-
shaved for maximum
-
slipperiness, so that
-
Fergie could slide
-
rapidly up and
-
down his knob
-
'till he sploshed
-
on Ghislaine's young
-
slaves ginger hair
-
sticky wet pubes
-
And dripping from
-
her swollen flaps
-
All over her
-
Yorkshire pork pie.
-
That was about.......
-
to be consumed
-
by that fat
-
Bastid Boris Bonker
-
who had just
-
Slipped off her..............
-
jelled up nipples
-
hoping to dive
-
On her muff
-
but missed and
-
disappeared up her..............
-
cavernous rear end
-
covered in shit
-
from her last
-
shag with three
-
MPs who teamed
-
up with Boris
-
The Governmental Bonker
-
who was bonkers
-
about bonking anywhere
-
except in Wales
-
where sheep shaggers..............
-
think they rule
-
anything that moves
-
they are equipped
-
With green wellies
-
and rather small
-
limp todgers that
-
become erect when
-
they are gently
-
bashed against drystone
-
Walls on sunday's
-
sheep shagging event
-
, some of them
-
Sliding in nicely
-
up to the
-
the nagers in
-
into the hot
-
and sticky crevice
-
of the camel's
-
right side armpit
-
or other convenient
-
wet slimy hole
-
pertaining to camels.
-
that get the
-
hump about humping
-
like queers,who
-
really dislike other
-
and are trying
-
to decide which
-
hole suits them
-
Biden or Trump
-
The Two Arsehole's
-
fighting to the
-
most disrespected twats
-
in the world
-
bar none, because
-
they are geriatric
-
twats who know
-
Absolutely Fuck All
-
about camels humping
-
At the oasis
-
with Joe and
-
anybody who cares
-
or even looks
-
at anything in
-
Kismet, the rise
-
Of Reginald Perrin
-
followed his fall
-
from grace,because
-
my aunt Freda
-
would not get
-
off the bus
-
until it stopped
-
outside the porn
-
shop where massive
-
discounts were being
-
made on adult
-
Books and Films
-
dildo's,vibrators,whips
-
made from liquorice
-
And old rope
-
knotted, for extra
-
zing when whipped
-
Across one's cobblers
-
AAAGH! AAAGH! AAAGH!
-
mind my conkers
-
bellowed the cook
-
as they strapped
-
his ass hard
-
that he shat
-
himself and still
-
managed to cook
-
bangers and beans
-
for the Madame
-
To stuff up
-
her husbands gaping
-
motorcycle exhaust pipe
-
which she was
-
modifying as a
-
chrome plated dildo
-
to pleasure herself
-
every other day
-
whilst riding on
-
Boris Johnsons ''Johnson''
-
trying to convince
-
The country it's
-
still ok to
-
pump the hell
-
out of his
-
grotesquely swollen member
-
and shoot his
-
Baby batter everywhere
-
and she still
-
managed to catch
-
a dose of
-
the clap despite
-
Taking an aspirin
-
once a day
-
along with several
-
Shot's of Tequila
-
intravenously with vodka
-
shaken and not
-
stirred but rogered
-
up the exhaust
-
and the catalytic
-
highway to heaven
-
orgasm after orgasm
-
dripping with fluids
-
which were used
-
As extra lubrication
-
for her arse
-
as it had
-
Become rather crusty
-
and ragged from
-
to much penetration
-
by huge dildo's
-
And sweaty knobs
-
covered in shit
-
because they were
-
back door wankers
-
who exposed themselves
-
on the web
-
Sorry, wrong thread :o
-
as horny dudes
-
and crazy nudes
-
with shaven pubes
-
resulting in ichy
-
and sweaty bollox
-
which turned into
-
an uncomfortable mess
-
of spunk and
-
crusty skin paste
-
Spread on toast
-
OH! my GOD!!!
