Date: 21-09-20  Time: 00:47 AM

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Grahamm

Pages: 1 ... 111 112 [113] 114
General / My Blackberry isn't working!
« on: 14 October 2011, 05:45:28 PM »
Apropos of recent problems with RIM technology...

My Blackberry Is Not Working! - The One Ronnie, Preview - BBC One

General / Re: Aaaaargh....HELP!
« on: 13 October 2011, 11:02:13 PM »
Brut force sorted it

Praise be to Henry Cooper!

BRUT 33 TV AD Henry Cooper and Barry Sheene

General / Re: My first solo photoshoot
« on: 13 October 2011, 10:57:12 PM »
The night before the shoot, the model called me and cancelled.

Sheesh, that's a bugger :(

I once had a shoot planned for my catalogue when I had a call from the model (clearly down with a serious cold!) saying that she'd still try to make it if I wanted!

Fortunately it wasn't desperate and it would be no loss to reschedule so I told her not to be so noble and call me when she was over the cold :)

General / Re: A funny to start the week...
« on: 13 October 2011, 05:39:28 PM »
That's the point.   There aren't any stereotypical English jokes.   

Only because the "stereotypical Englishman" jokes tend to break down into stereotypical Geordie, Scouser, Posh Bird, Upper-Class Bloke, Working Man, Chav, Essex Girl, West Country Yokel etc etc etc...

Do you also tell "Paki, Wog, Jew and Queer jokes" ?

Yes, should I be Politically Correct and refrain from doing so? If so, should Chris Rock stop telling Nigger jokes? Should Rabbi Jackie Mason stop telling Jewish jokes? Should gays I know stop telling Queer jokes? Have you never told an Irish joke yourself? Or is it that *you* are allowed to because "I'm one of them..."? Have you *never* laughed at *any* stereotype-based joke because they're all offensive, or is it only ones that you find personally offensive?

Very brave man behind a keyboard Grahamm.   Tell an Irish joke to my face if we ever meet at a Foc-U gathering,  and I'll show you exactly how much of a sense of humour I have about this subject.   

So because you don't like a joke, you're apparently threatening someone with physical violence?

My mistake, you clearly have a balanced personality: A chip on *BOTH* shoulders!

General / Re: Biker caught speeding without bike!
« on: 13 October 2011, 01:30:31 AM »
That's going to hurt!  :eek

General / Re: A funny to start the week...
« on: 13 October 2011, 01:17:55 AM »
As an Irishman,  I find this offensive Grahamm.  >:      Irish jokes went out of fashion a long time ago.   Would you tell it to an Irishman face to face?

Depends, does he a) have a chip on his shoulder or b) a sense of humour and an understanding that it's nothing personal?

Tell you what, you post a stereotypical English joke and we'll find out which of those two categories I fall into...

General / Re: Braehead Shopping and Camera's
« on: 11 October 2011, 10:30:41 PM »
Following a lot of negative publicity and demands for a boycott, Breahead have issued an apology to the guy and will be revising their policy on photography (and hopefully training their Security Guards to use their brains!)

General / A funny to start the week...
« on: 09 October 2011, 11:30:24 PM »
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site.

The foreman says, "Can you brew tea?"

The Irishman says, "Yes."

"Good. Can you drive a fork lift?"

The Irishman looks at him and says,

"Just how bloody big is the teapot?"

Your Suggestions and How you can help / Re: General
« on: 06 October 2011, 12:17:19 AM »
On another forum I use the main area is called "General Bullshit" :)

General / The blessed sacrament of marriage (redux)
« on: 04 October 2011, 10:45:21 PM »
A husband and wife are playing golf and, just as he's about to tee off on the fourth hole, the husband says:

"Darling, I have to tell you something. Years ago, not long after we were married, I had an affair with another woman. I'm so sorry, but it's been eating at me all these years and I just had to tell you."

"Darling," says the wife, "if it was that long ago and you've never done it again, I forgive you because I love you."

They go on playing and then, just as they get to the 18th hole, the wife says:

"Darling, I need to tell you something too. Years ago, before we were married, I had a sex change, I was born a man."

The husband looks at her and then smashes his putter against his golf bag, ranting and raving.

"You lying, despicable *BITCH*!! You never told me?

"And all these years you've been playing off the *LADIES* tee!!"

Your Suggestions and How you can help / Re: For sale template
« on: 03 October 2011, 07:10:58 PM »
Also a requirement (or editing by mods) so you actually put some clue as to what is For Sale or Wanted in the bloody subject line instead of just "For Sale" and you having to waste time hovering over or opening the thread to find out that it's nothing you were interested in in the first place!

General / Re: earplugs
« on: 03 October 2011, 07:07:35 PM »
When I started riding, I didn't bother, but then tried a pair and found it made a hell of a lot of difference to the level of noise I experienced even though the Shoei XR-1000 I have is supposed to be a quiet lid.

I just buy the cheap "orange plugs on blue plastic cord" type, wash them when they get manky and eventually chuck them away when they start to fall to pieces.

