Fazer Owners Club - Unofficial
General => General => Topic started by: maddog04 on 27 December 2015, 09:35:20 pm
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wife suffered a serious stroke just before xmas, she was driving at the time and we must be grateful for small mercies as she could've literally died as her route took her over a flyover during the attack and she said she was all over the road
I'm due to sit down with the whole team at some point to discuss things but as its xmas most of the staff are on hols
wife is paralysed down the left side with limited vision, speech is quiet but clear, She is fully compus mentis with the odd bit of confusion but I don't know what the future holds, bleed still on the brain so until the blood is absorbed back into the body, no further scan can take place
I need your advice reference the way to get help once she's home.....at least 6 weeks away.....just asking if anyone has suffered this in the family and can give me some pointers
me lads distraught seeing his mum like this, I'm being as strong as poss for everyone but I'm fucked after 5 days.....just ensuring we're there for her and we eat and sleep as much as poss, his works are being a tad arsey, mine are ok for now but don't know how far they'll go
all advice greatly appreciated
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Ah man,, you (and her and the lad) poor fokker, and this time of year,,,sobers us up nevermind you.
Most people ,yes most get totally right again,,,fingers crossed,[size=78%]father in law had one fedidnotknhome,he appeared pissed,,,,bad speech,dazed,but[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]fuc,my keyboard has fucked it now[/size]
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try again,,iam in the hot tub, think the steam messes with the keys
yes most get over it,
he was able o crry on at home, no specialist help so dont know how to get helpfor srious cases
On another subject(sorry to hijack) but interesting,,gives hope,,in July we had my dads 80th here and an auntie came with the uncle and man she was a mess,,right out of it,,in 4 months since i last seen her,,,it was put down to althzimers or similar,,her husband was besidehimself,,worrying about how to look after her,shecould live another 15 years,,,today i saw my dad,, he told me auntie is back to normal,,they found brain damege,a hole i the sid eof it,,they fixed it and she ecovered,,,how odd medicine is nowadays,
fingers crossed for you mate
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thanks Slim....everything's crossed.......I'm a cold blooded bastid who deals with shit every day but when it's your own it can be heart breaking watchin your loved ones suffer
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Man, what a thing to happen, but you would be surprised how many improve dramatically in a sort space of time. It is one of the worst things watching them like this and feeling so helpless.
Trying to keep strong for the family, when inside you are wrecked and hurting as much as your son, is emotionally draining and extremely difficult. Be prepared for all sorts of emotions breaking through in the next few weeks as you will be feeling totally helpless, all of which will be quite normal. What she will need is for you an your son to sit with her and talk to her about normal every day things. She will just need you around while she tries to get a grip with what is happening. It is a shame that you sons employers are so unhelpful.
Hopefully your wife will be one of those who improve dramatically. One of my work mates had 2 strokes in the last 9 months and he was in a similar situation to your wife with his left side paralysed and eyesight effected. He is now back at work 4 months later with his biggest problem being lack of sensation in his left side and a slight limp.
However I would only check out what is available as Doctors do not know from one case to the next how it will effect the person long term, 4 to 6 weeks will when they can give a good indication of the long term prognosis.
As for what to do mostly it is for making life easy for getting around the house. The DHS (Dept of Health Services) provide a lot of information and as far as I know give monetary assistance for modifying the house to help with people with serious strokes.
Ensuring the house is wheelchair friendly and if a two storey house, installing a stair lift or converting a downstairs room to a bedroom with downstairs bathroom. Having hand rails at either side of doorways if she is walking. Check out the care assistance system from the DHS for persons with a disability living at hone.
:thumbup she will improve dramatically.
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these days the treatment of haemo strokes is fantastic. even if a surgeon has to go in to repair blood vessels. it's early days atm and she is at her worst right now. once the pressure in the brain is reduced you'll notice a daily difference in her condition.
all she needs is a bit of time and the love and support of your family.
take the time to appreciate what you've got and never put anything off 'til next week/month/year'
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Can't say anything to ease your concern as I've never had to deal with it myself but have heard what's been mentioned earlier about them easing the pressure on the brain and things getting better.
