A Little Advice For Devilsyam.

[Hedgetrimmer]

Elsewhere, Luke wrote:

assuming I survive the usa trip

Y'see, he has a little, I'm sure quite irrational, fear of bears it seems 

OMG! The BEARS!!!



 

A little bed time reading for you Luke:

"All bears are agile, cunning and immensely strong, and they are always hungry. If they want to kill you and eat you, they can, and pretty much whenever they want. That doesn't happen often, but - and here's the salient point - once would be enough."

Some advice. If you come between a mother bear and her cubs:

"Nothing worries and antagonises a female bear more than to have people between her and her brood. Furious, she turned and gave chase - despite the bear's lolloping gait it can move at up to 35 miles an hour..." So best not do that 

A reiteration of some advice I gave you a while back, just in case you've forgotten:

In bear country, wear small tinkling bells, so that you alert bears to your presence without startling them.
Also carry pepper spray in case you do encounter a bear.
And it's useful to be able to tell black bears and grizzly bears apart by their droppings. Black bear shit tends to contain berries and maybe small squirrels.
Grizzly bear shit contains little tinkling bells and smells of pepper spray....
 
And another way to be able to tell them apart:
If you see a bear, climb a tree. If it climbs the tree and kills you, it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down and kills you, it's a grizzly bear.......

So what do you do if you encounter a bear? Run?

"All the books tell you that if a grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life."

Play dead?

"A grizzly may chew on a limp form for a minute or two, but will generally lose interest and shuffle off."

And a black bear?

"With black bears however, playing dead is futile since they will continue to chew on you until you are considerably past caring."


Shoot it?

"...nothing unnerved the native Indians more than the grizzly (mostly predominant where you're going Luke, i.e., Yellowstone  ), and not surprisingly since you could riddle a grizzly with arrows - positively porcupine it - and it would still keep coming. Even Lewis and Clark with their big guns were astounded by the ability of the grizzly to absorb volleys of lead with barely a wobble."

How to ward off an aggressive bear?

"... Herrero (author of "Bear Attacks: Their Causes And Avoidance") suggests making a lot of noise, banging pots and pans together, throwing sticks and rocks and 'running at the bear'. (Yeah, right. You first professor.) On the other hand, he then adds judiciously, these tactics could 'merely provoke the bear'. Well, thanks. Elsewhere he suggests...should consider making noises from time to time - singing a song, say - to alert bears to your presence, since a startled bear is more likely to be an angry bear, but then a few pages later cautions that 'there may be danger in making noise', since that can attract a hungry bear that might otherwise overlook you.
The fact is, no one can tell you what to do. Bears are unpredictable, and what works in one circumstance may not work in another."

But rest assured, bear attacks are rare:

"In the 8 decades to 1980 he found just 23 confirmed black bear killings of humans (about half the number of killings by grizzlies)...adds that most of these injuries were not severe..." (what, death?!  )
" 'The typical black bear inflicted injury', he writes blandly, 'is minor and usually involves only a few scratches and light bites'.
 Pardon me, but what exactly is a light bite? Are we talking a playful wrestle and gummy nips? I think not."

But don't worry mate, I'm sure you'll be fine - happy holidays! 

[richfzs]

This sort of post, is why you need mates 

[mickvp]

[Frosties]

 

Found that very touching Nick.

So pretty fair to say that Luke has been a good friend who you will miss. My advice would be to catch the guilty bear to cover your lounge floor with.

Bye Luke 

[devilsyam]

I am well equipped for yellowstone we have bear spray and 12 bore at the cabin
Tbh worst issue are the bison
If you want some intresting film on the interaction between bison bears elk moose just you tube it
In reality this time of year bikers are grouped 10 to 15 and escorted through known rough areas but hay would not b an adventure if no mountains to overcome
For those not knowing what I'm up too
Flying to salt lake city up to yellowstone via the Teton mountain national park 3 nights there in a forum members hunting lodge
From there we will take to chief indian highway and beartooth pass sturgis then down through the badlands to mount Rushmore from there to colorado springs via denver taking in the zoo and pikes peak on to gunnison were we spend are last week with local ride out to black Rock pass cotton wood pass million doller highway
Duran go and lake city before return home bikes are goldwings
3500 miles 2-1/2 weeks

[Val]

[Hedgetrimmer]

Tbh worst issue are the bison

OMG! BISON AS WELL?!!!

As I said, I'm sure you just worry too much Luke.


Can I have your bikes? 


PS All quotes are from Bill Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" - highly entertaining, proper laugh out loud stuff; recommended.

[slimwilly]

Luke,,,what bike are ya riding ??

[devilsyam]

We're riding goldwings slim perfectly suited for usa useless here

[darrsi]

Don't try fooling them by dressing up in a bear suit either.......you could get proper fucked.   

[Hedgetrimmer]

We're riding goldwings slim perfectly suited for usa useless here

Hmmm, Goldwing you say? 

[unfazed]

Elsewhere, Luke wrote:

assuming I survive the usa trip

Y'see, he has a little, I'm sure quite irrational, fear of bears it seems 

OMG! The BEARS!!!



 

A little bed time reading for you Luke:

"All bears are agile, cunning and immensely strong, and they are always hungry. If they want to kill you and eat you, they can, and pretty much whenever they want. That doesn't happen often, but - and here's the salient point - once would be enough."