-
That tastes awful
-
Just wait till
-
I tell mum
-
what you've been
-
Eating out daily
-
instead of making
-
love juice sarnies
-
And fanny burgers
-
with meat balls
-
and long sausages
-
Up your nose
-
Pretending that it
-
is big boogies
-
that are not
-
going to be
-
eaten by Jeremy
-
...happy New year :b
-
but by Boris
-
just loves this
-
Type of snack
-
when mumbling on
-
about shagging Starmer
-
in the lobby
-
Of house of
-
ill repute,with
-
Keir bringing up
-
last nights supper
-
lumps and all
-
before muffing Diane
-
As Corbyn looked
-
on with distain
-
and played with
-
his one ball
-
while Abbott played
-
with his limp
-
wrist as he
-
Licked Mrs May's
-
left elongated flap
-
Which was very
-
swollen and red
-
from being battered
-
By Corbyns gigantic
-
Dildo,with which
-
Diane loved as
-
Much as Corbyns
-
no longer alove
-
guru but a
-
Bearded old tossbag
-
who stubbornly refused
-
to wear a
-
Bright red Mankini
-
as leader of
-
the knitting circle
-
which meets on
-
Every second tuesday
-
after the orgy
-
We drink beer
-
And tell story's
-
about how we
-
Fixed Boris's bike
-
using just a
-
bit of bullshit
-
along with some
-
Clever scientific ideas
-
like electronic dildos'
-
powered by Chinese
-
Virus spreading scientists
-
who deny even
-
Being tested for
-
excessive flatulence disorder
-
which leads to
-
brown foggy days
-
and stinky nights
-
Oxygen mask needed?
-
delectable dangleberry dinner
-
And fannybatter gravy
-
followed by Knob
-
of brown stuff
-
which had been
-
used for staining
-
Boris's coffee table
-
a lovely shade
-
Of anal beige
-
with flecks of
-
ginger biscuit crumbs
-
and diced carrot
-
Mixed together with
-
even more dangleberries
-
that had fallen
-
from Boris Johnsons
-
best friends privates
-
When he shook
-
off his crusty
-
old pair of
-
skiddies that had
-
Seen better days
-
the ex MOD
-
Camouflage wearing twat
-
had borrowed them
-
to see if
-
they covered his
-
very large rifle
-
plus cannon balls
-
in fanny batter
-
that jangled back
-
and forth often
-
when pumping vigorously
-
in your dreams
-
with that big
-
monstrous appendage dripping
-
sperm all over
-
Diane Abbots head
-
but she enjoyed
-
being a porn
-
Kings dirty bitch
-
for it made
-
Ready supply of
-
of free humps
-
For her mates
-
in the party
-
who were getting
-
their kit off
-
for the election
-
revealing their manifesto's
-
and other unmentionables
-
to all members
-
who had paid
-
good money, just
-
so that they
-
could jack off
-
in front of
-
Jack and Jill
-
better known as
-
two complete gits
-
who liked to
-
Toss each other
-
a red ball
-
and play catch
-
the tits after
-
The Bra's removal
-
revealing saggy satchels
-
and very droopy
-
folds of skin
-
like old foreskin
-
past it's best
-
until suddenly, Diane
-
ejaculated all over
-
Sir Kier Starmer's
-
brand new manifesto
-
While Corbyn looked
-
pleasantly surprised that
-
so much juice
-
could come from
-
One mouldy orange
-
looking just like
-
a dripping ball
-
of golden lubricant
-
Spreading over her
-
huge nipples that
-
had become firm
-
with much sucking
-
from emily thornberrys
-
luscious red lips
-
gobbling away for
-
Ever and Ever
-
rather than spouting
-
Utter Labour Bollox
-
to try and
-
get abbott naked
-
once more before
-
Jeremy Corbyns Birthday
-
bash, with guests
-
Screwing their supporters
-
as hard as
-
A Viagra Fuelled
-
todger with attitude
-
play with myself ;)