I hope things go well for you and your family, fingers crossed for you mate.
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Terrible news, hope she makes a quick and full recovery. Found this number on a leaflet from a support group called different strokes, 0300 123 1053. The numbers for a national help line that give information and answers questions re time off work etc.
Hope it's of some use
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Please be patient with her she will be scared shitless ,I had a CVA in 2009 aged 47 caused by a blood clot rather than a bleed and lost some vision and speech it was the worst experience of my life because in your own mind everything is normal you know what you want to say or do and nothing works ,I was lucky over time I made a full recovery I'm back to full time work and kept my licence ,If you need to bend someone's ear and ask any questions pm me your number and ill ring you if it will help
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I was in touch with my wifes sister who is a nurse in the UK (now retires) and she sent me this website address
http://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/stroke#path=view%3A/pathways/stroke/stroke-rehabilitation.xml&content=view-index (http://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/stroke#path=view%3A/pathways/stroke/stroke-rehabilitation.xml&content=view-index)
There is a lot of information on there and there are many support groups under the umbrellas of National Health Service to help the person who has had a stroke and the spouses/partners/families of the person who has had a stroke
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thanks for all the replies everyone, numbers and websites duly noted
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Wife is a nurse on the district for years now a practice nurse, she says make sure there is a full care packidge for her
specific needs in place before she leaves hospital, if she can't manage stairs make sure your house has all the facilities down stairs. There's a lot more chance of a good recovery nowadays.
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Father in law had one nearly 8 years ago, his speech is now always slurred and he cannot drive anymore, and needs help to get up and down stairs, on level ground is ok with a walking stick. Their house was modified to have a downstairs bathroom to make it easier for him and a carer comes a couple of times a week.
I know this does not sound good but he is 80 years old now.
Make sure you ask hospital and social services for any help you need, thats what they are for.
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Can't offer any advice fella but really hope she makes a full recovery. As said, I reckon ask for and take any help going. Good luck.
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Sorry to hear about your wife , I hope she makes a swift recovery .
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I have no advice I'm afraid, but reading what others have put, you are in good foccer hands.
Just wanted to send my best, and hope it all works out ok for you , the wife and your family.
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Sorry to hear about your wife mate i hope she make as good a recovery as possible soon.
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thanks for all the best wishes from everyone in the big foccer family
she's having good days and the odd day when she's down and fed up which is normal given the set up, said some nurses are good and some not so good
still has a good sense of humour and has a laugh with us which is good........the other day she was trying to tell her ma about the film Sea Biscuit, likening herself to the horse who was poorly but went on to get better
wife: have you seen the film Mr biscuit?
ma: no
me: it's called Sea biscuit
wife: about a horse who is fucked but gets better, that's me....I'm that horse and I'm going to get better....you must have seen it
ma: (wracking her brains) no.........who's in it
wife:................a horse!!!!!
I nearly fell off the chair PMSL :lol.......maybe you had to there but it was funny as foc and the wife laughed her head off. It wouldn't have gone amiss in something like Only fools and horses with trigger and Rodney.....comedy gold
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LOL.....great that wifey still has a sense of humour .....cant help in any way but wish your wife a speedy recovery :)
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thanks for all the best wishes from everyone in the big foccer family
she's having good days and the odd day when she's down and fed up which is normal given the set up, said some nurses are good and some not so good
still has a good sense of humour and has a laugh with us which is good........the other day she was trying to tell her ma about the film Sea Biscuit, likening herself to the horse who was poorly but went on to get better
wife: have you seen the film Mr biscuit?
ma: no
me: it's called Sea biscuit
wife: about a horse who is fucked but gets better, that's me....I'm that horse and I'm going to get better....you must have seen it
ma: (wracking her brains) no.........who's in it
wife:................a horse!!!!!
