Fazer Owners Club - Unofficial

General => General => Topic started by: NorthWestern on 04 July 2015, 08:55:20 PM

Title: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: NorthWestern on 04 July 2015, 08:55:20 PM
The converse to nicks thread, what made you chuckle to yourself in your helmet.

Friday going to work was over taken by Mr Fair-weather on his gsxr when he crossed double whites causing on coming traffic to move into the gutter and flash lights at him. He was in some hurry to queue at the red lights we were approaching.  I plodded up and timed to perfection I slingshot past him as they went green. I chuckled.....
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dead Eye on 04 July 2015, 09:06:54 PM
It's making me chuckle that you posted this twice :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: NorthWestern on 04 July 2015, 09:09:49 PM
Lol pesky tapatalk
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 07 September 2016, 04:40:35 PM
When an obesity crisis 'expert' appears on telly...and they are obese :lol :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dave48 on 07 September 2016, 05:03:28 PM
When any politician makes an "expert"(?) pronouncement on any subject you care to mention :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: BBROWN1664 on 07 September 2016, 05:32:33 PM
Expert = Drip under pressure
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: JOE on 07 September 2016, 07:12:16 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jrTPB5s1ZQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jrTPB5s1ZQ)
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Frosties on 07 September 2016, 07:24:34 PM
I know I shouldn't but  :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Edmund on 07 September 2016, 11:11:51 PM
That was hilarious  :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Exupnut on 08 September 2016, 12:14:11 AM
Hahahahahaha oops CUNT....I know I shouldn't WANK U CUNTS ...3 blind oops cuntsweat  u mouse fukin clock was out anyway  ......AHEM!!  Foccers :-)
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dave48 on 08 September 2016, 06:41:26 AM
Expert = Drip under pressure
EXPERT- alternative definition: Someone who knows more & more about less & less until eventually he knows everything about nothing :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 22 October 2016, 01:33:30 PM
When the newspapers do features on people who have reached 100 years or more and they ask them to what do they attribute reaching such a great age.

The answers are nearly always potentially harmful things such as: 'A fry-up every morning' or 'A daily drink of whiskey'  :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: DILLIGAFF on 22 October 2016, 02:36:07 PM
Self styled "celebrity" on the chase.......

Q.  How many hands are there in total on the four clock faces of Big Ben?"


A.     errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, "Five"
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: midden on 22 October 2016, 03:28:24 PM
When an obesity crisis 'expert' appears on telly...and they are obese :lol :lol

need to experience to best understand
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Exupnut on 23 October 2016, 12:16:29 PM
https://youtu.be/eIwgyB_w6G0
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 28 September 2017, 11:01:00 AM
People that do a full shop in a petrol station garage when there's a supermarket at half the prices just down the road😄
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: tommyardin on 28 September 2017, 11:53:34 AM
Expert = Drip under pressure


Exactly, an X is a has been and a SPURT is a drip under pressure
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Frosties on 28 September 2017, 06:04:30 PM
Love this - The Expert


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg)
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dudeofrude on 28 September 2017, 06:15:24 PM
I'll save a long story and just say my mate sent me this and I genuinely chuckled out loud for about 15 minutes.... im not overly sure why butit just tickled me
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dudeofrude on 28 September 2017, 06:16:14 PM
I'll save a long story and just say my mate sent me this and I genuinely chuckled out loud for about 15 minutes.... im not overly sure why butit just tickled me

Seeing it again has just started me off again 🤣🤣
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 29 September 2017, 11:11:52 AM
That exaggerated, elongated, speeded-up, silly walk you do when a car unexpectedly stops to let you cross the road😄.
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: locksmith on 29 September 2017, 11:29:17 AM
On the TV this morning they said to wash your hands properly you should sing the Happy Birthday song twice while washing.
I went in the shower and chuckled while wondering how many times i should sing it washing my fat body!!!
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 29 September 2017, 11:40:08 AM
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: BBROWN1664 on 29 September 2017, 01:25:57 PM
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

..unless your driving in the south of England when you need to leave no more of a gap than 0.25s between you and the car in front or some other bugger will pull into that space and you will end up reversing all the way round the M25 to maintain the gap


My versions a bit long but...
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Dudeofrude on 29 September 2017, 03:46:00 PM
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.

