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Topics - snapper
51
« on: 14 May 2012, 12:18:55 pm »
ok this is getting boring now !
another battery going in the bin
I wonder if its possible sencible or just plain stupid but can I fit a second standard battey under the seat ?
theres plenty of room ?
has this been thought of before done before ?
I dont have an power at my gargae so I cant use a optimate
I did have a car battery , but I can never remmber to plug it in , I do start the bike and warm it up but not enough by the signs of it !
ok so if this is a workable idea what is the wiring needed ?
can I simply run on wires from both negative and positive terminals? do I need anything on the wires? fuses ?
also will the alternator be able to charge both ?
or is this simply a pipe dream that doesnt hold water and will end up with me owning a pile of molten scrap aluminum steel and burnt plastic ?
52
« on: 08 May 2012, 02:47:36 pm »
53
« on: 02 May 2012, 12:53:36 pm »
I've been putting a bit of weight on lately so I started playing squash again always loved the game, I found some one to play a bit of a novice but he was very fit so we both got a good run around out of it !
On Monday we played at lunch time as always and after half an hour I knew it was going to be a hard fought game as I had a racket smashed across my back and a ball smack into the back of my leg ! (the joys of sport ) but five minutes before our time ran out I caught a squash ball at full pelt in the eye !
To try and discribe the pain is impossible ! but after a few minutes it eased and we gave up and went back to work
As the day went on it started to feell sore and I was expecting a black eye out of it , next morning however the pain was gone ! for all of two minutes untill I opened my left eye,
I got to spend the day in A and E to start Xrays for a fracterd eye socket followed by eye drops and being proded poked but they could not get my prupil to dilate ,and what they did to my left eye they did to my right to compare results !
So by 6pm last night I was near enough blind in both eyes !
With that I am off work for 5 days and have more eye drops than you can shake a stick at !
The final out come is I have a graze on my cornea, and Iris locked in spasm along with heavey brusing to my eye ball and socket !
The docs think I was lucky as hopefully no perminate damage !
and the point of this thread !
who says trying to be healthy and excercising is good for you ! I tried it and ended up in hospital !
54
« on: 30 April 2012, 07:00:27 pm »
55
« on: 18 April 2012, 10:04:24 pm »
My friends sons bike it was stolen last night from the Fletton area ( Peterborough I think)
This bike is a sliver/grey and Black Honda City Fly 125cc with a black top box
The reg is LJ51 JHL
I'll try and get a pic
57
« on: 26 March 2012, 09:45:52 am »
some old and some new !
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An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back forty, had it fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond, I only came to feed my alligators." Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ One day, a girl walked up to her mother and looked at her mother'shair and sadly said: "Why is some of your hair white mommy?"The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turn white.The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said... "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?" | ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
My local church has a sign outside that says "Jesus Always Forgives".So last night I went down there and nicked all the lead off the roof.Thanks Jesus.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said: - And where do you think *you're* going to find a lawyer?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________
A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!""It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?" ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________
In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "THINK!"The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "THOAP!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy".While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card. "Oh, it's alright." said the storekeeper. "I'm a businessman and I understand how these things can happen.""But," added the florist, "I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party." "Well, what did it say?" ask the storekeeper. "'Congratulations on your new location'." was the reply.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ [size=0]One day a guy went to a grocery store and the bagger boy asked him "Paperor Plastic" and the man said, "Uh...paper I guess."Then the bagger boy said your total is $56.35. The man took out his wallet and said "Real or Counterfeit".[/size]
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.
Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.
"What do you have in your pocket?", she asked.
"Tennis ball?" the man said smiling back.
"Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ * * * This is the equivalent of getting teenagers to wash up * * * A boy went to his grandfather's house for a week. On the first night at dinner he found a thick, slimy goo on his plate, so he said to his grandfather "Grandpa is this plate clean?"
"As clean as cold water can get them." his grandfather answered. This went on for the rest of the week. On the last day when the boy was leaving the dog wouldn't let him through. So he said "Grandpa your dog won't let me through." His grandfather replied "Cold Water go lie down"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life of the party."John," she said, "did anyone ever tell you how fascinating, how romantic, and how handsome you are?""No," the man replied happily, looking at his wife, "I don't think anyone ever did?""Well," she snapped, "then where did you ever get the idea!!!" ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________
Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers? It's called On & On Anon ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything. The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________
Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house.They both decided it was time to get married.So Little Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage."Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this was cute."Well," said Little Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us.""And how will you live?""I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance.That should be enough."Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers,Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?""Well," said Little Johnny, "we've been lucky so far!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ A few children's books that didn't make the cut:
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8. All Cats Go to Hell
9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
10. Some Kittens Can Fly
11. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
12. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
13. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
15. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ There was a Famous Doctor, an Old Man and a Boyscout on an airplane with engine failure. Unfortunately, there were only two parachutes. The quick thinking Doctor stated "I am the smartest man here and also in the world .. so he jumped out! The Old Man said "My time has been good and the end is near go on kid". The Boyscout replied "No that is okay, the smartest man in the world was in such a hurry, he just jumped out with my backpack. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________ A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it. The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?" The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing a tune. And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, or else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy." "Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."
And finally some thing to think about
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
58
« on: 20 March 2012, 10:25:27 pm »
An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course [/size]and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. [/size]As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads: COLD BEER: $5.00 HAMBURGER: $10.00 CHEESEBURGER: $15.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $18.50 HAND JOB: $250.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. “Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you sir?” The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?” She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I sure am.” The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly, “Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good,
because I want a cheeseburger.”
