Date: 01-05-24  Time: 02:55 am

Author Topic: I was trying to explain to my missus tonight how hard it is to fart while riding  (Read 8722 times)

JZS 600

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,267
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - VFR 1200 FD
    • View Profile
Anyone else have this problem, and do you have a trusted technique?   :lol

Chris

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,982
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • View Profile
Lean forward a bit  ;)

Chris

It wouldn't be fun if it was easy, I just wish it wasn't this much fun.

mr self destruct

  • WSB Pack Hound
  • *****
  • Posts: 789
  • Riding without a crash since 24-04-15
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • View Profile
Still being fairly new to biking I find it harder to not shit myself.  :eek
Broken, bruised, forgotten, sore,
too fucked up to care any more.

jason1

  • Weekend Warrior
  • ***
  • Posts: 214
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 98-99
    • View Profile
Release butt cheeks a little ,not too much just incase. Measure the pressure build up and then lean forward and up slightly.Push gently untill you know its safe to let go.  :eek

JZS 600

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,267
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - VFR 1200 FD
    • View Profile
Well, you see, I normally rise off the saddle a bit all weight on the pegs and cautiously let a little trump out, but at 90 in the pissing rain, in traffic, it's a bit traumatic!


The missus was wondering why I normally rush in, drop the leathers and fart like Vesuvius






 

ChristoT

  • Alleged Foc-u Daphnis & Chloe expert
  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 5,207
  • Fluent in English, French and bullshit!
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 98-99
    • - Saab 9-3, caravan, hang glider
    • View Profile
Funnily enough, I've never had a problem!!
The Deef's apprentice

ajmes1

  • Club Racer
  • ****
  • Posts: 278
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • View Profile
Ask her how she does it.


It was that cold today it felt like id pissed myself. But for farting just don't squeeze it out or there's a a risk of following through.

rayburn600

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,349
    • Main bike:
      Other
    • - Triumph Tiger Sport- V-Strom
    • View Profile
Head down Bum up.
Just like sports bike riders.  That's why some go faster.

darrsi

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 10,651
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 00-01
    • View Profile
Still being fairly new to biking I find it harder to not shit myself.  :eek

Ha ha ha  :lol
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

slimwilly

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,698
  • I love to ride them hills
    • Main bike:
      FZ1 Faired Gen2
    • View Profile
I do and i am sure i could smell it coming up my neck tube into my helmet  :o
An ageing test pilot for home grown widgets that may fail at anytime.

Gav

  • Weekend Warrior
  • ***
  • Posts: 162
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 00-01
    • View Profile
Ewww dirty feeker.  I normally don't need to fart while riding or have the urge to want a sh1t until I've got to my destination and taken off my leathers lol
This week I've been mostly tinkering in the garage

Frosties

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,489
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 00-01
    • - Tiger 900, CBF 1000,Bandit 650
    • View Profile
I'm sure the old farts on the forum will have a variety of methods developed over the years  :D
Those are my principles...if you don't like them I have others.

Chris

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,982
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • View Profile
You know you've gone too far when you need to shake out your boots afterwards...

Chris

It wouldn't be fun if it was easy, I just wish it wasn't this much fun.

bri h

  • WSB Pack Hound
  • *****
  • Posts: 806
    • Main bike:
      FZ1 Faired Gen2
    • View Profile
We all know that riding a bike carries cirtain risks. Following through is right up there with a smidsy.
a bird in the hand poops on the wrist

midden

  • Operation Foc-UTree
  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,546
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - Falcon Stealth
    • View Profile
Funnily enough while riding home the other day I let one go.
It was just like being in the bath, I felt it forcing up between thigh and sack on route to my nose:) 
Women have chocolate men have bikes.....
including ones who like chocolate....;)

Deefer666

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 7,720
  • Loves to hit stuff with hammers!
    • Main bike:
      Other
    • - FJ1200
    • View Profile
    • Motorcycle Republic
I must be some kind of freak then because I have no problem or special technique for farting whilst riding a bike  :D
Owner of Motorcycle Republic, Specialist in unfucking things that others have fucked up.

Drax

  • DAS Born Again
  • **
  • Posts: 79
    • Main bike:
      FZ1 Faired Gen2
    • View Profile
Dangle the left leg off the peg & away she blows!  :)
Paradox - A bit like paracetamol but different.

Bitfik

  • Weekend Warrior
  • ***
  • Posts: 131
    • Main bike:
      FZ6 S2 07-09
    • View Profile
Take care when you remove your waterproofs later as the odour seems to brew for quite a long time! I had forgotten an on bike, in waterproof chuff one time and on removing said clothing wretched... And wretched... And...

simonm

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,457
  • Why so serious ?
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 00-01
    • View Profile
twist of the hip and let it rip  :lol
Opinions are like A**holes, Everyone has one.  Some people seem to have more than one though which is a bit odd.

JZS 600

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,267
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - VFR 1200 FD
    • View Profile
sometimes when I'm standing on the pegs farting at speed I wonder what would happen if one broke and how I would describe it on the insurance claim...

midden

  • Operation Foc-UTree
  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,546
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - Falcon Stealth
    • View Profile
I must be some kind of freak then because I have no problem or special technique for farting whilst riding a bike  :D

Not a freak. You've just obviously grown up
  :rolleyes
Women have chocolate men have bikes.....
including ones who like chocolate....;)

lew600fazer

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,253
  • There is only one form of racing, road racing.
    • Main bike:
      Other
    • - 2017 MT-09 Tracer ABS
    • View Profile
Trust me at 65 you do not just let it rip, always has to be a slidder.  :rollin .Real nerve wrecking if you have just had a Vindalu. Thank god for Fabreez when you do get the leathers of after a run.
MT-09 Tracer for those who no longer can handle a BIG boy Fazer

Davebo

  • Weekend Warrior
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
    • Main bike:
      FZS 1000 Gen1
    • - None
    • View Profile
I think we've found a level here. Very popular thread.  :lol

JZS 600

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,267
    • Main bike:
      FZS600 02-03
    • - VFR 1200 FD
    • View Profile
Toilet humour, works every time  :lol

lew600fazer

  • GP Hero
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,253
  • There is only one form of racing, road racing.
    • Main bike:
      Other
    • - 2017 MT-09 Tracer ABS
    • View Profile
Does anyone have a bladder problem as mentioned being in my 65th year nearly, I am a percy piss quick, especially after a coffee. It is one of the wonderful things about touring in France. When a French man wants a pee, no matter were he is on the road. He will pull over and in full view, out with the tackle and pee away. No shame no embarassment.
I hate it when you are bursting, struggle to get the gloves off , tackle out oh the relief!!!!! then the agony when you qucikly pull the zip because you hear a car or someone coming. Oh those heavy duty zips, you do not know to continue pulling up the zip and risk amputation or say fuck it and unzip again. The looks you get when you are checking your pride and joy to see if there is any damage done.  :'(  :eek 
MT-09 Tracer for those who no longer can handle a BIG boy Fazer