I nearly fell off the chair PMSL :lol .......maybe you had to there but it was funny as foc and the wife laughed her head off. It wouldn't have gone amiss in something like Only fools and horses with trigger and Rodney.....comedy gold
:lol :lol Great to see she has a sense of humour and a positive attitude, both vital to getting better
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I feel for you fella, I'll never forgot 23rd March 2012 as i pulled onto my parents drive I noticed all the lights on, the front door wide open, wtf is going on ! I enter to find my mother crying and in bits as my father has just had a stroke, it happened 5 mins after he parked his van outside, walked in and answered the telephone and suddenly crashed to the floor, by the time I had got there the ambulance had already rushed him to hospital, we rushed straight to the hospital and seeing him in intensive care was so upsetting it was like something had stolen his sole, they gave him 24hrs it was touch n go as my father had a serious stroke, he managed to pull through the night and spent the nxt 13wks in hospital I was at his bedside every day after work until they kicked me out in eve, it was very hard for me because my father had a business so I had to sort all that out and sell it as well as some property and still go to work myself, look after my mother and visit my father everyday and whilst I sat talking to him every eve it allowed me to read up on strokes and was very interesting and allowed me to understand, but all this came at a price after so long i ended up having a breakdown myself I was so drained. The stroke effected his left side of his body so it's the oppo side of the brain and my father was left handed so it caused complications with writing and banking so I have power of attorney and sort everything out. Eventually when he came home his speech was mumbled but 3 years later he talks fine, he cannot walk without aid and has a electric wheelchair, he is able to go toilet himself and that's important to him, he talks non stop now where as before you only got one line conversation. When he first came home I found my mum crying and she said it was all too much for her and she cannot cope and said he might have to go in a home, she had home help but she felt as tho they were invading and pushy, so we got shut of them and I now live around the corner and go there twice a day (morn & eve) everyday, go shopping, pay bills, do jobs and so now I live a double life, even when we have holidays I have to think whom will look in ! So my wifes family help with keeping an eye on them it's hard work but these are my parents and they wiped my shitty arse so I'm now repaying the favour. My father now says some awful things, swears calls me a cnunt (the effect of the stroke) but we have lots of great banter and talk shitte he looks forward to my vists everyday and talks non stop but I do miss not being able to ask him life questions and feel as tho ive lost my Dad and gained a Best mate but I'm thankful he is still around.
It's strange how I used to think they will live forever but that's not true, @70 still worked 6-days a week and was really fit being X-forces pt instructor and still muscular but that made no difference to the stroke.
So Maddog my deepest sympathies go out to you and your family, i no what your going through it will be a rough ride at times but there's light at the end of the tunnel even tho it seems like a long tunnel you will get there.
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thanks for that Cable tie, very moving.
I don't think anyone can fully understand the effects of a stroke until you've seen one, I certainly didn't. Somehow its harder to deal with seeing a loved one fucked up rather than dead, my dad died slowly of cancer and we knew it was coming so for me it was a relief for dad that he was pain free even though I was gutted he'd died. Watching my wife lie there paralysed is very hard but I expect that I'll cope and my lad appears to be coping a bit better now
I was going the ozzy 3 times a day at first and after 5 days I was fucked physically, I realised I'd be no good to anyone and there was a possibility of me going down with something serious and my lad would be a wreck with his mum and dad out the game, I'm now going once possibly twice a day and its still hard trying to do the usual chores like walking the dog, cleaning etc and I feel guilty about only seeing her once a day. I'll have to return to work soon and that will impinge on things but worse things happen at sea................onwards and upwards
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BTW.......I've got a hospital meeting next week with everyone who's involved in the wife's care/rehab ie doctors/nurses/speech therapists/physios
to those who have been down this road, what questions can I ask?
I spoke to a doctor yesterday and its the same old......"everyone is different with a stroke and its just a waiting game to see how it goes"
maybe they're right but its not helping me much
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Your are correct no one can understand the effect of a stroke until you have seen one, my mother never came to the specialist meets shes partially deaf and old and not well herself so to come was probably asking to much, but that meant it was harder for her to understand my fathers needs and his rash remarks.