Some advice. If you come between a mother bear and her cubs:

"Nothing worries and antagonises a female bear more than to have people between her and her brood. Furious, she turned and gave chase - despite the bear's lolloping gait it can move at up to 35 miles an hour..." So best not do that 

A reiteration of some advice I gave you a while back, just in case you've forgotten:

In bear country, wear small tinkling bells, so that you alert bears to your presence without startling them.
Also carry pepper spray in case you do encounter a bear.
And it's useful to be able to tell black bears and grizzly bears apart by their droppings. Black bear shit tends to contain berries and maybe small squirrels.
Grizzly bear shit contains little tinkling bells and smells of pepper spray....
 
And another way to be able to tell them apart:
If you see a bear, climb a tree. If it climbs the tree and kills you, it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down and kills you, it's a grizzly bear.......

So what do you do if you encounter a bear? Run?

"All the books tell you that if a grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life."

Play dead?

"A grizzly may chew on a limp form for a minute or two, but will generally lose interest and shuffle off."

And a black bear?

"With black bears however, playing dead is futile since they will continue to chew on you until you are considerably past caring."


Shoot it?

"...nothing unnerved the native Indians more than the grizzly (mostly predominant where you're going Luke, i.e., Yellowstone  ), and not surprisingly since you could riddle a grizzly with arrows - positively porcupine it - and it would still keep coming. Even Lewis and Clark with their big guns were astounded by the ability of the grizzly to absorb volleys of lead with barely a wobble."

How to ward off an aggressive bear?

"... Herrero (author of "Bear Attacks: Their Causes And Avoidance") suggests making a lot of noise, banging pots and pans together, throwing sticks and rocks and 'running at the bear'. (Yeah, right. You first professor.) On the other hand, he then adds judiciously, these tactics could 'merely provoke the bear'. Well, thanks. Elsewhere he suggests...should consider making noises from time to time - singing a song, say - to alert bears to your presence, since a startled bear is more likely to be an angry bear, but then a few pages later cautions that 'there may be danger in making noise', since that can attract a hungry bear that might otherwise overlook you.
The fact is, no one can tell you what to do. Bears are unpredictable, and what works in one circumstance may not work in another."

But rest assured, bear attacks are rare:

"In the 8 decades to 1980 he found just 23 confirmed black bear killings of humans (about half the number of killings by grizzlies)...adds that most of these injuries were not severe..." (what, death?!  )
" 'The typical black bear inflicted injury', he writes blandly, 'is minor and usually involves only a few scratches and light bites'.
 Pardon me, but what exactly is a light bite? Are we talking a playful wrestle and gummy nips? I think not."

But don't worry mate, I'm sure you'll be fine - happy holidays! 

Must be great for Devilsyam to have such reassuring friends like you Nick, you certain have a great way of consoling people and making then feel so at ease with their fears. 
A truly great friend to have 

[Hedgetrimmer]

Must be great for Devilsyam to have such reassuring friends like you Nick, you certain have a great way of consoling people and making then feel so at ease with their fears. 
A truly great friend to have 

Don't be silly. A little teasing never hurt anyone. Fact is, thousands of people visit places like Yellowstone, walk the national trails, stay in cabins and even tents, year in, year out, and never have any problems with bears. Most incidents that do occur are due to tourists being stupid when they do see them. One mother, when a black bear came to a picnic site to scrounge from leftovers, painted her young daughter's hand in honey for the bear to lick off - is it any wonder the bear bit the child's hand off - how was it supposed to know to just lick the honey off?   

That's why I'm winding Luke up (and the fact I owe him - and several others here - from the hedgetrimmer jokes  ); because I thought he was being melodramatic, not because I thought he really has reason to be terrified of the damn things.

But just in case, can I have your bikes Luke? 

[devilsyam]

All taken in jest

[slappy]

Just noticed this on the BBC news site when I was browsing,http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33334431

[Hedgetrimmer]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33334431

Sorry, slappy, couldn't clicky on yours.

[unfazed]

Must be great for Devilsyam to have such reassuring friends like you Nick, you certain have a great way of consoling people and making then feel so at ease with their fears. 
A truly great friend to have 

Don't be silly. A little teasing never hurt anyone. Fact is, thousands of people visit places like Yellowstone, walk the national trails, stay in cabins and even tents, year in, year out, and never have any problems with bears. Most incidents that do occur are due to tourists being stupid when they do see them. One mother, when a black bear came to a picnic site to scrounge from leftovers, painted her young daughter's hand in honey for the bear to lick off - is it any wonder the bear bit the child's hand off - how was it supposed to know to just lick the honey off? 

That's why I'm winding Luke up (and the fact I owe him - and several others here - from the hedgetrimmer jokes  ); because I thought he was being melodramatic, not because I thought he really has reason to be terrified of the damn things.

But just in case, can I have your bikes Luke? 

Now you have taken all the fun out of it

[noggythenog]

Devilsyam & a bear shitting in the woods.


Devilsyam - "bear do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"


Bear - "no mate"




So devilsyam wiped his arse on the bear


Then his harley wouldnt start

[Hedgetrimmer]

Now you have taken all the fun out of it

Not really. I still think he's a big girl's blouse 

[devilsyam]

bison luv harleys more

http://www.youtube.com/embed/0teYYsMD8fk

[unfazed]

Now you have taken all the fun out of it

Not really. I still think he's a big girl's blouse 

 

[devilsyam]

right im off later guys