The problem I've always found with that 'saying' is that you can replace the two with pretty much any number and it still works so doesn't really help you remember anything. Only a fool breaks the nine second rule? 😅
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 29 September 2017, 08:42:17 PM
Blimey it must have been donkeys' years ago! :lol


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf5d2DP4Pp0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf5d2DP4Pp0)
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Hugh Mungus on 29 September 2017, 08:59:42 PM
If you leave a gap of 2 seconds nowadays some fool will cut in front of you.
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: tommyardin on 29 September 2017, 10:10:43 PM
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.


Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Wharfe on 29 September 2017, 10:48:43 PM




Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek



THAT made me chuckle...... :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Hugh Mungus on 30 September 2017, 06:22:58 AM
When I'm stuck in a queue of cars doing 35 in a 60 limit I'm usually thing "Who is the cunt at the front?"
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: celticdog on 30 September 2017, 09:46:25 AM
A trip to the Zoo is always educational for children


(https://cdn2.kontraband.com/uploads/image/2017/02/15/20/preview_cb01a047-dd54-42cb-9a58-b16886227be2.jpg)
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Grahamm on 30 September 2017, 12:20:53 PM
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted.' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!'"
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: tommyardin on 30 September 2017, 04:07:42 PM

Hey Grahamm,
Love the above joke very, very funny  :lol 


Not so sure about Gorilla Muff  :eek
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Nemesis on 30 September 2017, 08:09:18 PM
I go to sea cod every Friday, usually within chips peas white bread and a pot of tea, its a long prawned out process, as for the shark thats how I ride, cos I bite back at carp car drivers :rollin
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Nemesis on 30 September 2017, 08:10:29 PM
Filtering thru 2 miles of traffic :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 30 September 2017, 08:31:49 PM
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.


Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek


 :lol I actually did LOL for real at that! :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 14 October 2017, 10:52:29 AM
Danny Baker's Saturday morning show on Radio 5.

The only phone-in show where I actually want to hear peoples stories:lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Wharfe on 16 October 2017, 09:44:44 PM
Riding home from work of an evening up the M606 into Bradford and then round the ringroad, without fail meeting some bellend in (usually) a BMW who spots me and takes my presence on a bike as incentive to then drive like a  tw*t, floor it and razz past me at 90+ looking all smug. Which is fine pal, my ego really won't suffer...but you ARE forgetting that I can filter and you can't. See ya.....
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: maddog04 on 16 October 2017, 10:07:00 PM
yup, filtering

makes me piss my pants as all the goons who've cut me up/undertook me/flew past me....then grind to a halt


see ya mofo's :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: celticdog on 22 October 2017, 03:02:29 PM
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: fazerscotty on 23 October 2017, 02:01:41 PM
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: NorthWestern on 22 November 2017, 05:31:08 AM
Crossing Warrington on the bike while the cars are gridlocked
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Frosties on 24 November 2017, 07:13:23 PM
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol 
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: slappy on 24 November 2017, 08:04:06 PM
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol


In the present climate you will probably find yourself in court for sexual harassment.
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: stet on 12 December 2017, 12:07:38 AM
oops!
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: YamFazFan on 12 December 2017, 08:04:32 AM
When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: tommyardin on 12 December 2017, 09:18:09 AM
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol
Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: darrsi on 12 December 2017, 10:34:55 AM
When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??


Could have a faulty gauge, and the plane is suffering carb icing.
Personally i'd be putting my parachute on though 'cos either way it's a serious brown trouser moment.  :lol
Title: Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
Post by: Frosties on 12 December 2017, 10:35:29 AM
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol
Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes


I can't lie Tommy - had a few do that over the summer especially. You need to time it right  :lol