Questions: I probably asked hundreds but the one I'll not forget is will my father have another stroke ! Stroke victims are more vulnerable regarding having another stroke over say me or you so the medication is very important to them, I was told not to overdue asking my father questions because they are quick to snap and cause stress, the pysio was very good and my father had 12 months but there's only so much they can do and age plays a massive part on recovery, your wife sounds young'ish so hopefully will make recovery but it ain't a race so will take time. We also brought my father a tens machine (it feels like getting a small electric shock) he puts his feet on it and it exercises his feet and puts feelings in his leg.
Don't worry about questions to ask they will give you all the info plus more and tell you what to expect .
Good luck .
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some good news tonight, wife managed to move left arm and leg.......nothing great but small improvements.....ozzy very happy with her progress
fingers crossed
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some good news tonight, wife managed to move left arm and leg.......nothing great but small improvements.....ozzy very happy with her progress
fingers crossed
:thumbup
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physio is very important. I know two people who had strokes, the one struggled with physio the other didn't bother, the one is on a walking stick the other has never left her wheelchair. sad just that little bit of drive, o that was 15 years ago they are both okay. ;)
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she's doing very well on the physio, they're very happy with and so much so, that she's being told off for trying to do too much herself eg getting up on the commode without help
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she's doing very well on the physio, they're very happy with and so much so, that she's being told off for trying to do too much herself eg getting up on the commode without help
That is a good complaint and good for her own mindset, you will be amazed what a few weeks will do. :)
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Sorry to hear this brother, hope she gets better soon. My dad had a stroke back in the late 70's, mum and me had to look after him. He struggled for years trying to get better but unfortunately it took him in 82, its horrible thing to happen to anybody, I would guess that as the years have gone by the treatment has got better...... fingers crossed for a speedy recovery pal.
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cheers Mark
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wife is now getting physio to aid walking and she "walked" about 30m the other day with a nurse supporting her on both sides........staff and wife very happy
we're thinking of taking an iPad in for her and are wondering if anyone knows of any games that will aid her sight/brain recovery.......I'd only ask that people on here who have had a stroke/relatives had a stroke ......if you used something similar, reply
I ask that only because we can all second guess (me included.......I think crosswords maybe good.......but I maybe far off the mark and I don't want her stressing if she cannot do something) so only answers from those with direct experience please.......I've tried google to no avail and its hard catching a Doctor to ask the question
thanks in advance
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Excellent news maddog, and I totally agree with your request for those that have been there before, I would imagine though that every stroke is different and what's right for one may not be right for another so don't just close your eyes. I can't help you in any respect of a stroke as I've had no experience but my dad suffers from dimentia and his isn't the same as someone else's so that's why I say keep an open mind.
Good luck fella.
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you're 100% right mate and everyone is different........maybe I didn't make myself clear and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone
I'm seeking advice from those with experience as I think that maybe the best route that's all
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you're 100% right mate and everyone is different........maybe I didn't make myself clear and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone
I'm seeking advice from those with experience as I think that maybe the best route that's all
:agree
And you never offended me mate, I was nearly pointing out that an open mind is a good route
Hope I didn't offend you either :)
It's hard to put into txt what sometimes you'd say with no problems :)
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I cant help with any useful advice but it sounds like your wife is doing well so good lick and i hope she makes a speedy recovery.
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Mr Maddog, glad she doin ok ,when I had my CVA my wife got me a Nintendo ds brain train but I have to be honest I didn't use it to much mainly because i hadn't got the patience at first and i got very frustrated and short tempered when i couldn't do it ,I found everyday conversation and a bit of banter with family and friends the best therapy .And as i said in a earlier post if you need to bend someone's ear get in touch
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My best wishes to all concerned. Everyone is different but just a tale of hope - my best mate's dad had a pretty hefty one that forced him to retire. He was laid up for a while but now he's the same old guy he always was, always coming out with comedy gold, where for a while he couldn't speak properly but no issues any more. The only thing is he didn't bother getting his driving licence back as he was late 60s when it happened and not sure he'd pass the 70+ medical. Hope your Mrs makes a full recovery too.