(PS they're also useful when I'm on a train and want to get some kip because it keeps out the noise of all the idiots yakking on mobile phones, listening to MP3 players with the volume turned up etc! :)

General / Re: Motorway Limit to 90
« on: 03 October 2011, 07:03:21 PM »
The problem with legally permitted "undertaking" is you'll get some idiots who see it as legitimising carving back and forth across the lanes in the hope of saving a few minutes on their journey plus you'll get others who'll think "well it's ok if I sit in the middle lane all the time because people can pass either side of me..."

General / Re: What was your first car ?
« on: 03 October 2011, 06:59:31 PM »
What car? Never owned one! :)

General / Re: landing gear on a fazer
« on: 03 October 2011, 06:58:37 PM »
The fail safe is a tricky one. You could make a case for landing gear up and for landing gear down and both would be valid so I'll have to think about that one carefully.

I'd think that "gear down" should be the failsafe, ie positive pressure (or whatever) against the springs would be required to hold the gear off the road because failure without that would mean the bike is likely to fall over at very low speeds or when stopped and take the rider with it.

The only time this might possibly be dangerous is if the failsafe was activated when leaned over in a bend, but unless the springs are extremely strong, I don't see that they could force the bike upright, so it wouldn't be until the bike returned to full vertical that the gear would be fully engaged in the "support" position.

Although I would add a big red light and warning buzzer if the failsafe was engaged to warn the rider if they hadn't noticed!

General / Re: Motorway Limit to 90
« on: 02 October 2011, 04:19:55 PM »
higher speed limit = more petrol used obviously Raz, so one would assume most MPs have a large number of shares in the oil companies.

Or more tax revenue for the Treasury...

also, (my idea, thinking on the fly) retraining of cagers to understand that it's the ones joining a motorway/dual carriageway that have to give way and adjust their speed. as it is no one sits in lane 1 cos that's the lane that taffic joins. and it should not do so in a queue nose to tail either.

Approaching a junction where there's a slip road, if the traffic is reasonably free flowing I'll move out from Lane 1 to Lane 2 to make it easier for people to join and to make it safer for me in case someone "doesn't see me" because they've not checked properly.

General / Re: landing gear on a fazer
« on: 29 September 2011, 11:37:05 PM »
Never seen that before, but it's a nice idea.

I'd think the easiest thing to do would be to link the "landing gear" control to the speedo so if it drops below eg 5mph, the gear deploys, although you might want a backup attached to an accelerometer (or maybe the brake system, I don't know) such that it would also deploy under very hard braking in case the speedo doesn't "catch up" in time.

General / Re: Motorway Limit to 90
« on: 29 September 2011, 11:29:35 PM »
The thing is, as it says, most people drive at 80 these days anyway and the Police generally turn a blind eye because it's not unsafe. (I did once get a friendly warning from a Copper who stopped me when I was doing "over 90" but because I wasn't riding like a twat he left it at that.)

Telling people they can drive at 80 will just make them think "well, it's probably going to be ok to drive at 90 now" and probably nose to tail in the outside lane too...  :rolleyes

Thing is though, as it says: "Bigger lorries above 7.5 tons are restricted to 60mph on motorways and this is expected to remain" in other words, Crawler Races will now be even *more* of a PITA.

I sent such a request the last time it was mentioned on here (7th September) but not had a reply back yet.

Your Suggestions and How you can help / Re: Thoughts Occuring
« on: 27 September 2011, 01:57:16 AM »
i miss the darker background as well - i know on some forums you can choose your own background ????  (maybe us older members find it earier to read on darker backgrounds ??

Under Profile/ Account Settings/ Modify Profile there's "Look and Layout Preferences" which lets you pick a display theme.

At the moment this is the only one available, but I'm sure new ones can be provided soon...

Events, Meets, Ride outs etc / Re: MAG protest: EU hands of biking
« on: 27 September 2011, 01:49:04 AM »
MAG have a load of pics on their pages, but here's one I put together at Rownhams Services on the M27:

General / Re: MAG Rider taken Out yesterday by a 4X4
« on: 27 September 2011, 01:40:58 AM »
On the M27 ride, there was some twat in his Chavmobile who thought he could get ahead of the group by belting down the hard shoulder, up the slip road and across a junction before racing down the slip road on the other side.

Pity the Police were holding traffic on the slip roads onto the motorway for the bikers...!!  :rollin

Seriously, though, I hope this guy is ok and the driver gets the book thrown at him :(

General / Re: MAG Protest
« on: 27 September 2011, 01:36:30 AM »
Maybe we were too nice and next time we should emulate the French bikers and bring cities to a standstill...   :rolleyes

General / MAG Protest
« on: 25 September 2011, 10:24:34 PM »
That was a great day! I joined the Motorcycle Action Group rideout from Rownhams Services with several hundred other bikers protesting about planned new EU regulations for bikes.

Everyone was well behaved, the Police were excellent (holding traffic at slip roads for us!) and after that I went on a ride on my own, had an excellent carvery meal and got home, knackered but happy :)

But the annoying thing is that despite a national protest by thousands of bikers all over the country, there seems to have been sod all coverage by the national BBC and Sky news :(

There's also which lists some routes.

Pages: 1 ... 111 112 [113] 114