59
« on: 20 March 2012, 01:50:39 pm »
Theres no off topic section so here it goes
Try this out but don't look at the movie list till you have done the maths!
Try this test and find out what movie is your favourite. This amazing maths quiz can
likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how, but it really works!
Movie Test:
Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favourite movie in the list of 18 movies below.
Movie List:
1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joys of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story
60
« on: 05 March 2012, 11:39:45 am »
Well my 2003 gen 1 thou passed its MOT again this year flying colours no warnings !  I know its not much of an even that the world needs to know about, but on the bikes second MOT from new, I was given and advisory for the steering head bearings,I still havent changed them  at least this time I had done more than 330 miles since the last MOT
61
« on: 01 March 2012, 11:33:25 am »
62
« on: 23 January 2012, 02:03:02 pm »
63
« on: 19 January 2012, 09:57:18 pm »
A motorcycle mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Panther M100 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.So how is it that I make £16.000 a year and you make over £1m when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic.....
"Try doing it with the engine running."
64
« on: 16 November 2011, 10:19:19 am »
Natwest cheque £73 worth of diesel and ¾ of an hour wasted !
This is a short story told long !
A few years ago I paid a cheque from MY business Natwest account to my personal account same branch, I asked when it would clear and was told at the end of business that day.
That evening I went to the Isle of Wight to visit my mother, about 8 pm I stopped to fill up with fuel well after the bank had closed.
My debt card was refused on the grounds of insufficient funds! Luckily my girlfriend was with me so she was able to pay!
It transpired end of business to the Natwest was 3am the following morning! Wow who knew!
Very angry!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well the f*K%RS have caught me again!
Monday I paid a cheque for £1,500, again from MY business account MY personal account.
On Tuesday I had a DD coming out of the account, a payment for the car £350
I knew there was£203 in the account as I checked when paying the cheque in.
Last night over twenty four hours later and passing there end of business day (3 am)
I got diesel £73 and my card was refused for insufficient funds!
For the mathematical among you 203 + 1,500 - 350 = £1,353 so where the F%^k was it?
I had horror scene rushing through my brain of card cloning allsorts. But after being cut of twice,
I finally got through to a lady who informed me that there were insufficient funds in the account as I was overdrawn by £150!!!!!
Turns out the Natwest have change there cheque process which now takes 5 days even for same bank transfers!
Wow again Who knew they made such a small change without telling anyone!
I have raised an official complaint and the outcome will see whether the natwest keep my personal and business accounts !
65
« on: 11 November 2011, 10:41:11 am »
Well today is Remembrance day , and I have just found out that an awful lot of busnisses are refusing the 2 minute silence I personal think that’s awful, one such company the employs have done a petition but it will make no difference. So many people gave there life’s and now are given no respect. Please take the time to remember our fallen whether it’s the First, Second World War or when ever The links below are from my great great grandfather if you have a few minute please read the letter sent from his death bed in France Virtual book
[/b]http://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/collections/virtualmem/Detail/168215[/color][/url][/font] Letters and Pictures
http://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/collections/virtualmem/photos/168215[/color][/url]
66
« on: 14 October 2011, 10:01:01 am »
I hope no one minds I have looked but there are no mods/admin online at the moment to ask perrmission to post this thread and link ! if it offends or is out side of any rules please delete it My better half has been involed for a few years now, and has posted the bit below on a few forums EACH is a charity that is close to My heart as it was my fathers chosen charity and I think a fantastic cause Now over to mrs snapper Halloween fundraiser. Hi all. As some of you already know, I am part of a paranormal investigation group that investigates and tries to either prove or disprove spooky goings on in many Suffolk and Essex properties. For the last couple of years we have helped with a haunted hotel event and the hotel donate a share of profits to our chosen chariy. The team dont charge for any of the work but request that a donation is made to our chosen charity. http://www.justgiving...anormalThrillSeekers/This year the Paranormal Thrill Seekers are raising funds for the East Anglian Children's Hospices. EACH. www.each.org.uk EACH supports families and carers for children and young people with life-threatening conditions across Cambridgeshire, Essex, Norfolk and Suffolk.Providing care and support wherever the family wishes – in families’ own homes, in hospital or at one of their hospices in Ipswich, Milton and Quidenham. EACH are a registered charity (no. 1069284) and need to raise around £4.8 million in public donations to deliver their services this year. This amounts to more than £13,000 a day, every day of the year. A heck of a lot of money as Im sure you will all agree but the funding is so worthwhile for all those who need care and support from EACH. Tickets for the hotels event, if anyone local may be interested, may still be available from the hotel http://www.hintlesham.../halloween_dinner.htm and the Paranormal Thrill seekers have also set up a justgiving page for any donations we aquire in meantime. This may be the last full investigation one of our team leaders goes on, due to her own physical difficulties, and just this one evenings work will leave her pretty much exhausted and crippled for a good few days afterwards, though she has her own consultants, pain clinic and physio appointments set to help her in the days after this event. She really will be giving this her all this year for the EACH charity. If anyone is feeling generous at this time of year (and i know with run up to Christmas things are tight) perhaps you could spare a few pennies for EACH and think of the team as they prepare for what always proves to be an interesting location (even some members of the team have been known to scream and run at Hintlesham Hall)
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