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no offence taken by me pal
Fatbloke.....I clocked your offer early on and appreciate the offer, nothing's been to troublesome upto now but if things come on top then I'll pm you
I think the with one hand down plus dodgy peripheral vision....the DS might be a bit small
thanks to everyone else for the kind thoughts too
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we're thinking of taking an iPad in for her and are wondering if anyone knows of any games that will aid her sight/brain recovery......
No stroke experience but my 75 year old inlaws are somewhat addicted to word storm on the ipad
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complaint going in tomorrow with the ward manager
Mrs had no physio today, they've opened a 5th bay for "medical" patients who have to be seen by a physio within X time......so today, 3 stroke patients including my Mrs missed their physio coz the clowns that make the rules, made the physios go and see to less important patients.
The physios are as pissed off with it as the stroke patients and told me Mrs to complain. I've learnt tonight that my Mrs should be getting a minimum 30 minutes every day which doesn't always happen either.....the stroke patients see physio as their "get out of gaol card".....the more physio = the better you get = the earlier you go home!
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I. Hope your wife gets the physio she needs , complaining definitely helps , staying silent and they just assume your ok , my daughter Amy was rushed into hospital yesterday with appendicitis , she was breaking.g her heart when we went to see her tonight as she hasn't eaten for 24 hours , I had a word with the nurse , just explaining that I know your busy , but if you could at least let her know what's going on it would make a difference .
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I no it's frustrating but hold fire with complaining turn the negative into a positive ! your wife is in the best place she's getting better slowly, think how the opposite would have effected you and your family and remember everyone deserves the same treatment regardless if there needs are less, so I would not be complaining myself they do a brilliant job even if understaffed, it ain't a race !
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I. Hope your wife gets the physio she needs , complaining definitely helps , staying silent and they just assume your ok , my daughter Amy was rushed into hospital yesterday with appendicitis , she was breaking.g her heart when we went to see her tonight as she hasn't eaten for 24 hours , I had a word with the nurse , just explaining that I know your busy , but if you could at least let her know what's going on it would make a difference .
Im no doctor but I would of thought that being rushed in with appendicitis could mean an operation and when you have an operation then you are usually nill by mouth for x amount of time. Never had any appendicitis issues or know anyone who has so I may be out of place in saying that I would not of thought one of the symptoms is feeling hungry.
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hope your daughter's ok esetest, send her our best wishes
cable......understand your point and I know she's in the best place but the stroke ward should be for stroke patients. problems arise when ozzys are short of beds and plonk anyone in any bed. These last few weeks have seen patients with chest infections, dementia etc placed on her ward......it was getting her down as she saw all these elderly "stroke" victims going home before her when ozzy are telling her she's doing great. It began to depress her as she then thought there was something wrong with her
also had a dementia patient crying/shouting out loud at all hours of the day and night (not her fault) which meant no one getting any rest/sleep
on top of all this, the 5th ward patients got the physio over the stroke patients
this is why we're all angry (including the physio's)
the easiest way to put it is to liken someone on a critical care ward needing round the clock treatment and someone with the flu getting a bed in there or the Doc being called away to deal with the flu patient in the next ward.......extreme example I know......but you get my drift
It's one thing having spare beds and if a particular ward is full the ozzy has to fit people in which I understand but Triage works on the basis of those needing priority and I'd argue here that the stroke patients are losing priority due to the old tick box scenario
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get on there case maddog, they don't get a second chance at the physio, the time is now, good luck both.
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It was my mistake mr maddog I realised after I sent it I should have posted on the existing thread ;)
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no worries pal, mods have locked it down now
she walked up a flight of stairs in the ozzy yesterday, I thought they were a small wooden set of 2or 3 steps they had knocked up in the physio room but they actually took her out to the public stairwell that we use to access the ozzy floors. Around 12 stairs and she went up and down twice with no support other than her holding onto the handrail.......wiped her out physically and mentally but everyone chuffed to bits
her mind is still going from the odd confused moment to pure sharpness. We were sat around the bed discussing various crap and somehow we got onto Royalty, Brother in law says he'd shoot the lot of them (not a lover of the Royals) as the Mrs buzzes for the toilet......one of those nights were everyone on the ward wanted the toilet at the same time and its hectic for the staff.
