Author Topic: Sheep Thread (Read 3041 times)

Exupnut · « **on:** 24 April 2014, 06:31:45 pm »

About time we had one

Lazarus · « **Reply #1 on:** 25 April 2014, 10:44:40 pm »

feck me - posted this on FB and got 6 likes in 10 seconds

noggythenog · « **Reply #2 on:** 26 April 2014, 01:46:37 pm »

English Cow, Scottish horse and a Welsh sheep are in bed all tucked up tight.....looking at foc-u on their ipads.

The cow shouts foccin mooooooooooooooove over........& pushes the horse.

The horse says Neighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bother.......& pushes the sheep.

The sheep falls out the bed & bashes its bonce off the floor.

Ya foccin Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastards!!!!!!!!it bleets!!!!

Moral of the story is:-

midden · « **Reply #3 on:** 26 April 2014, 02:40:05 pm »

Oi Noggy ya Scottwelsh sheepshagging (apparent) racist Baaaaastard
You got summut against Goats, ain't they good enough for ya story? I don't wish to bleet on but you're well out of order mate.
Goats have feeling too you know

Exupnut · « **Reply #4 on:** 05 May 2014, 08:55:39 pm »

Good

Exupnut · « **Reply #5 on:** 05 May 2014, 08:56:19 pm »

Baaaaaaaaaaad....

ChristoT · « **Reply #6 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:06:53 pm »

Quote from: Exupnut on 05 May 2014, 08:56:19 pm

Baaaaaaaaaaad....

Ain't that Noggy's Gen2?

Hedgetrimmer · « **Reply #7 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:17:54 pm »

Quote from: ChristoT on 05 May 2014, 10:06:53 pm

Quote from: Exupnut on 05 May 2014, 08:56:19 pm
Baaaaaaaaaaad....

Ain't that Noggy's Gen2?

You going woolly in the head? Anyone can see it's a Lamb-bretta

Coat (lambs wool), gone......

Exupnut · « **Reply #8 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:36:39 pm »

I thought noggy paid cash fer iz boike. Seems like he woz tellin porkies.....

noggythenog · « **Reply #9 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:38:32 pm »

Foc off

Im more of a Mountain Goat these days.

ChristoT · « **Reply #10 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:52:34 pm »

Note the extra padded cushion for the goat...

ChristoT · « **Reply #11 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:54:26 pm »

Has Noggy been drinking again? He's awfully quiet tonight!

The reason?

noggythenog · « **Reply #12 on:** 05 May 2014, 10:58:38 pm »

This field in Germany has SLOWLY been taken over by an infestation of Slowness.

noggythenog · « **Reply #13 on:** 05 May 2014, 11:01:31 pm »

& it is no coincidence that exup started this thread.

Free advertising for his new autobiography.

ChristoT · « **Reply #14 on:** 05 May 2014, 11:09:15 pm »

The guy on the right, who'd had "another idea" looks remarkably like ewe, Nog!

noggythenog · « **Reply #15 on:** 05 May 2014, 11:16:05 pm »

ChristoT · « **Reply #16 on:** 05 May 2014, 11:18:32 pm »

Nah, my funbus is the back of the Peugeot with a dirt mac on the rear seat!

Tractors, sheep, Noggy... Is the local brothel having a clean out then?

noggythenog · « **Reply #17 on:** 05 May 2014, 11:21:21 pm »

Quote from: ChristoT on 05 May 2014, 11:18:32 pm

Nah, my funbus is the back of the Peugeot with a dirt mac on the rear seat!

Tractors, sheep, Noggy... Is the local brothel having a clean out then?

Leftover stock from Woolworths

snapper · « **Reply #18 on:** 06 May 2014, 07:49:25 am »

Details

Youre Sick Bastard

noggythenog · « **Reply #19 on:** 10 July 2014, 11:18:43 pm »

My dog went to his career guidance people today and has decided that he'd like to be a wolf in sheeps clothing when he is older.

He left the Argos cataloguei open with this picture circled......i think it's a hint for christmas.

DILLIGAFF · « **Reply #20 on:** 11 July 2014, 11:32:43 am »

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd.
"You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog!"

Exupnut · « **Reply #21 on:** 11 July 2014, 02:26:34 pm »

A man comes home with a sheep under his arm and says" Honey I'd like u to meet the pig i sleep with when u have a headache" the wife says "cant u tell the difference between a sheep and a pig?" The husband says " I wasn't fukin talkin to you"

AllyBally · « **Reply #22 on:** 12 July 2014, 04:50:06 pm »

Must be Welsh

Details

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