Mrs is desperate and buzzes again and the nurse asks if she needs anything.....yeah the toilet........well you're 3rd at the moment replies the nurse and quick as a flash the wife says........ 3rd in line for the throne and starts laughing
I thought it was very clever how she immediately linked talk of Royalty and the toilet and came up with the line......I couldn't come up with this and I'm meant to be the "good" brain!
on another note, she had the male nurse scratching his head......so, when a female nurse gets promoted and then gets called Sister........what do they call you if you get the job........ Brother?
he was right flummoxed and didn't have a clue........so come on everyone.....have a serious guess and lets see what you come up with (no googling the answer) :rolleyes
winner gets 10 brownie points :D
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Ohh Matron!
No, its still Sister really.
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technically correct but BB but as a male you're not going to answer to that, so the question still stands folks (BTW.....the male nurse came back and told the Mrs the answer)
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You better ask the Charge Nurse what the answer is then :pokefun
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I'm with Mr bb I think its a charge nurse
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yep....charge nurse........a big fat cigar to BB ;)
(I bet that's a name from our friends in the good ole US of A)
the lad in question told the Mrs that the male nurses do indeed call the boss, Brother when addressing them
well, that was probably the shortest ever puzzle on Foc U and we didn't even make the night shift :o
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mr maddog. I hope mrs maddog is continuing to make good progress ,thoughts and best wishes to you all
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Mrs maddog is doing very well thank you.
Speech & sight is good, left arm not good and left leg has very little feeling but she can walk with a stick and climb and descend stairs. OT's & physio's are very happy with her progress and say she is well ahead of where they expected given the 2 months she's been in.
She comes home Wednesday for half a day with the OT's to assess the house then hopefully she's home within a week......she's been going stir crazy in ozzy but is well happy at the news of going home. Other people coming here Tuesday to fit handrail
foc.........I've got a busy weekend ahead tidying up the house :lol
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Delighted to hear of the improvement. :)
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:woot
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nice one glad to hear she is doing so well.
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house visit went well tho she got a bit emotional which is expected, the dog made a right fuss of her and even the cat came and said hello
handrails fitted around the stairs and the discharge date is the 9th so she's scratching the ozzy wall like in the prison films, counting the days off. Fingers and toes on left side starting to wriggle and she can now tap her left foot, promising signs but very early days
the nurse was getting her in bed the other night and I told the Mrs I'd bought her a new fryin pan so she could do me egg on toast when she gets home........you'll be foccin wearing it, she said :lol
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Mr maddog ,I hope mrs maddog is getting on ok and she is continuing to improve :thumbup
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she's been home 5 weeks now and its probably just as intense as the ozzy
carers, physio's, OT's, ozzy appts etc you seem to be closing the door to one then the next one arrives. She has her ups and downs as I'm sure you did and she has a thousand and one jobs in her head she wants doing but she hasn't finished telling me the first and she's telling me to do the 2nd and 3rd.
I cannot help it but I'm stressed and I'm short with people......really trying to bite my lip but it boils over
been out on the bike once since December and that was just to go to the shops, really wanted to let rip on the bike but I need to be ultra cautious now for the sake of everyone
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I have a relative, he retired two years ago, his wife 3 months ago lost her marbles, really rapid deteriation , he is pulling his hair out, a full time carer, is this my retirement I wished for he said,
bit of a bummer, and you do it because its your other half.
keep strong boy !!!!
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Please be patient brother, I can really understand how you must feel and I also know first hand the frustrations mrs mad dog must be feeling , as I said in a earlier post if you need an ear to chew !!
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Hi Mr Maddog, how's everyone doin all good I hope :thumbup
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you have a pm
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Hi Maddog, How are you and your family doing now?
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physio at home has ended now but we're off to a rehab centre in the lakes for 2 weeks so the Mrs will get intensive physio and I'll get to chill......just as well as my BP is high
thanks for asking ;)
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You all are after a very tough few months.
The lakes are always a good place to chill and recharge the batteries.